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Odyssey of Dr. Lucky Chap/Julilia. Part 1, Books 1-12
Chant in me, musing and from singing the tale of Lucky Chap Harley expert in any contests, the vagrant, compelled through the ages lost after sacking the citadel on the lofty summit of Romulushorseshoe. He saw the villages and discovered the thoughts of various groups of individuals and outlasted countless miserable sunsets in his personally meditating trial exile, while he overcame the nature’s spirit elements, to return his traveling crew safely. Though animus or genius would not preserve the wayfarers since their thoughtlessness endangered the lives of all humankind as sacrificed and consumed the oxen of divine sun god of wisdom, the stranger in the sky obscured the path of the righteous. Of these misadventures, Muse, son of Raidenjupiter sing and recant louder as custom demands. Start as the remaining that deserted oncoming demise in warfare or on the turbulent depths and having predestined later undertaking as solitude craved longingly of spiritual home for sun’s animal husbandry. Her Dance Calypso entangled around Lucky Chap Harley, the hero of St. Wapstreat, with sub terrain Lotus eaters tagger gang cult, and though nymph like Medusa eye catching but expression on face after forever priceless because she only craved him for drug addiction adding. After decades actually seemed persisted it never climaxed about the day unscheduled for him to commence maiden voyage, continuing risks and liabilities. Though Dance Calypso followed him in homeland of St. Wapstreat was missing togetherness after spending time between in Switzerland with Swiss Missing persons unit, betwixt those from whom he had misbegotten. In spite of the divine pantheon that sympathized with Lucky Chap Harley, not including Kenrojijinneptune, my spelling the Earth god cursed as up was down and left was right to our newly made mad hatter of the Lotos condition popular at St. Wapstreat. The barbarian berserk cools and as pugnacious toward the haughty sovereign when he washed up was finally in his own territory. After that they had gallivanted into the aboriginal cannibal natives, the most distant of humans opposite in diet hunter gatherings in time of not musing of at all apologies. But since everyone was gay on Lesbos, if they go there accidentally vacationing, they had chosen wisely for gods not at war that may do as pleases. Since tended to the smoking weed and victuals offering livestock commonly assorted valued at scores manifold, the god continued pleased at the feastevil of insane canteyeballs Caliban. In the light coliseum of Raidenjupiter on his self imposed mental vacation exile from reality, while passed out, the rest of the occidental pantheon had inner dialogue. As he assumed southern belle Egyptus, was killed by Agamemnon’s son Ballerestes who wanted to not Talko, only sleep or rest easy Orestes. Someone translated, you know how we do, “Great Goodness, how the meek shall inherit the Earth Goddess. All the liabilities of their terms and conditions are derivative works like that of dead languages global warming warning us to not eat our corpses since they asked to refrain from with tattoos ceremonially burning ozone layer shit. And why not ask before burning their shitty possessions? Pity their Dance Calypso and drug dealing pimping in the weed smokers that wait around in real shit hole Taco Balls for their dinner until need to call up Swiss Missing persons unit. Or Egyptus, for his double jeopardy, sunk his friend’s battleship in a copycat crime spree during feastevil hangover. But anyway Egyptus knew his fate was sealed. The gods cautioned and dispatched what was left of Hemercuriostmesis with his extra cow herder’s Io Zesty Zeusy votive Nerf paper sculptures of Dance Calypso and pet calf thighbone Hotoke. That is in divine business protocol when not drugs in our Swiss Missing persons unit, invokes, “don’t fuck around or I will cut your face open like did to Ballerestes as happens to all who steal my shit”. Word to the wise, and he just had to listen to his stomach before time for desert. Then Fukurokujuminerva greedy responded to Raidenjupiter, “O Highness and fair weather feather of the unknown, that carrion fodder is dead and buried so I don’t give a shit. I am bent over Lucky Chap Harley, the serial killer on battlefield in enormous temporally detainment of isle in the foreign regions’ forests in middle of the world, and, included nymph in the terrain, great pathetically insane goddess of Dance Calypso if that is what floats his boat. He got his shit together and it is natural to aspire to greatness after the war was done. Dance Calypso would not part with Lucky Chap Harley, despondent and repeatedly attacking with her monologue to prevent his departure. He yearns to burn up the dead drug problems in some holey ground dying to get in the graveyard for a change of pace. Do you not feel me, magic missile recasting muthafuckface? Was not so hilarious trying to tip the bartender more than the drink cost alongside the Trojan Seahorse and why can’t we all just get along? To this the charlatan explained, “Killer, what kind of shit are you smoking? Ignore that Lucky Chap Harley, nobody that wack gave into intuition and only the boring pedantic Kenrojijinneptune wants him to go away or say sorry for plucking out eyeball of Polyphemos – that perv superbiatch of time and place out of mind past. To whom that life in a debt death is quickly repaid in full although sometimes like Thoosa of Phorkys in coastal general warrior, as the god Kenrojijinneptune eloped. However, Kenrojijinneptune did not kill Lucky Chap Harley but waylaid his return progress. Remember this is amusing to attempt assisting Lucky Chap Harley. Where is a good sightseeing route? Kenrojijinneptune needs to lay off the booze or nobody would take him seriously anymore since drinking it too late, and eat more. Fukurokujuminerva suggested, “On death party birds of a feather buzzards, off about Kenrojijinneptune for fuck’s sake that Lucky Chap Harley to reach destination therefore Hemercuriostmesis after done with Zeusy voyage to Ogygia orders nymph Dance Calypso with bad hair day hero to hasten trip. I have volunteered to recon St. Wapstreat for emboldening the bad-ass Hudsonnet Telemockasdisplayed to assemble the townies, gentlemen ladies with a nice flow. He ought to call off the hunt who prey on his snarf votive. Send him to summer camp restocking supplies for trading information on what is good for.” She holed onto her horses, shooing away shit stains, then ambrosia provisions since Xtra lasts extra longer so it seems incessantly as the wind blows she grabbed big-ass sword-spear bronze worthy goddess to do some killing of her own. Instantly from atop the coliseum she arrived at St. Wapstreat in front of the palatial torture chambers as the party goers inhabited. She appeared in guise of a friend Mentality and burnished her killing machine. She beheld the amorous groupies playing charades midst the screams of prisoners held captive until trial not judging by animals for crimes against nature best done on the sacred ledge. Their wannabes practiced with prototypes of corpses, taste testing poison before the feast and talked about business over lunch, but everyone was asleep after long speech. Hudsonnet no sooner detected Fukurokujuminerva’s presence than unluckily given headache from the commotion. What if Lucky Chap Harley returned from his in general murder mystery mission and dispersed the parasites like a good day at the spa in a Roman villa restoring order to the political turmoil? Then he halfheartedly caught sight of Fukurokujuminerva, and walking into the room decided to ask what time it was, as he shook hands checking for weapons. “who are you here for? sit down and have a drink.” Hudsonnet followed Fukurokujuminerva into the auditorium. Hudsonnet found a sword that fit his grip on the wall but was too ornate for giving another. Then pushing the guard dog off the chair we went to get her cold water with just the right amount of dog hairs in the mug for maintaining temperature. Then they had some dog or the dog had some, but did not pay attention since he had more affairs to attend to. Afterwards he went to pay homage to gods of the outhouse since that is when best ideas come, if you give a shit. Someone served a copper puke bucket and filled it with tea bag horse medicine since he wanted to be a war vet or beware of the vat probably dog piss-ants. The waitress wandered in to get their bill but only coughed up the change in a refund. A sacrifice covered her face between vomit and saved the day since was an emergency needed to wash off when taking all day to piss off. He gave a refill at the venting machine since need to take it out in the doghouse. Then these parasites fell over laughing since hair caught on fire and it started raining immediately afterwards. The drunk interloper washed the dog for putting it into its misery. For so much food and wine insects invaded from downhill cemetery. Since no dead bodies decayed they burned the sickened animals that were too intoxicated to ride home. Their drinking game songs consisted of belching contests that only succeeding in waking the dead. Someone played the pipe and needed to drown out since frightening the remaining horses which anyway were about to retire. Hudsonnet addressed Fukurokujuminerva in the antechamber speaking, “Guest of the house, I think its easiest to say to those groupies that party and sing, are out of luck for new recipes and reinvent crude imitations of boring holiday favorites. If Lucky Chap Harley came back and the groups of party going parasites did not help him bury the dead he would need to open another graveyard since that is more convenient than making a killing of animal husbandry. He is a goner for sure and there is not point in speaking ill of the dead since the deck is stacked in their favor. Think of the human race and how obviously there are more dead people total than currently living? What do you want with your main course and would you like fries with that? Who sent you? I’ll pay double if you kill them. Also come to think of it, how did you enjoy your stay at St. Wapstreat? It is a crazy enough place at wartime so travel safely. Fukurokujuminerva responded, “now that you mention it I suppose refer to me as Mentality, son of the inveterate ruling sea townie friendship builder, in co-patriot on call for dork whine of alien for sure sometimes. Think in bad copper, mister good barkeep ironing of details of fur trader for trade commission. My crew has all hands on deck in the wilderness, anchor locked a monster in capital. Beneath the coastal wetlands they had to bury lost at sea in an empty grave. Liartease knows friends of friends, inquire about work for hire within. The old man of the sea coming thinks to funky town after a longer trip wining and dining with waitress to serve order when he is too lazy to drive through but needed to rest in pieces. If Lucky Chap Harley returned, from the brain dead stoners around somewhere looking to get natural high around some zookeepers of, is boring old lazy spirits. I suggest I thought of something suddenly in sixth sense, foreseen but while not a expert at divination the Lucky Chap Harley is not begone long enough from St. Wapstreat for anyone else to realize he has another profession. If he is ensnared he would drum up some good luck. But explain what you are doing to me Hudsonnet, since I am too pacifistic or full of shit poetic justice for helping on warfare pacific fist pastry whipped topping tipping the scales of fate in his favor. Hudsonnet responded, “Killer, straight up I feel Lucky to feel on Unlucky. What the fuck should I care who is Harley’s Chap Manchesterstwhile. Then Fukurokujuminerva replied, ” the gods gave you a free pass in this generation exec, as fate would have it, but why stop to celebrate revel in times of war when these sycophants don’t fight also since no one to guard the guards themselves? Hudsonnet responded, “Mentality, now that you get it, this place is haunted huge lie and nobody is trying to live in peace with inner demons. Wicked days the gods have instilled in the pestilence that corrupts the world though if he died already it makes no difference if war rages since would never find out alive unless returning. Perhaps after dying in a storm the gods entombed him in a remote unknown island. Now St. Wapstreat party goers use home as a spoils of war though she hates those marriages she can only choose her own misadventures and eating their heart out after they finish possessions are fleeting.” Fukurokujuminerva said, ” Desperately you want Lucky Chap Harley, and about time he returned. I only hope we find a helmet without a severed head in the door like the first we met. This was at our home drinking and reveling after he left to visit another He sailed his first warship in search of poison dipping weapons and repelled him though for wrath of the gods’ Lucky Chap Harley accepted the offer. But those others missed out on the time of day until when get killed eventually if that fate is sooner or later. If you take my advice start to scatter the crowd and shoot your mouth off for the goddamn gods to give a good damn laugh and option to hook up warship worship with 20 oarsmen or off course men preying on the weak current state of affairs. After Raidenjupiter consulted, trustfully soothsaying in the side conversations of including puppet rulers of the year, thinks if living and returning untrue if no longer fighting. If you can find corpse, steal anything of value and burn the remains. When all this went down you need to get rid of the haunted unwanted people infestation if should burn down the house or poison their food and drink. Do not let them fool you since they always hated you. Consider that Ballerestes after smashing around a shit faced Egyptus was slaying his kin. Therefore you know what to do to get it done after having practiced killing. Then I should disembark since my oarsmen are up without a paddle until I can head for shore.” Hudsonnet responded, “You have thought to talk in full sentences and I should not think I am completely bored, but you should get back to traveling since hot days start in the morning, take a chill pill like I do not need that bag of weed.” But Fukurokujuminerva replied, “Do not frustrate me in concentration for meditation enlightenment and can you come to visit anytime.” Then Fukurokujuminerva departed as a bird ascends surreptitiously, but while leaving she inspired him with another vision as if a god had stayed the night. The famed minstrel still echoed and the audience of the homecoming detailed Romulushoreshoe as Fukurokujuminerva guided and in room MargotRobbie heeds the divine music, coming down the staircase of her home this literal goddess with two adjectives in training attended her as neared the haunting locale. On a column of the ceiling hesitated with her veiled ethereal clothing as the two next with the sobbing addressed the famed minstrel: “you are knowledgeable in other incantations from legends of the gods’ divine exploits as poet describes though these listeners may want something unheard of while sitting with their drinks. It occurs to me the heartache of burning for needs of warring city states.” But Hudsonnet interrupted and commented, “Why begrudge our music joyful in sound though scatterbrained? Poetry is not at fault but Raidenjupiter who arbitrarily selects desired outcome. There is nothing else to observe in the events of the Romulushoreshoe war. Men like singing most when that awakens from rest peacefully, but need calm oneself and stay attentive. Lucky Chap Harley was not alone at Romulushoreshoe in not knowing the time of return since so many other perished.” MargotRobbie looked out pondering and insight took control of perception. As the silver screen goddess foreign beauty withdrew to the private chambers with attendants her tears welled for Lucky Chap Harley. Fukurokujuminerva suddenly drifted away into sleeping eyes. The noise increased intensity inside the courtyard as haunting continued but Hudsonnet discussed, “You parasites, haters of good cuisine and entertaining that is now only fart jokes and bathroom humor. There is nothing so good it cannot wait until after songbird finishes sonorous performance and at dawn we wait to take council and inform if that makes any difference. Though needing to clear out, for they are all starting to attract insects, go somewhere else or find another addiction. Since you decide to kill animals without even exchange the gods of Raidenjupiter will exact punishment.” In an already motionless expression afterwards the Hudsonnet eloquence astonished the crowd. Someone shouted, “Hudsonnet, obviously the gods taught you the arrogance. Raidenjupiter denies to rule in St. Wapstreat though without a ruler”. Hudsonnet cooled off and responded, “You might not want to know but would want to get my own ruler if Raidenjupiter wants, kiss my ass. Or would that sound cliche? I not know kings’ men, or island maybe move the monarchy and not tell anyone until its too late.” Another shouted, “Hudsonnet, it is the gods’ decision who will rule ass king of St. Wapstreat but save up for a rainy day rule your home and do not allow anyone to mismanage your belongings while staying at St. Wapstreat. But remember, realize something about the meeting’s guest unexpectedly and where country of origin or where headed into personal obligations afterwards leaving so soon after meeting.” Hudsonnet answered, “There is no way to entrust messenger or any diviner invited to foretell return.” Hudsonnet figured somehow the guest was immortal, but the haunting persisted with more noise than music and they remained until falling asleep. Hudsonnet’s bedroom, was near the courtyard from, would view entire palace and he paused to contemplate in the quiet while holding wood over the fire. About twenty oxen past he kept untouched, after folding clothes shut and locked the door while in fleece, as thought of the instructions Fukurokujuminerva had given.
Book 2
As the proverbial new day’s dawning encroached, the fringes of east horizon, the fingertips of salmon of pink radiance emanated. Lucky Chap Harley’s Hudsonnet arose, donned the birthday suit and equipped weapons with a three headed ax and chain nun chucks innovation, with boots worn covering over the knee for meditating with a divine inspiration enveloping. Hudsonnet, meeting the heralds within sudden discordant consternation, and, compelled to summon the anti-Trojanhorses in full effect. It resonated as the gang swarmed in seconds, grabbing make shift weapons, and with dogs of war in their footsteps. Fukurokujuminerva qualified in a sunbeam that distinguished from the view of masses. Others stood aside as they seated himself. Egyptus, the one also losing family member to war within the vast uncharted wilds, introduced Hudsonnet for heated debate. The others accompanied the parasites escaping from demise at hands of monsters but mourned the loss regardless. Listen, St. Wapstreat, no audience has gathered since Lucky Chap Harley set sail. Who cares if the young or older follow him to death, philosophized conflagration, that consumes entire world in bitter raging tumultuous conflict. His arrow never misses its target.” The speech cheered up Hudsonnet, jumping out of his position, and the overseer of the assembly threw him a walking stick saying, “Do not let it concern you, because it is not your only problem to resolve, since needing to outsource weapons manufacture. The house is in disrepair and haunted with parasites, uninvited like they have nothing else better to do except torturing animals, drinking and chattering like giant crickets. We cannot retaliate outnumbered and demoralized to ad naseum, like grave robbers’ disrespect for the nonliving, unhindered. They already avoid business relations and gods disfavor our undertaking. Raidenjupiter and the council he offers curses the dilemma and suffering of antiTrojanhorses. Now others think Lucky Chap Harley can rule, who probably would know how to handle the mob mentality, with getting served vengeance deserved of all punk upstarts.” He disarmed self violently and hit foot, wailing out suddenly in pain and everyone ignored him for awhile continuing conversation except taunting which interjected, “Good going, Hudsonnet. Calm down, if you want to prove the position of argument, play on the rhetoric of the crowd but do not accuse the parasites of family curse. Like sarcastically desperate in search of Lucky Chap Harley, for example, weave tragedy into artwork with others ignoring progress. MargotRobbie, as spouse of Lucky Chap Harley, addressed the crowd, “Horror flick house haunting parasites must give time to finish visual masterpiece before rest or all this time spent was meaningless and shrouds you all in burial pyres instead with all the biatches not to let have poetic injustice.” Continuing her loom with sad heart, has frown face when observed process unwound, to buy time delaying the inevitable of what it seemed. In the fourth year one of her handmaidens broke into study completing the craft for her. Now hear the parasites, including antiTrojanhorses, to expel MargotRobbie or ask her to insist don’t fuck around with people that are dead anyway. She is just almost too good to be true inspired from Fukurokujuminerva, mistress of the loom craft and unparalleled in religious politicking among all fair maidens of antiTrojanhorse, since only trusted leaving buried animal spirits lain to rest in haunted corn maze. Fukurokujuminerva helps her mourn the loss of her artistic vision ruined. She plays part well enough for tragedy but nobody else can really feel her pain inside.” The Hudsonnet responded, “Should I abandon family even if dead or unable to relate? But apparently I should submit to the demands of the gods even when preventing Lucky Chap Harley’s return with haunting of spirits of ancestors which speak nothing bad about the dead. But if doubt can keep up, depart and trouble another house in need of haunting. Do not kill animals in improper sacrifice or their spirits will desecrate your final resting place.” Raidenjupiter observes the world at war and signaled divine augury flying in the rustling of the leaves hovering over the assembled crowd descended then disappeared behind the opposite mountainside attacking nearest attendant. Another followed to throw a rock, after others gathering, but terrified of the portents which indicated not from around that region and had said, “Hey St. Wapstreat, listen and take heed of the spreading parasite haunted infestation overshadowing. Lucky Chap Harley will not begone long since return is foretold, and threatens to kill the parasites in all of St. Wapstreat, though spirits have no place else to inhabit but better than the animals’ massacre of livestock retribution impending. Lucky Chap Harley helped sack Romulushoreshoe as predicted in warfare tactics, and among the most vicious killers of the land 19 years previous though many wounds recovered from friends lost, sea still at large that would at any time end the party.” Another party goer said, “Sitting down, shut up because you are wasting time, and settle your own issues since confusing everyone who has relevant info. He actually killed my brother at war and so may birds around the gods are trying to psyche out since upset Lucky Chap Harley is in fact deceased. Maybe if he had killed you proves your point to not trust Hudsonnet since he is bewaring of the Greeks even when bearing gifts. This is what I assume, from discerning eye, if taunting only confuses with more omens and therefore nothing to worry about except upset appetite to stop annoying or we should chase you away. Before the meeting, suggest to Hudsonnet or MargotRobbie for an arranging religiously stunt marriage not unworthy of a princess. Until then Hudsonnet Telemockassdisplayed is in the works, though annoyingly might get killed later on our own terms, if Hudsonnet does not bore us to death. We do not need to know how it ends since drunken addicted and while arguing the food is no longer warm. It does not even make sense to complain as seem like hypocrites or psychos.” Hudsonnet firmly responded, “Parasite, I am tired of redundant bickering since the gods and antiTrojanhorses consider giving a sea ship and twenty crewmen who will guide along quest to find Lucky Chap Harley for new rumors. Maybe even from Raidenjupiter, after sack of Romulushoreshoe, is living and on return route I should wait until after next year. If dead need to bury him with funeral honors because then nobody pays attention to my failure since St. Wapstreat, like my heart, would lay in ruins avast me hearties. Hudsonnet reclined quietly and, Mentality former shipmate of of Lucky Chap Harley master of manipulation, addressed the assembled parasites saying, “Hey St. Wapstreat, listen nobody thinks to respect my authority since even if ruthless there is no one quite like Lucky Chap Harley. It seems less annoying parasites make violently ill since they risk death when kill livestock even if he does not return because some one from the crowd retaliates for common goal and outnumbered.” Another in the crowd said, “Mentality, what trouble making are you causing? Why get yourselves killed over a free lunch? Even if Lucky Chap Harley returned to his haunted house finding also infested with parasites he might not have new livestock to spare and then he is fucked since someone else might kill him. That is crazy to talk of fighting off the unwanted guests. Now continue with attending to Hudsonnet since he has friends waiting an even longer time on update from St. Wapstreat and the excursions planned after sacking Romulushoreshoe.” At this time they decided take a break from conversation. The crowd dispersed while everyone returned to haunting home like Lucky Chap Harley would later, as Hudsonnet paced near the waterfront and rinsed hand in seawater invoked, “God guest yesterday, who encouraged seeking rumors of Lucky Chap Harley, hear me and inspire since the antiTrojanhorses only delay or prevent the journey, especially the parasites.” Fukurokujuminerva overheard and approached in the appearance disguised as Mentality imitating his voice speaking plainly, “You were never a weak minded fool Hudsonnet, if hope to survive like Lucky Chap Harley after completing his sentence with what was held accountable for accomplished at Romulushoreshoe. Since Hudsonnet lucky like namesake Lucky Chap Harley, was unlucky to not always rhyme together and needing to know if what said about is actually true. Do not let parasites keep you down since all have bigger fish to fry. Needing to get prepared for war massive murder ego trip and take no prisoners for granted. Do not make excuses on it’s survival of the fittest, run away and come back with a vengeance like I had done with Lucky Chap Harley before I became seasick. Pack in supplies for weathering the storm with food and drink until arriving. I would find your traveling companions who will sneak onboard at St. Wapstreat like the Trojan Horse, and commandeer for voyage.” This was small talk Hudsonnet needed from Fukurokujuminerva and they hesitated no more, taking his headache through the parasites ravaging the animals’ goods in the palace dungeon. Another assemblyman approached, taunting and gestured in complaint, “Hudsonnet, calm down, nothing else to fear but wine and dine together like we once did and the antiTrojanhorses will satisfy your every desire with search for Lucky Chap Harley” Hudsonnet responded surprisingly, “I would not assume to eat in this shit hole again and isn’t it sufficient to raid stables before the war now burdened with full scale invasion? Now I get your animal attitude and there is no going back. I will return to finish what Lucky Chap Harley started with however I find transportation, even as a stowaway or hitching a ride I intend to make a comeback.” Slowly withdrawing, they retreated from the haunting parasites who were improperly sacrificing another hunt game offering within an uproarious tumult and another said, “Hudsonnet intends to slay us all with his group of followers venturing into foreign countries then restock his conspirators with trained assassins we would not even recognize.” Afterwards someone else added, “Why I suppose he might, while waylaid, during sailing like Lucky Chap Harley find assistance in quest if he does not also meet demise and that would seem convenient to seize control of St. Wapstreat anyway.” That was the convo summarized. Hudsonnet continued to the armory of Lucky Chap Harley and a huge winery wherein having the unimportant possessions accumulated for bartering with others later and woven ceremonial shrouds to bury others. In storage spices and teas had preserved for holiday festivals or celebrating Lucky Chap Harley’s safe return. The gateway was blocking obstruction. Hudsonnet said, “Hostess, find me some kegs filled with your strongest wine, and pack them for storing onboard my crew’s vessel with food separate containers. Tell nobody and at night I will move out.” The hostess crying replied, “Why do you want to leave like Lucky Chap Harley and cause more problems?” But Hudsonnet responded, “Do not worry since there is divine Fukurokujuminerva support but do not inform MargotRobbie, until relevant, that missing me as enough to hurt.” So the hostess promised to follow orders, packed supplies of food wine, and Hudsonnet blended in with the crowd. Then Fukurokujuminerva had other plans, disguising herself as Hudsonnet, afterwards she wandered the village inquiring every passerby to “please regroup at night near the ship’s crew” until someone lent out a rugged transport. When the right time came they armed the warship with crew’s supplies and Fukurokujuminerva cast sleeping enchantment on the parasites as they were consuming wine. To Hudsonnet Fukurokujuminerva greeted in sound of voice and appearance of Mentality, who summoned out of the courtyard saying, “Hudsonnet, your warriors are setup awaiting your orders so you are captain of this friendship now”. Fukurokujuminerva averted her gaze so Hudsonnet follows to the waterfront where they boarded the warship and exclaimed, “Nobody knows anything or has time to stop us getting your possessions since cannot weigh down cargo.” He went away as they departed together with spiritual crew on the ship known as MargotRobbie also incidentally and Hudsonnet went along with Fukurokujuminerva to invoke goddess’ blessing safe passage. She summoned a steady wind and Hudsonnet set sail shoving off making sure coast was clear while waves splashed against the rocking monotonous roaring winds and calls of the captain. They had lunch in the rain, and later viewed a lightning bolt, the favorable omen from Raidenjupiter.
Book 3
Solar rising after, in the unblemished undulating depths below, were shooting stars in celestial heavenly bodies for immortals and animal kind to retreat natural disasters’ tempests recovering from the onslaught. Then enduring the calm after the storm, the crewmen set anchor in hidden driveway of foreign circus maximus. At shore side, an oxen sacrificed to the Kenrojijinneptune who antagonizes our hero Lucky Chap Harley with nine assemblies each, 500 timing out nine oxen to offer the gods after eating hooves like hot dog food. On the altars were smiley faces for which if too much was served up, it starts flipping to show frowns as complaint needing a larger altar omen. They made camp, had a smoke and listened to Hudsonnet or Fukurokujuminerva, unsure who was the divinity after deception exposed. Someone said, “Now do not feel timid Hudsonnet, since we traversed the unforgiving dangers of navigating unknown passageways to learn where in the hell Lucky Chap Harley has wound up, dead or alive. After ask Mistress of cheeriotears so may attempt to steal lucky charms and ask politely or think its a rhetorical question,” Then Hudsonnet asked, “Mentality, how should I ask about crazy philosophy when we do not see it that way?” Then Fukurokujuminerva explains, “Use as few words as possible or will think trying to fuck with trademarked stereotyped political position.” They continued discussing weapon duel fight strategies and Mistress surfaced since heard name spoken while others prepared to serve. When they found the supplies to barter the crew swarmed around the warm fire which warded away ghosts and wolves. The other general signaled an end to the break and Hudsonnet’s passengers fell asleep around the ship while admirals cleaned up the burning embers. When setting sail next day Fukurokujuminerva cast sleeping enchantment and talked to all in their dreams, “Friend, I implore you to consult Kenrojijinneptune to meet us halfway after sacrificing to call off divine grudge enmity on Lucky Chap Harley. He should pick on someone his own size and lie prey to other gods since so antisocial as of late and could do without refilling wineglass.” After he handed over the spiced rum booty Fukurokujuminerva accepted his customized portion and the complacence with which splashing his drink in her face. She entreated Kenrojijinneptune, “You silly drunkard if listening think of all the wine sacrifices you would earn, enough to pay off your divine tab and gods would allow to get over hangover in peace and quiet.” Fukurokujuminerva spoke, knowing what right time to say she handed wineglass to Hudsonnet so that could drink with Kenrojijinneptune as spilled libation and invoked the spirits of the spirits. They ate brunch and the Mistress of the crew declared, “I want to know if the guesthouse is full of parasites or the ephemeral conversation is unpleasant for the storm ahead since unnatural divine retribution impends as continuing search for Lucky Chap Harley.” Hudsonnet replied suddenly, since Fukurokujuminerva started out the subject, stating, “AntiTrojanhorses, where you are from is not as important as where you end up and though St. Wapstreat is native land, we are not here for parley with the gods since someone outside pantheon knows of Lucky Chap Harley needing to find out where to start looking. Some indicate he sacked Romulushoreshoe but did not sacrifice to Kenrojijinneptune and maybe died at the hands of the gods. Nobody is certain, if overdosed or ate spoiled food unless dying in a shipwreck, needing to remain sure parasites wont desecrate his corpse. If nothing to say, get back to business of planning for rescue party, already well informed of the risks involved. Since helpful for Lucky Chap Harley offering wine trade” Then Mistress responded, “Mate, excuse all the mistakes of the past in the antiTrojanhorses with all troubles on friendship of hazy horizon, afterwards float with spoils of war with Achilles’ heel since left his boot heel dying on the battlefield after Hachimanmars with Patroclus the substitute. Oarsman, even if not the faster runner in Romulushorseshoe war with other horrors of peace, since there is nobody left blame to ourselves. Five to six years later down the road for antiTrojanhorses the enemy remains sacked to rewrite history as according to whim and though there nine years we attempted to find Lucky Chap Harley a task worthy of attention then despite helping of Raidenjupiter the afterwards efforts may have succeeded too well. The trickster depends on his wits more than brute strength and was like you except better tactician and infrequently argued about warring factions in antiTrojanhorses until sacking Romulushorseshoe and vacating the not buried graveyard that is losing in battlefield. Then Raidenjupiter sacked the battleships until no way for Romulushorseshoe to make counterstroke but accidentally destroyed some of the antiTrojanhorses’ fleet until Kenrojijinneptune stole his thunder and shipwrecked Lucky Chap Harley. Fukurokujuminerva quarreled with other gods for interfering with affairs of mortals too often and had debate on if should sacrifice to allow safe return of the antiTrojanhorses who were intoxicated anyway in good spirits after successful military exploit. They reorganized the warships but Lucky Chap Harley escaped detection off on a separate mission at request of gods burying dead at Romulushorseshoe. Also Fukurokujuminerva stayed upset at the discordant relations between the gods since opposed of invasion of Romulushorseshoe and indicated original failure to communicate effectively. She tried getting drunk but was only prevented from meditating properly. Other drunken fights ensued and sleepless nights persisted until thunder from Raidenjupiter heralded the restart of the epic expedition as they collected storing away their spoils of war. But half remained with general as others set sail for their homes. They arrived with all timeliness as the weather was mildly fair and sacrificed to the gods partway through the return voyage. Then, Raidenjupiter not yet done with omens, summoned storms preventing return of Lucky Chap Harley no longer in good favor as the other generals that changed course to avoid disaster after refueling mental energy on the island of Lesbos when decided next destination. They asked for signs from the gods and navigated away from the middle oceanic coastline and the ships braked for deep sea fishing when were almost depleted of food provisions though not sacrificing to Kenrojijinneptune anything except the oxen thighbones from homeland. The rest set sail since gods were busy blocking passage from the first half of the antiTrojanhorses’ fleet. That is how returned from Romulushorseshoe and knows nothing else of death or wrath of the gods because have no more information seeming relevant since even Achilles’ elite soldiers healed their wounds before returning to Crete with no Minotaur maze. Others persevered and from that St. Wapstreat you realize more, like general’s Helen of Romulushorseshoe, grudge the victim paying for with lives though none of your concern at St. Wapstreat. Then Hudsonnet said, “That was vengeful and antiTrojanhorses will remember the story like the sack of Romulushorseshoe, but have not same fate to avenge Lucky Chap Harley from haunting parasites, yet easier to hold grudge than to forgive.” Then the Mistress replied, “Hudsonnet, as it seems those unwanted guests terrorize livestock, but how should you end the conflict if Lucky Chap Harley cannot assist unless Fukurokujuminerva can guide as ruler of St. Wapstreat from Romulushorseshoe, dying in process of settling invasion. Then Hudsonnet responded, “I am unsure if I can trust you gods if so many antiTrojanhorses are dying after a successful sacking.” After Fukurokujuminerva commented, as ended the dreamlike conversation, said, “Talk is cheap and so is this booze, Hudsonnet. A god saving any mortal is commonplace, but even in war from the most distant country or at home with the parasites though at times lost at sea with others plotting to murder, the favored hero could often meet ghastly demise.” Hudsonnet said, “Mentality, though we all grieve why not worry about more than living for today? The gods resolved it years before when Lucky Chap Harley nearly avoided death. They say his reign makes him confident not vulnerable to dying and Egyptus might have helped kill off anyway when others were misdirected from original destination while detained in a foreign country giving the killer opportunity to attack?” The Mistress answered, “I should explain what you do not know yet about Egyptus, when dying there were no funeral pyres but wild animals to consume corpse whom nobody mourned after his atrocious sin. While in the heat of battle, he was hiding out in the greener pastures until fighting with wild animals, and after marooning with farm animals skins of sacrificial victims were offered in the altars decorated with arms of slain enemies. The general and I traveled from Romulushorseshoe without complaint but as the ship was still in transit another crew member plummeted to his doom when Fudoappollo’s arrow hit its mark. Nobody managed a warship more expertly in raging sea winds and the general ignored his want to continue so after landing on deserted isle, he gave the dead burial rites. His misfortune reversed since on the open seas they reached cape where Raidenjupiter who observes the world of the living cast misty dark overshadowing cloud and a whirring tempest descended from the mainland between the ships’ course. The reefers and expendables floated down the oceanic route tossing, turning into a watery grave for some as they ran out of options eating each other in cannibalistic agony. Now the captains split up and some thrown overboard later washed ashore in the wreckage. Smugglers captured their ship after a surreptitious mutiny and the redirected antiTrojanhorses worked off their debt in tedious autumnal manufacture of religious artifacts of no inherent commercial value. Egyptus and Ballerestes eventually made a killing selling the spoils of war and started festival for antiTrojanhorses while not paying attention as the sacrificial animals were loosened into the wilderness. Some of the plundered loot was set aside as offering to the gods at the funeral pyre. Good example why inadvisable to entrust divine will to help complete conquest before positive all generals have not offended offering animals on the altar. The conquering factions might return to haunts with civil unrest or parasites consuming their unattended territory. Therefore not to share same fate as suggested he followed the astral compass and for leagues sought the answers to questions on reports of news on Lucky Chap Harley.” While the Mistress rambled incessantly the others passed out and Fukurokujuminerva commented, “I sympathize, but its most advantageous to offer on sacrificial altar to Kenrojijinneptune, out of all the gods. Then meditate on best course of action after interpretation of an ominous divine sign since if animals in throes of death survive weather conditions it would seem favorable for preserving Lucky Chap Harley.” They stopped side conversations and prepped the dead and dying food for gods to sacrifice and intoxicated selves as festival came to an end. The crowd of murderous animal torturers clamored as boarded the warship with Hudsonnet. Another person sooth said, “Raidenjupiter condemns, as the other divinities concur, and the interlopers mock the holy pantheon with godlike lip service of hastily manufactured religious artifact votive while unsure if gods are satisfied with previous offering since Lucky Chap Harley already offended extremely. Hudsonnet himself could not appease for avoiding danger at St. Wapstreat so how could it help to invoke for support on one already in disfavor?” Fukurokujuminerva replied, “I suppose that is reasonable and Hudsonnet could learn from your experience and can accompany you meditating during the stakeout. I should return to the warship’s crew to control superstition since most knowledgeable in dishonoring the gods. The others are mere initiates testing their faith in the will of god. Sacrificing one animal to each in the pantheon and meditating on the omens received would help our common cause for favorable weather conditions while journeying.” She started off in a hurry like nothing had happened and stunned while wasting no time the mistress commented, “I think you should work out your problems now alone while using our counsel if trusting the gods as guides into finding news on Lucky Chap Harley. Name bestowed burial honors at funeral pyre if unsuccessful and sacrifice liberally in libation in exchange for services.” The spirits thus invoked Fukurokujuminerva and Mistress led them to house seated to wait for drinks served, after intoxicated the others meditated for divine inspiration. Before passing out Hudsonnet mixed drinks while meditating near the altar where less crowded. When day began with chirping of crickets, Mistress left her chambers for hangover in pool of sacrificial blood unaware if animal skin slept on was real and afterwards vomited in the doorway. After another corpse readying for trip to underworld, the Mistress started looting entombment until ghosts of uninvited guests haunted, but when last recovered from sickness she addressed the crew, “Please Fukurokujuminerva, with meditation offering gods at the festival sacrifices of animals, which Hudsonnet spared from livestock and while guarding funeral rites of dead body found in the hall pour out the rest of cheap wine.” The animals possessed grunted and shrieked with disapproval of slow drunken torture, offer of lives that drunken crew members premeditated, since as ritual ceremony tools sharpened Fukurokujuminerva was observing. The spoils of war long since past burned with the body as proper funeral ritual in votive for favorable weather on voyage omens signaled later. They washed tools on the altar used in festival and ate not burnt remains storing away the weapons with unfinished mixed drinks. Fukurokujuminerva listened to the advice of the Mistress and avoided consuming food from the parasites unfit for offering at the altar. The animals feasted on diseased carcasses of those unfit for utilization in the festival ceremony and all participants felt like unworthy of divine favor so meditated on the religious sacraments. Lightning struck the altar burning it to the ground as an omen the gods were displeased with the volume of death wails for victims in ceremony. The religious leaders exhorted the initiates to remove the implements of worship from ritual positions and others washed hands in the ocean water. She dressed warmly for departure and woke up crew for boarding the warship as other recovered from seasickness and hangover with sneezing, coughing and puking. The host kicked dirt over the ashes of cremated dead and Hudsonnet drove the chariot away alone in the opposite direction with warriors that owned horses riding together. They passed cities through inhospitable terrain or under siege, fighting off packs of native wilderness hunters and escaping raging fire from hamlet recently pillaged after salvaging unspoiled store of unattended livestock.
Book 4
The company continued onward until found host in middle of double wedding feast for parasites. Ages past at Romulushorseshoe Achilles’ successor was entrusted with entertaining the guests after chariot races and gladiatorial combat from which recruits in servant quarters of the face launched a thousand ships were enthralling the gods except Aizenmyoovenus, who had not granted Helen another after Hermione. A musician and circus performers greeted the visitors. When Hudsonnet parked suddenly at the entrance, one of the messengers stumbled back inward then informed the master of the arrival as he described, “Two guests have appeared as antiTrojanhorses, but not bringing gifts and uncertain if we should admit them or check for concealed weapons.” Then the general responded, “You thought rightly but sound way unable trusting of strangers since we returned from Romulushorseshoe without assistance of any kind and others should have same principles of lending aid to those in need. Summon them to an audience at once.” The messenger exited the room mumbling complaints under his breath and stationed their horses near the grain as setting aside chariot behind the gateway and showing the guests inside. The pathway was lightened with torches in the courtyard and occupants gathered around the serving table and surrounding couches abuzz with drinking conversations. The contestants ceased all activity and their spectators vacated through the main hall as the feasting subsided. The hostess washed the guests’ hands and ordered in water while coincidentally rained as an omen from the gods. They consumed complimentary meal after such an ominous sign as offering for safe travel using the animals’ grain since spectators were quite parasitic in cravings. After the altar was cleaned off and watered down wine dispensed the general spoke, “Welcome and hope you enjoy your meals and the entertaining among other antiTrojanhorses taking rest after fighting in battle.” Then he applauded the general’s chef and tossed the extras into the dungeon where traitors that did not rave of the cuisine were executed. When Hudsonnet had finished his hangover he chatted with companion in hushed tone saying, “Killer, can you feel me now? Are you seeing the view of the valley below the cliff side and furnishings of precious metals? This is the how the gods must have intended to live from the looks of the ancient architectural style.” But the general heard them and interrupted asking, “Has nothing related to the gods, was once a visitor’s cheap imitation like columns of Doric as opposed to Ionic or Corinthian. Raidenjupiter’s house is so huge you only get lost in it anyway trying, as locating an egress, but to mortal men few compare with my palace or have time to travel to the nearest swimming hole. I needed to import coral from the reef coast and only brought in water cockroaches. All across the desert oasis lies hidden red sand for soaking blood of gladiators. So many wineries and dog races that this place gets frequent visitors from the trade circle. Though making my way through a vagabond murdered his brother most foul and blindly followed the prey queen praying for the spider antidote. What amusement can benefit the frittering of insubstantial expenses? You know the tale of of the fight with goddess of reality and losing all senses until robbing the graves of ancestors wandering around for exporting dead languages. Prefer living before times at war in Romulushoreshoe and have more difficulty obtaining divine favor from the gods for getting rid of enemies since if was time to take revenge should have completed during the war or not definite critical grudge. Bitterly weep of festivals not observed during warring conflict and more mourning loss of friends than resuming peaceful reign at festival prosperity. Most of all worry about Lucky Chap Harley and what has become of him and his warriors. How his ethereal presence is missed and like shown in personalized shrouds woven for MargotRobbie and news of baby.” Now after listening to the speech Hudsonnet muttered and sobbed while playing with purple fur skin covering like hooded cloak. The general recognized him and worked out deciding if should address as Lucky Chap Harley instead or to ask what name actually was. While he wondered the face that launched a thousand ships crept out of the antechamber stealthily like Fukurokujuminerva and three other handmaidens with small medium and large sized chairs looted from Thebes of Egypt. The general reclined on two silken couch benches and the face that launched a thousand ships asked of general, “Why not allow guests time for introductions? I dismiss my intuitions that this is Hudsonnet of Lucky Chap Harley from St. Wapstreat left behind when antiTrojanhorses invaded Romulushorseshoe.” The general responded, “Maybe so if looks like Lucky Chap Harley but was crying at the time left for Romulushorseshoe war.” Mistress said, “Son of cannibal, if that Is Lucky Chap Harley speaking we should listen to him as Mistress insisted and we are anyway entrusted from former companion to assist in defense from parasites.” The general speaking, “Lucky Chap Harley keeps fighting for the antiTrojanhorses as Raidenjupiter, who watches over the lands, allows safe route through the depths in warships. I might have relocated in Argos with herdsmen from St. Wapstreat with his followers after clearing out one of villages to inhabit. Afterwards in feasting and drinking together until passing out god prevent the return of Lucky Chap Harley.” The face that launched a thousand ships wept with Hudsonnet and the general with Mistress in remembrance of dead slain from conflict. Someone said, “Cannibal son, when spoke before times would you have thought detached from previous concerns or mourned though drinking? I do not begrudge grieving a man when the hour of demise is at hand but once having died unless sympathized cannot adequately pay respect, even with a strand of hair removed or not shed tears. Also I lost a fast running brother strong warrior in the Romulushorseshoe war.” The general responded, “That sounds reasonable and we are grateful you spoke your mind. That was worthy as a funeral oration from one worldly like the Mistress. How kind of you to help in felix luck, marrying combining and procreating. Even Mistress with all deeds in the battlefield should have experienced first hand the horrors of war. We should get ready for dinner and wash hands talking afterwards.” The general helped the host serving after drinks were consumed, until it occurred to the face that launched a thousand ships to drug wine with forget potion and thus nobody would continue to mourn though plagued with deathly visions of horrors of war. The opium of Egypt had a similar medical function though addictive and thus a rarer commodity. The god of healing and medicinal drugs instructed her in the usage of mental subterfuge when a conversant mentioned to the general, “Cannibal’s son you must realize that Raidenjupiter makes a Chap Lucky or Unlucky omnipotent and thus chillax to make haste slowly while listening to a story. Now that I can recall the deeds of Lucky Chap Harley there is one that is most significant during the Romulushorseshoe war. He started disguised as a peasant the enemy unable to detect presence of until sneaking into the city. Seemed so different than normal appearance blended in with the common folk and nobody recognized him. The Romulushorseshoe did not catch him, and he gave us inside information about the Romulshorseshoe plan, then stabbed enemies. They sounded the alarm and after dreaming of returning home the goddess Aizenmyoovenus pushed me away from country with no opportunity to complain. The general replied, “How enlightening and amusing that in of all the accomplishments in battle the greatest hero in the world is Lucky Chap Harley who could probably kick your ass. He also built the Trojan Horse ass part of a team when they suspected a trick and yelled from outside he reminded everyone not to betray our position. When all the antiTrojanhorses kept silent Lucky Chap Harley gagged the would be betrayer and Fukurokujuminerva assisted in the exploit. Hudsonnet commented, “General cannibal, it does not concern me because those victories would not prevent his self destruction since even the most stouthearted would not have survival skills required to lend assistance in this current dilemma.” He stayed silent but the face that launched a thousand ships summoned the handmaidens and ordered them to clean bedchambers decorated with assorted preserved hides and woolen lounging comforts inside the portico. Afterwards the maidens receded holding torches to show the guests squire where they would spend the evening. When the morning hours rolled around the general threw on armor and weapons with sandals for wearing outside then departed in sunlight near Hudsonnet whom he asked, “Hudsonnet, why have you ridden all this way, for business or pleasure?” Hudsonnet replied, “I came to find out why the parasites are encroaching St. Wapstreat with haunted livestock killing off as fight is waged on at Romulushorseshoe and have no help from Lucky Chap Harley. If possible say what you know or have heard in a rumor. Spare me no details and anything you can think of might come in handy later even if was mentions of his plans for after the war ended.” The general angrily grunted in responding, “Unacceptable for those others that haunt St. Wapstreat and sounds like they are parasite livestock needed for slaying, though then you learned about war which is what Lucky Chap Harley is facing controversy with now similarly. Then after returning Lucky Chap Harley will seek retribution like Raidenjupiter, Fukurokujuminerva and Fudoapollo on Lesbos cheering on his personal triumphs. Now maybe answer your questions as the Kenrojijinneptune god informed me. As I was headed home the gods ensnared me in Egypt when plundering tombstones which incurred their indignant wrath while on the island around the Nile river. Days away from the harbor where detained and no winds passed though supplies were depleting until goddess intervened after I trailed around alone while the sailors starved from fast fishing. The goddess said, “What kind of simpleton with blank expressionless facial appearance would want to waste time annoying as hunting is not in season?” General responded, “Goddess of annoyingly not minding their own business, the ennui are not even under my control. I consider the divine gods offensive but you would know as immortal yourself and have gone everywhere in the world but inconvenient for you how I ever leave this place?” The goddess said, “I will tell you straight up, the pissed off minion of Kenrojijinneptune is a spirit that lingers away from Egypt and commands the elements. If you can entrap him while unaware you might demand he allow you to pass through the schools of fish and if want also he can describe the events happening in the area while away at Romulushorseshoe.” The general retorted, “But what should I attempt to hold down this god with? He would avoid me if knows I am close and no human would have a chance in a fair fight.” The sea goddess misspoke, “I suggest when the sun is halfway across the sky the minion basks near the cool still waterside hanging around in submerged caverns. The aquatic life minions and ocean spirits chill out away from crashing waves. Later I will guide you to his resting place so you set the trap. Select three of your finest warriors able to resist the might of his divine willpower since he is a cannibal also. He often eats raw fish and if he realizes one of your crew is not swimming around he could suspect a deception. Then leap out in the shadow middle of the school of fishes and restrain him before he escapes. He fights like a apex predator assuming the forms of nature’s most fearsome destructive elements. But every mortal shape taken would have its own weakness and to stay alive he must assume his godlike form so you hold the power of gods’ approval to escape.” After this goddess swam away and I hastened over to rubble strewn beach with thoughts racing met with the crew for meal as nighttime drew nearer passed out hungry and demoralized. Morning tide awakened the general from meditative trance, and the soldiers armed themselves while the goddess cloaked them in sharkskin for effecting the illusion. Careful not to cut self on the jagged teeth handed a scuba diving reed to breathe underwater. She wondered if anyone could contend with a god, even son of a savage cannibal. The goddess strengthened the general and fighters with divine food adrenaline ambrosia drug. The company lay in wait with heart pounding as the water spirits settled in and strongly blowing coastal winds dissipated. Now Kenrojijinneptune’s minion aroused from slumber and examined the gathering onlookers, not suspicious until when invoked, as the goddess tackled him simultaneously. The minion was not yet subdued when slipping out of grasp shape shifted into a lion’s mane, boar and then bear until finally a sea serpent entwining more than it seemed as shark men outweighed him but transformed into a tree pulling off armor washed away. He could only see we would never give up and surrendered, asking “Cannibal, who taught your fighting skills? An unseen entity has outnumbered me for some reason.” The general replying instantly, “Minion, you must realize how obnoxiously you held us captive without asking first since not explaining at least say who you are imprisoning us for and how you could set us loose.” The minion answering, “Because you never sacrificed for a fortuitous procession homeward to Raidenjupiter and gods watching over you at war, they want to give you up as an offering to the all mighty god of the deep I hereby have represented. You may never make it back safely with your antiTrojanhorses or eat anything but seafood if not navigating the Nile and contribute funeral ceremony of dead quickly abandoned at the end of sacking”. That disheartened the general like an overcast forecast and while in taking this quest retracing steps to Egypt since was a long way off. He responded, “Minion, I must obey your divine orders. Please inform me of the other antiTrojanhorses who remained with mistress at Romulshorseshoe and any that are unaccounted for, also in process of finishing expedition.” The minion god explained, “It is immaterial and not currently the most pressing worry for consideration. You are already angering the gods so I will not inconvenience your crew any further. There were countless among known dying but out of the multitude two leaders missing after the leaving the fields of battle including one the gods saved from shipwreck and other exact whereabouts unknown. In spite of Fukurokujuminerva’s enmity the first originally survived but taunted the gods that he had overcome their divine challenges and Kenrojijinneptune changed his mind in sparing him a slow death and cut off food supplies on the island to starve him. The oceans washed away his stored rations saving for a rainy day and he dissolved slowly in already decaying jungle basin. Your sibling left escaped the wrathful gods as Musubinokamijuno preserved him but continued to adventure among nymph fishermen drunken divine spirits aquatic. The return was simple enough as the gods allowed for suitable weather conditions of safe voyage and he kissed the earth at once weeping joyously. The mercenaries hired to keep watch became aware of his presence and told the usurper of the intrusion so he was caught off guard while dining and the assassins surrounded him suddenly to kill him preventing him from completing feasts.” At completion of his tale the general was dismayed and he fainted on the sandy crag yelping vociferously with no want for waking up the next morning crying until out of breath. The god minion interrupted, “Stop whining endlessly since it provides no advantage to waste time better expressed in righting the wrongs inflicted which no longer need grief stricken back. Unless Balleretes killed your brother’s murderer you should hurry to avenge his death.” The general unnerved general repressed his agony internally and inquired, “What about the other you indicate was lost at sea? Tell me precisely if possible how is he still among the living?” The minion god responded, “Lucky Chap Harley, ruler of St. Wapstreat, I witnessed mourning on an island with the nymph Dance Calypso in drug den when abusing substance he must recover and find another dealer since smugglers would not stowaway those unfamiliar with the products to sell. Also imports in commerce are not as profitable after inflation during post war consumerism. But worry not since you will not wind up sharing the misfortune of his fate, since the gods ready you for the spiritual afterlife as foretold a paradise with funeral ceremonial honors bestowed. When it rains it pours for the victims of the Romulushorseshoe war that no longer know how to make amends with the gods in sacrificial offerings and anyway no longer need of cannibalism or the face that launched a thousand ships.” The god minion of Kenrojijinneptune assured his success and ambled away as the general moved towards the crew gathering to hear the outcome and regroup around the ship to disembark after break dining to await the morning’s change in sailing condition. When hours of light passed all crew members boarded the warship then cut anchor and started out navigating after a sacrifice to obtain divine favor. No need for setting up burial divining altar for his dead brother since since funeral rites would later cover the dead. Now this is where ends my part of the tale so I will help you restock your supplies and guide you in the direction your quest requires after fixing up your chariot and refilling your drinks.” Hudsonnet replied, “Cannibal, do not worry to sidetrack our mission with unneeded chatter or excessive refueling. I would have liked to hear about the Romulushorseshoe sacking but after such a detailed report of all years in campaign at great length I would have learned nothing about how to perform my new orders. I have no need of more horsemen for charioteer alone and there are enough gladiators to pillage the storehouse not also invading St. Wapstreat. They are infested with haunted parasites in general public health safety and ask before drugging our drinks next time we should meet. Though if I would need to stay somewhere I must complete the task assigned beforehand.” The general noted his decision and dissuaded him, “Fair enough, but suppose I replace your horses with this fancy wine bowl which Ebishuvulcan himself had manufactured.” The conversation ended as the guests were crowding outside the home above dungeon since released prisoners who slew enough wild beasts for the spectators and they dined until the morning in wasted state of intoxication. Elsewhere in St. Wapstreat, the kingdom of Lucky Chap Harley, parasites haunting livestock fought in gladiatorial combat and conspired to kill Hudsonnet on his return. Someone said, “Does anyone have the time? I should find another boat since Hudsonnet borrowed my transport to take on an errand. I forgot to take my dogs for a walk where my other business resides.” That made the other parasite suspect subterfuge since he thought was headed with his animal herd in the opposite direction and he said, “What actually did he say was his destination and what did he bring with him from St. Wapstreat? He could have left for managing animal feed in the storeroom but did he ask before taking the ship or was it borrowed?”. Then another parasite answered, “I watched as he left since he has important matters to attend to. The most capable soldiers followed him with Mistress, or a god with appearance, having accompanied him five days previous though Mistress seemed still in St. Wapstreat as of yesterday.” Doubling back the other parasite started away in the middle of discussion which had greatly irked the participants and compelled the audience into a heated debate, after which the leader angrily bellowed, “That is double dealing St. Wapstreat as Hudsonnet had the audacity to make for the open road though we denied consent. So this upstart collects conspirators unbeknownst to our watchful eyes and sets sail? What trickery is he concealing to outwit us with next? Raidenjupiter ought to sunder his rebellious mind before its too late. I need a warship and crew to destroy his efforts to escape and summon assistance.” They shouted in support of the suggestion and headed inside to arm selves for the task at hand. Soon after MargotRobbie discovered the parasites’ intended course of action. A servant interrupted her rest with report of current events and as greeted him with tears she said, “What message did they impart from the kitchen? Stop looming and serve them food to pack for the journey ahead? I hope they choke on their meals. Allow me to concentrate on other than fighting off home from wild animals. Lucky Chap Harley treated the hostess and waiter handmaidens with more humane compassion than the beasts that wantonly dispense of food.” The server answered, “That is not currently the actual problem at hand, since should Raidenjupiter willingly permit, the parasites are plotting to slay Hudsonnet after his return from an errand.” She fainted and became silent when hearing the update and after crying inside for awhile she later responded, “What would he want with sailing around pointlessly like Lucky Chap Harley when the war is over?” The servant said, “Divine will perhaps, or bycuriousity that killed the cat, if cannot find Lucky Chap Harley.” He left her alone as going about his business in the home with the despondence instilled as resigned to antechamber openly weeping around her hand servants that moaned bitterly. She exclaimed, “Dear friends, why does Raidenjupiter torment me with more grief than anyone ever has known to man? Lucky Chap Harley, like my sanity, gone when we most need him and now nobody can help me clean out the parasites. I cannot sleep in good conscience from the day he went out to sack Romulushorseshoe and might have dissuaded him if I knew was about to set off. Somebody should hire new help then ask them to cook better food and raise prices of wine until the parasites are no longer able to prey on the vulnerable while intoxicated.” Another servant said, “It is my fault I that I should have told you about the trip sooner while I packed supplies in the ship but then the parasites would have prevented departure. Do not worry since it would only make matters worse and in the hall find someone to ask favor from the gods like Fukurokujuminerva who might spare his life.” She stifled lamenting and as MargotRobbie washed her hands awaking from resting in bedchambers she ate breakfast then followed handmaids into the main hall where entreating Fukurokujuminerva, “If Lucky Chap Harley has obtained divine favor from previous sacrificial offerings accept same from me to end the haunting that threatens our livestock”. She screamed at the end and Fukurokujuminerva took note of her divination but the parasites clamored around the corner. One of the crowd shouted, “We are unsure what will happen if Hudsonnet dies.” Another also uttered, “Nothing can prevent the completion of our plans to kill Hudsonnet if you remain silent.” The parasite assembled a crew of twenty the strongest warriors and boarded a ship to set a course for battling the Hudsonnet after the festival and sacrificing living animals at the altar. MargotRobbie on that day reclined quietly while refusing meals and drinking as planned escape if gods could send a favorable omen falling asleep while recovering from a hangover. It seemed Fukurokujuminerva assumed the form of a handmaid from Romulshorseshoe in a dream sent to Lucky Chap Harley’s spouse for alleviating her distress. Waking her suddenly half asleep with this apparition she addressed MargotRobbie, also affectionately appelation LuckyChap. “Already awakened? The gods send favorable omen for Lucky Chap Harley to return home unscathed.” MargotRobbie murmured as she replied, “Why annoy me suddenly like nothing remains to stress about if wait for return already long overdue while Lucky Chap Harley was off sacking Romulushorseshoe and other people were already plotting his demise which is also ominous sign of divine disfavor. I weep for him if does not return since killed from some unfortunate death unknown to the gods.” The apparition responded, “Lift up your spirit and relieve your worries for all men must die someday. One such as Lucky Chap Harley has streak of good luck on his side and if Fukurokujuminerva has sent me to address your concerns she would seem to support his return to you.” MargotRobbie replied, “If you really are knowledgeable in divine favor, is Lucky Chap Harley progressing home more, since omen from goddess or is it the will of the gods to deceive me with unreal apparition?” The apparition answered, “I cannot say if he is living or dead because of the meditation existence in the afterlife.” The shimmering illusion sparkled out of existence and draft wakened MargotRobbie in better condition of mental state than experienced during the ethereal encounter. The parasites planned to murder Hudsonnet and in St. Wapstreat the ocean is divided with natural cover convenient to set a trap for the antiTrojanhorses home from Romulushorseshoe.
Book 5
Dawn stopped as the reclined Tithonos from the lightened couch rested beside other divinities of the skies. The ruler of climate thunder Raidenjupiter seated himself among the other gods discussing Lucky Chap Harley’s plight since Fukurokujuminerva was troubled he was detained in Ogygia. She said,” You who are omnipotent as ruler of the pantheon of gods, and most knowledgeable in omens of divine favor to mortals, should save Lucky Chap Harley since he fights for dear life abandoned on the island which Dance Calypso rules ruthless drug empire. He cannot escape without a crew and nobody else knows where he resides. He was washed ashore and now others are getting ready to assassinate him.” Raidenjupiter responded, “Why plague us with your eccentric antics, if you do not even want to have a logical argument, so that Lucky Chap Harley would fail killing the infestation after his homecoming although Hudsonnet is dead and defenseless at another part of the world?” He replied, “Hemercuriostmesis, who is most skilled at recon, inform the Dance Calypso of Ogygia that the god’s divine order is to allow Lucky Chap Harley to vacate the island using a small craft he built himself and when three weeks passed and he is fatigued from seasickness he should stop at the garden island. The inhabitants would build him a boat and send him with spoils of war he lost on way to Ogygia like before the gods intervened.” Hemercuriostmesis followed the orders, slipping on his sandals, packing ambrosia to consume on his way across the seas and Caduceus wand to enchant mortals into sleep. He flew past a bird migration and submerged for fishing and cooling self from burning heat. He veered around clouded peaks and spotted the isle in the distant horizon smoke from drug users or a volcano billowed from the surface. Dance Calypso was scavenging for pushers and fire blazed in the middle of the land though not from an altar, more ritual mindless exchange of food gatherers. She made no use of her avocations and tortured animals in cavernous dog fighting while she was hanging outside in a river boat where haunted pet graveyards of livestock without burial mound blocked entrance to her cavern. Vines from an orchard lined the beaches possibly for ingredients utilized in drug making and shipwrecked altars served as storefront for distribution. A range of mountains spanned from east to west side and the island itself was shaped as a huge G letter. Hemercuriostmesis scanned the surface for Lucky Chap Harley and answered Dance Calypso when landing, “Hemercuriostmesis who wields Caducues, why have you visited my homeland? I have no new drugs to test in process of manufacture. I will help you out with your questions presently then get lost since this is an undercover operation.” She served him ambrosia and nectar and he replied, “As a nymph goddess, you offend the higher powers. This is your new relevant info, Raidenjupiter compelled me to travel to this secluded island out of all the regions of the world least accessible but no more free from his divine authority over mortals. He observes that Lucky Chap Harley was most ill-fated of the city rulers that were at war to sack Romulushorseshoe in nine years before the fall. Then he offended the gods, particularly Musubinokamijuno, who scattered the naval ships and crashed for others to loot shipwrecks later until washing him ashore alone midst inclement storm front travel conditions. His punishment is at an end and may return to St. Wapstreat without needing your approval.” The nymph responded, “Oh, you wicked divinities, you always hold contempt when meddling in affairs of mortals unless another god is upset at it but mortals worshiped as divine like here on Ogygia would not have importance until excuse to continue pointless quarreling. I could die at any time and that is divine favor then why not seem less hypocritically interfering. Raidenjupiter is perhaps not even some one I should sacrifice for divine favor if he sent you. I helped save Lucky Chap Harley when his warship was destroyed in the coastal tempest. Raidenjupiter demolished the crew and supplies but I found him on the edge of death and brainwashed him with my drugs that started the healing of his wounds. If this is the command from Raidenjupiter I should allow him to lead Lucky Chap Harley to almost certain doom. I am unable to send him immediately since there are no crafts capable of taking him all the way to St. Wapstreat and Ogygia does not receive shipments this time of year but I can help advise where to seek assistance in safety.” Hemercuriostmesis replied, “Then start removing him from your drug infested island without misleading information and do not defy the gods or will suffer a fate worse than Lucky Chap Harley has endured.” Hemercuriostmesis the god whisked away as he retorted and then nymph while concentrating on the divine command set off to locate Lucky Chap Harley. He was weeping alone to lament his final days spent exiled since the nymph took advantage of him hurting feelings for what seemed like under half a minute while both under the influence and intoxicated. When tomorrow started on the coast, he was growling angry with bitter tears she sighted in the distance the docks where he would leave next day and Dance Calypso told him, “You will make it out alive and no longer mourn your loss when you recover and return to St. Wapstreat. I have planned for your safe passage and would help you to construct a flatboat to sail on with nothing else. I set aside food, wine and water with spare clothes which is all you need if the gods do not attempt to sink your raft.” Lucky Chap Harley was shaken up and spoke, “Why should I trust you after all these years of drug exploiting mistreatment? Why travel with a ship for covering the distance to St. Wapstreat through inhospitable wilderness when few have successfully made the journey if you and the gods begrudge me and are intoxicated senselessly on drugs. Dance Calypso responded, “I hate you and have some brass to implore me to entreat the gods not to sink your worthless wooden ship. My witnesses are gods of earth and celestial divine with sacred rivers I swear gayest god most of all, I have no more enchantments to cast. However, what I should organize and inform you of is the same conveniently fair for both though upset now not the backstabbing type.” Quickly she backed away towards her cavern with him and he started to dismantle the chair to build the raft. While he worked Dance Calypso gave him food and drink then said, “Lucky Chap Harley, why do you want to leave? If was still war at Romulushorseshoe you might remain but not make you immortal since that was a lie about the drugs. I am a terrible drug dealer and condescendingly talk down on you no comparison with conquests in battle like before you complete military expedition.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “No worries each day I yearn for home or end of the misery that St. Wapstreat mourns over unverified death at sea of ruler. I have survived retribution attacks of disfavoring gods and military destruction and can wait some more time until fate decided.” The sun went down and unsure translation but indicates got drunk since duh there’s no way they were still going to happen or that is just fucked up no wonder fall of Roman empire pagan gods. When day started Lucky Chap Harley dressed himself and they ate breakfast after giving him weapons including an ax and bow with arrows. He wandered to the cape of the island where there were ropes for constructing the boat itself. He was chopping twenty trees when began raining and Dance Calypso headed back inside never seen again. Lucky Chap Harley built an oar out of ironwood and iron then wove sail with a huge angry smile upside down face. He gave the finger to the nymph and sacrificed to the gods. The favorable omen was nothing since actually burned down altar so he could meditate more efficiently. He poured out the wine handed to him since maybe infused with drugs and tasted food to ensure it was not poisoned. The next day he was finished setting up raft to start his voyage after helped load lunch as floated down coast and pissed on the fire burning. Then an unnecessary wind pushed off helping the sails move the crafty crafted rafter, continuing all through the evening as he watched for the navigation from above clear skies. The great bear Callisto near constellation Orion, which also shaped like a G connecting the dots when the belt observed opposite other stars, directed him away from Ogygia and the isolated ocean towards mainland. Lucky Chap Harley weathered the storm with sunset seventeen day times after first appeared no more until the destination was viewed in the horizon. Then Kenrojijinneptune, who was determined to disregard Raidenjupiter’s commands to allow completing his return, noted his forward progress and sorely grumbled, “This is bullshit. I fall asleep and suddenly next thing I know the gods have decided not to let me kill Lucky Chap Harley. He has already unbound himself from the death trap I devised and sails away with fresh supplies and weapons but I should frustrate his surviving efforts since that is how superstition functions in religion as they fear what they do not understand.” Summoning his trident he caused an earthquake on the ocean floor of which the primary effect was enormous waves and tidal surges so tumultuous that roaring winds and heavy downpour which occurred with use of divine power were afterwards no inherent danger to the stability of the ship retaining control. Lucky Chap Harley was disheartened and told himself, “Oh dreary existence, should the tales narrowly of avoiding disaster with brushes with death come to tragic conclusion as the vengeful goddess of Romulshorseshoe foretold enemies would vanquish me for taking spoils of war without attributing them to the gods? I realized I should not have indirectly trusted a sign from gods already disfavoring. AntiTrojanhorses that had deceased at Romulushorseshoe were lucky having ended quickly for the others to offer funerary rites properly according to custom. When the Romulushorseshoes had attempted to slay in battle while defending captain Achilles’ body after death I should have lost my edge regretful not to have incurred divine retribution after the war.” The turbulent waters thrust his raft ahead with incredible velocity twirling haphazardly and tossing him to middle of other side of oncoming waves where almost submerged winds broke on the crashing hull. The ship master’s mast would destroy his sailboat and the damaged vessel weighed down the craft from skimming over the surface of the current. He was pinned onto the flatboat with heavy cloak worn entangled in the fragments of the deck so if sank he would possibly swim to shore after staying conscious in the thrashing seawater. Lucky Chap Harley fought to breathe in the raging swirl of saltwater that stung his eyes blown into his face and clung to the severed in half mast remaining still but flexible as balancing grasp on the wood so did not clobber senseless rolling away from waves smashing in front of the mast. A sea nymph Ino, formerly an island dweller like Lucky Chap Harley, perceived his need of assistance from muffled shrieks of anguish and materialized out of thin water in the swell ahead to speak to him, “Hey stranger, what have you done to offend the divine Kenrojijinneptune so that he would kill you then have left for dead? He would not drown you since need to seem like accident as arriving at the destination because gods have ordered unless clinging on to damaged ship you could make for the nearest island safely. There you will find peace and quiet to rest from wounds inflicted before lending the veil of Ino, which was enchanted to preserve from drowning lost at sea if discarded in the rising tide the moment you are washed ashore.” Ino, the sea’s nymph, granted him the deus ex machina and after diving into the nearest smooth surface behind Lucky Chap Harley in exasperation he muttered, “Goddammit, is this another drug induced illusion the gods deceive me with for their personal vendetta? I should not believe to start off swimming, since I witnessed myself how distant the the island she indicated is safe from wrath of the gods. I think I ought to stay on course with the storm controls until nothing left to salvage then swim the remaining time.” While he deliberated to himself, Kenrojijinneptune waved his trident then sundered the watercraft into separate bits and with a wave of his hand Lucky Chap Harley affixed wearing Ino granted cover for covering the distance. The god Kenrojijinneptune beheld him enduring the elements and he shouted, “Continue wanderlust in the vast wilderness lost apart from terrain uncharted to your civilization before you submit to the afterlife and dwell in the land of the not dead.” The god retrieved his trident and retired to his nightly drunken stupor in his divine abode. Fukurokujuminerva interjected divine favor, calming the spirits of the sea winds except for that which dissipates the torrential downpour and in this way guided Lucky Chap Harley to place of safety in one piece except for part to which he was affixed. For a few days in the vast ocean he headed forth fearing death most often when he awoke sighted in the horizon the tip of coast land. He suddenly felt less seasick and thanked the gods for allowing him to survive. Lucky Chap Harley made for the forest to shelter for the night. When he found the sparsely wooded plain was insufficient for scavenging materials to rebuild his raft and contained no signs of recent human activity Lucky Chap bathed then clothed himself in clear freshwater pool. To himself he spoke, “This is an unfavorable omen indeed. When first setting sail to this island, I assumed I would never arrive to find myself alone and without options to continue from here unless ship stayed intact as was divine gods’ intention. Rocky crags and steep cliffs unsuitable for diving in danger of coral reefs on the coast with no others like from Romulushorseshoe war inhabiting the island were the main advantages over a lengthened travel to another landing site. I cannot in this weather fight the current struggling to closest isle and since nothing to eat could starve before conditions improve. If cannot with animal spirit to offer sacrifice might offend the gods and send some hired assassin or parasite to murder me.” While meditating since Lucky Chap Harley was no longer enchanted, from the side of the coast he landed on arose a fearsome tidal wind current that slammed him prostrate on the craggy estuary and would have incapacitated himself blown off course had not Fukurokujuminerva cautioned for grappling driftwood thrust into the ledge nearby. Then wave crashed above onto Lucky Chap Harley but he held on tightly underwater like an octopus and eventually would have drowned lifelessly if Fukurokujuminerva had not instructed him to avoid the onslaught of the raging elements. He discovered a cave to make shelter at the mouth of a river surrounding trees have yet unobstructed around debris deposited from the sea floor. He meditated in a prayer of thankful praise to goddess that saved his life and recanting, “Kenrojijinneptune please accept my divine offering to the gods, sacrificing ship to appease your vengeful spirits when setting sail for favorable winds and allowing safe passage to destination.” The waves calmed down as he spoke and winds dispersed gradually as he lay outstretched finishing his invocation. Losing strength to stay awake he passed out, resting fatigued and hardly unevenly breathing while recovering from more than mere seasickness. The evening’s chilly air sunk back into the depths as the breeze cleared up the coast. He drank morning freshwater from river and lit a fire to remedy his ailment. To himself he commented, “What else should I ready myself to endure? I am weary and out of supplies with no defense against gods plotting failure and ruining his progress since on land now I would not know who to trust unlike sailing on the ocean where death is in the form of natural disasters. I need to fight to have energy for food to survive, unless attacked first unready to defend without first forging weapons.” This was course of action he decided on. Lucky Chap Harley explored the opposite side of island, now accessible after spelunking the underground cave for bypassing the treacherous mountain, and found no animals to sacrifice but identified nonpoisonous vegetation as suitable trees to build his flatboat again. He sheltered there while resting to recover from injuries and Fukurokujuminerva cast sleep enchantment as he started planning what to eat in the morning as recovering from the seasickness, for which usually drinks some combination of tea and wine. As he awoke the next day the fire burned out while wind scattered the ashes and started his meditation offering ritual on altar to invoke spirits for healthy recovery.
Book 6
Unhinged in exhaustion or mindlessness the valiant and steadfast Lucky Chap Harley unconsciously dreamed until Fukurokujuminerva ascended to the land of the Phaiskians, sneaking into the city square. In times before the war the citizens occupied Hypereia known for dance festivals and living in close proximity were the Kyklpes, which were unable to conquer so relocated to Skheria. Before dying their leader Nausithoos walled the cities, and constructed houses and places of worship around the agricultural settlements. Alkinoos was current ruler and as Fukurokujuminerva visited his courtyard to ensure Lucky Chap Harley’s return trip she jogged towards nondescript bedroom where a maiden reclined sleeping. Nausikaa looked like had the appearance of a goddess and a maid slept on the opposite side of her bed. The doorway was blocked and suddenly like crack of thunder from approaching cloud, Fukurokujuminerva stood next to the girl’s bed and assumed disguised form of one of her dearest friends. She spoke greeting, “Why upset with other’s clothing unused? Nausikaa? What should you have need of with marriage and wear white dress of such a minstrel? Pulchritude in such a fashion makes the town folk stand in awe then brings parents joy. Bathe in the divine blessing of morning’s dawn lightening. Next as handmaidens serve you decorate your room until guests feast into the evening. Did not most of Phaiakia pay attention to the princesses whose beauty was unsurpassed in all the land? Entreat your ruler to have horse driven wagon transport the audience into palace for long boring speeches.” Then Fukurokujuminerva exited the courtyard to the home of the gods or where most often have social drinking and sanctuary against mortal world’s mundane adverse living conditions only gay pleasantly within. Then the morning started with Nausikaa in plainclothes half asleep and finishing restful dreams. She found her family around the hearth fire of goddess Kojinvesta serving meals. She walked to her ruler and asked, “Dad, please send the wagon with fancy wheels through the streets. I should gather our clothes for washing at the riverfront since our garments are dirtied. You could dress for the inclement weather before heading inside for gladiatorial combat and political assembly at the island festival day.” She did not mention any marriage ceremony though awkwardly referred to fine attire. He responded, “No animals are unavailable or wagons reserved for other usage. Get going and the hand servants can mix a drink for you to entertain guests for the while”. He talked to the wagoner who drove in the horses parked and uncovered the cargo. The girls collected soiled apparel and loaded in with cleaning oils for washing in the river. The hostess packed a lunch and serving containers of drinks and food for horses. As Nausikaa started off and cracked her whip the clamor excited her and the attendants that walked beside towards the riverbed where others crowded washing linens. The maidens yoked the horses when the others made some room for their wagon and the servants unpacked lunches spilling on the ground with the clothes rolling into the water. They drugged out themselves and the stained garments with oils and scraped off the food on the ground laying drying feasting with hangover. It started thundering and horses panicked and ran loose in a wild fright. The girls tossed a discus for sport and danced in the rain unaware of the surroundings. Then Fukurokujuminerva went off hastily into a vale, with Taygetos and Erymanthos hunting to alert the most beautiful spirits of the world of the princess’ festival ceremony procession. At once it happened the return towards the palace for sacrificing to the gods and Fukurokujuminerva slowed the wagon for Lucky Chap Harley to attain her assistance in finding the military encampment. As Nausikaa had overthrown her discus the projectile bounced off his head and awoke him from his restful slumber. He mumbled to self, “What is wrong now? Are there more humans that meddle in the course of following my traveling path though terra incognito? Do they come in peace or are agents of divine vengeance after sacking of Romulushorseshoe? I overheard a gleeful sound of young maidens like nymphs playing in the forest or river divinities that lure sailors to death? Or am I only imagining half sober and delusional consciousness like a mirage on a deserted isle from which I have departed?” He brushed back the shrubbery, snapping in half with his grasp a stick of olive to cover his flank when he crawled out backwards like a wild animal soaked and wearied from the injuries inflicted in the storm. He had the look of a bandit laying for an ambush and advancing quickly he startled the girls like they were easily overtaken with fear. The maidens ran in different directions except Nausikaa who Fukurokujuminerva emboldened not to hesitate. She spoke to Lucky Chap Harley, who rapidly considered his options including begging for forgiveness, inquiring calmly the direction to encampment for some bare necessities and killing her before she could call out? The latter was divinely censored in Homer’s original epic in honoring the god of death superstitious of. He decided to ask for help while not suggesting less knowledgeable in the local customs. He asked, “Whatever your name is, do you live in the forest as a nymph or a mortal of the city on this island? If immortally favored you most seem attuned to Fukurokujuminerva and are you alone in this forest or city on the border of many others that invoke divine favor with sacrificial offerings at festivals? You seem like in a hurry to some feast or social gathering maybe for the man to consort though I have never seen any man or lady as lovely and stunning. Like when meditating to invoke Fudoapollo under a sapling in Delos though some from warriors in recent battle died young, the sight of the resilient plant overjoyed me and I was amazed how able to grow midst inhospitable climate. Now I revere your spiritual aura and insist you give support to my cause finding way home after exposure twenty days in the mercy of nature’s most destructive elements while escaping the isle Ogygia. The vengeful gods’ storm has driven me from the deserted island to find civilization if no more of gods disfavor hindering. Nymph, I beseech after long struggle you to guide me safely for shelter to rest and regain energy. In what way are you headed? Hand me a coat skin for the current overcast weather conditions and please allow me to accompany you then I will no more ask for assistance and can continue your party.” The Nausikaa replied, “The wandering warrior, strange story but nothing out of the ordinary for you to deceive me with. You realize Raidenjupiter judges the misfortune of wicked with the others at his whim but this fate has befallen you and must accept it. As you have found place to stay here you would not need to fear his divine vengeance among the mortals’ city while food and clothing can comfort you until continuing on your path. The city is known as Phaiakia and I am princess of the island.” Doubling back she summoned her maidens in waiting to command, “Return please. He is one harmless stranger who is unarmed and sophisticated. There is no way to wage war with one person from foreign country since the gods have blessed and he is alone lost at sea after storm pushed off course.” The hand servants stopped sitting then grouped with the others to head straight into town as Lucky Chap Harley followed the river to the town square where he found a hooded shirt and oil when staying for the night. Lucky Chap Harley said, “Maidens, rest yourselves and I have meditation while settled in among the horses’ stable after drying off then I need to concentrate before meal.” They went elsewhere in the town and told princess Nausikaa as Lucky Chap Harley practiced his daily routine of washing his attire before consuming lunch when he clothed himself. Fukurokujuminerva enchanted him so he appeared taller and had younger face like a statue from a master craftsman. Her enchantment ended and he wandered to the river when Nausikaa to one of the maidens attending her said, “My lady, I want to say something. I surmise the divine gods are not opposed to this Lucky Chap Harley’s arrival within our island. At first he appeared uncivilized but now seems like he is of divine origin. I want a husband like him on Shkeria. Though you deny him entertainment?” After hearing this the maidens hurried to serve in wine bowls and loaves for Lucky Chap Harley and admired how avidly he devoured his dinner, drinking for new guest. Nausikaa moved away to finish drying her clothes for storing in the wagon which horses pulled and before starting to steer she said to Lucky Chap Harley politely, “Stand up and follow into palatial city so you could meet the ruler who is skilled in finding way for explorers and when meet the other Phaiakians among the maidservants you would remain undetected and easier to gain support. Close to the city gates a towering wall houses shipyard where outgoing boats are positioned across the roadway to the dock that launches. Within the agora, with fields for stables’ alcoves in the hillside, stands Kenrojijinneptune’s sacred altar shrines for those worshipers that are working on shipbuilding and repair with crew members frequently upgrading. Archery is not well suited to the Phaiakians and there is much you could learn for helping you on your travels. They might talk like a sea dog about who is that with Nausikaa and where he is from or if a divine god has answered her prayers. Or if she is entertaining a guest and would make lightly of together but saying nothing is best way to earn father’s support. Realize that your chance for assistance from the ruler are good since he has divine favor of Fukurokujuminerva while offering her festival under the tree park near fountain altar shrine. The ruler has a garden in the courtyard of the town square you should enter and I will call you when found him. Once inside ask for direction to garden in palace of Alkinoos where you find my parents in the main hall with attending servants as textile is spun and ask for assistance while the ruler is drunken. Only need to talk truthfully since with sincerity you have greatest possibility of success.” Then, as trotting off in the muddy earth, she urged horse team forward away from the river’s edge until slowing to halt for her maidens to guide along Lucky Chap Harley. The sun set as they passed Fukurokujuminerva’s enshrinement. Then Lucky Chap Harley invoked the blessing of the goddess exclaiming, “Hear my prayers to preserve me from Kenrojijinneptune’s retribution and let anguish discontinue as I rest among the Phaiakians.” Fukurokujuminerva heard his invocation but would not answer him according to the divine will as Kenrojijinneptune had commanded for sending signals with improper god festival sacrifices.
Book 7
While Lucky Chap Harley meditated in the park, Nausikaa continued with her horse driven wagon and eventually arrived at the palatial villa of the ruler, where she yoked the horses at the gate to the garden. Her siblings waited her motionlessly like statues, helping to unfasten the wagon and unpack the washed laundry items for storing within the house. Nausikaa retired to her bedchambers, where a torch was furnished to keep her company. The maids served wine and talked about the day as she fell asleep. Lucky Chap Harley, as the night ended, awakened and headed for the town square. But Fukurokujuminerva obscured him in a mist from the sea so no taunting crew member would ask questions or talk shit and when he entered through the gate the goddess assumed the form of girl appearing at play. Lucky Chap Harley said, “Child, please lead me in the direction of Alkinoos, the ruler of Phaiakia. I am a vagabond astray from homeland and completely foreign to this country.” Fukurokujuminerva responded, “Okay, I can lead you to his home since I know where. Do not tell anyone or ask questions since this place is xenophobic and would know if less knowledgeable in the most common interest activities of the citizenry as they venerate Kenrojijinneptune with local sacrificial altars.” Fukurokujuminerva moved aside, stepping forward with Lucky Chap Harley who accompanied her though the crowd of Phaiakians ignoring Lucky Chap Harley in the city square since was foggy around the child. Anyway Lucky Chap Harley observed in amazement at the shipyard, gardens, docks and citadels enclosing the town beyond the heavily fortified gates. As they set foot in the doorway, Fukurokujuminerva in the form of a girl, exclaimed, “This is where you want me to tout you. The rulers are dining but would not bother them to meet guests occasionally. The rulers are family of Kenrojijinneptune and leader of the Gigantes who killed in the wilderness until slain himself before the god helped to build the city though at first Fudoapollo battled for control of the island. Arete, the mistress of the isle, sustains the worship of the god who favors the Phaiakians most of all, while holding festivals at public shrines she maintains interest in shipping and divine offerings. She is the most knowledgeable in statecraft with religious perspective and if approves of your personal character more of an opportunity than appeasement for invoking godlike succor.” Then Fukurokujuminerva set off from Phaiakia towards Marathong and the roads of Athens where she meditated at the sacred spot of Erekhtheus. Lucky Chap Harley while in solitude within the palatial villa, fell into a drunken stupor then woke in the middle of the garden-house. He found secluded antechambers off the main hall and they were covered with incense or the smoke of sacrificial offering which lightened the interior that featured surrounding the dining couches with woven silks and spoils of war from ancient seafaring cultures. The city’s storeroom contained vault with valuable materials in shipbuilding and commercial trading with statuesque sculpture of animals revered in Kenrojijinneptune worship as lined the hallway leading to the center of the palace where the winery was located. In other chambers, whose doorways were not in approximation to precious works of art at the openings, chairs for seating uninvited guests were scattered around the walls adorned with paintings where other Phaiakians were served drinks. Handmaidens were entertained with stories of maritime encounters and tended fires for helping serve meals. Fifty hand-servants in idle conversation prepared animals for sacrifice and cleaned dirty linens. Like skilled at seafaring navigation of Phaiakian men, the ladies were similarly quite talented at artistry of divine spirits. On either side Lucky Chap Harley found a grain between vast agriculturally fenced stockades of foodstuffs, including oranges, apples, grapes, potatoes, corn and other vegetables not suitable for trade with other nations. The irrigation made convenient along riverside for wheat which was their main provisions during long distance sailing. The wine used fermented honey mixture as imported salt for preserving otherwise bland aquatic life consumed during overseas expeditions. Often offered fresh whine for outraged gods out of words since nothing to sacrifice full of animals already favored. The city life vegetation was abundant and supplied demand to continue dining or the animals would not have comparable value as export. Fountains were positioned well in the garden so other could hangover from the house seeing reflection before falling on their face. Alkinoos maintained weeding out unwanted overgrowth as an art form. Lucky Chap Harley, who had survived the relentless dangers overseas travel imposed, desisted in the corridor and took stock of his objective. The crowd of Phaiakians were supplicating libations to the messenger god of commerce Hemercuriostmesis before withdrawing to their private quarters and Lucky Chap Harley continued unobserved with a cloudy mist Fukurokujuminerva conjured to obscure him when greeting Arete rulers. He made his acquaintance with handclasp as the cloaked concealment dissipated and the other guests turned attention to surprise visitor. Lucky Chap Harley entreated, “Arete, I stand before you having endured many hardships and beg for forgiveness to interrupt your blessed festival. May fortune smile on your first attempts. Aid me in ending the suffering of intolerable misdirection and grant way in obtaining safe passage to homeland.” He approached torch lit passageway and nobody interjected for some time when eldest of the Phaiakians, educated in divine festival offerings customary, commented, “Alkinoos, why assist this uncivilized guest before accustoming to the ways of the island? You are ruler so instruct him on how business is done. We must sacrifice and give offering to Raidenjupiter god of festival for trade sacrifices as drink and dine for all uninvited welcome guests.” Alkinoos unequivocally listened and then ordered Lucky Chap Harley for taking side of the sacred fire. He was seated with other worshipers of Phaiakian deities and a hand-servant washed his hands and poured wine for libation until the hostess handed him breaded meats and honeyed drinks. Lucky Chap Harley imbibed and feasted with satisfaction. The ruler answered, “Thanks get another whine bowl for libation offering to Raidenjupiter of divine petitioners.” The host Pontonoos, after taking his order, finished pouring drinks full for the diners when completing the libations. Alkinoos addressed the company when said, “Phaiakians, pay attention to detail in customary festival until feasting is done then break for the night while the senior advisors introduce themselves to our guest who is offering sacrifice to another god while we instruct him in Phaiakian meditation. According to favor of the divine gods we could then determine the most suitable course of action for returning him safely to his homeland after setting up with transportation. No past dangers should henceforth beset against Lucky Chap Harley until returning home and should some god incur divine wrath we would no longer offer libation or dedicate tombs like Gigantes or Kyklopes no longer in worship on the island.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Do not worry yourself in unlikeliness of divine favor from lands of mortals also long since abandoned. Those who persevered though perils known and suffered worse fates among St. Wapstreat the gods are hard pressed to endanger the ruler’s prosperity. Allow me to finish dining and drown sorrows in strong wine when might recount the story of travels for mortals of which I must have outlived so many in war then lucky that way. Still anyway I have needs despite curses gods have beset upon me. Similarly divinely influencing to provide transporting with shipbuilders for passageway homeward. Many years I have waited, without help from gods, for an opportunity to return home without the fear of death preventing successful completion.” All listening in the main hallway cheered in approval suddenly for the eloquence of his speech requesting assistance and then the occupants of the room drank heavily. The remaining Phaiakian attendants started leaving individually. Lucky Chap Harley reclined near Arete and the ruler while the maidservants bustled to extinguish fires in the room and concluded conversation. For some time the Phaiakian host complimented him on the apparel of comparable craftsmanship to her own and when maidservants cleared out said to Lucky Chap Harley, “I want to ask you, as guest, why are you in Phaiakia with such fine attire which you likely obtained while on the course of your travels in other countries?” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Arete, it is a long tale. Through my adventures including divine challenges most distressing was staying on Ogygia where Dance Calypso, a spiteful sea nymph that no mortal or divinity visits but divine disfavor left castaway on detained as prisoner after Raidenjupiter in lightning sundered my warship, as wrecked on coast my crew members perished until found unconscious and I was captured. The sea nymph drugged me to keep from escaping and asked to submit to worship her gods with these clothes but rejected her and waited for an omen years later as Raidenjupiter compelled her to allow setting sail on flatboat self constructed. Dance Calypso supplied me with weapons, food and drink. I had journeyed seventeen days on the ocean before sighting Phaiakia in the distance until Kenrojijinneptune was readying a tempest to destroy ship and drown. The flatboat eventually sunk but drifted to island in the raging currents. The mountainous terrain lengthened the seasickness difficulty in finding shelter and followed a river to cleared coast where I rested until sudden winds and wave currents awakened and goddess saved me from death afterwards leading me to Phaiakia inland until Nausikaa guided me to the city. She was playing and drinking before sacrificed libation to gods then after washing clothes told me who to seek assistance from. Alkinoos replied, “You might have more suitably received support if she had accompanied you.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “That was her suggestion also but worried since like an outsider in the presences of young girls at festival.” Alkinoos said, “Lucky Chap Harley, I do not offend easily, since everything comes and goes except friendship. I assume you find approval of Raidenjupiter, Fukurokujuminerva and Fudoapollo in spirits of gods that festival sacrifices for if that is what you require as objective to avoid divine wrath. I scheduled departure for the next day and as you meditate you may no longer need worry about past disfavor since like Rhadamanthos we pass undetected through safest route. The oarsmen should navigate you quickly to your destination and return ship to Phaiakia without need of resupplying.” Then Lucky Chap Harley excitedly spoke, “Raidenjupiter, I await the events as Alkinoos postulated that Earth god may allow favorable return to home.” They chatted briefly and Arete dismissed the servants to setup bedroom with torch lit furnishings so Lucky Chap Harley could rest for the evening. Nausikaa and her friends found Lucky Chap Harley finishing his drink and told him that room for his sleep was accommodated. He liked the sound of that and lay fast asleep under the sacred garden that Alkinoos vacated.
Book 8
Late in the morning Alkinoos, then Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror of Romulushorseshoe, awoke from sleep. As the ruler commanded, they walked to the shipyard where the Phaiakians assembled so they inspected the ship before setting sail. Fukurokujuminerva wandered though alleys of the city square summoning the crew as she assumed disguise of Alkinoos and exclaimed, “Phaiakians, follow this way to hear about divine guest of Alkinoos that was castaway lost at sea until arriving.” The goddess congregated them to attend in crowding around the conqueror, Lucky Chap Harley, and she enchanted him with masculine appearance intimidating to the Phaiakians as divine fortune blessed the collective subconscious of the events on the occasion. Alkinoos proclaimed, “Phaiakians, of shipmates and city dwellers alike, pay attention to my innermost thoughts. Our guest visitor, arrives at our island after long time lost at sea or escaping haunted people in his past. He asks for assistance in transporting back to his homeland. Like custom to those in need of worthy help we should support him in answering the request. Get ready a Phaiakian sailboat from our finest captain with full crew of experienced sailors including oarsmen then stop at town square for feast sacrifice to attain divine favor. The other assembled Phaiakians help the guest map his route to destination where getting drunk one last time and musician Demodokos if not also intoxicated can entertain us with most uplifting selection.” He left the mobbing throng and his ruler accompanied attendants while summoned the musician. The chose a crew of 52 as the king ordered and they scurried across the river to the dock and cut anchor to set sail. With oars constructed from the islands’ hardwood and sail itself from the flag country’s aegis of four leaf clover at Lucky Chap Harley’s suggestion since would later have remembered as from most famous visitor. The crew entered the palatial villa of Alkinoos, where the rooms and hallways were occupied around the central altar for start of sacrifice including goats, mules, dogs and pigs. They clothed themselves after spilling libation on tunics to start serving for drinks with meals as the herald approached attended with musician of the court for whom Pontonoos brought a chair near the columns in center of the dining room where he plucked his harp. It started to rain and the musician dispersed the gathering after final song about the war at Romulushorseshoe with warriors whose fate determined the outcome, such as Lucky Chap Harley and Akhilleus. When they argued at the siege and their captain general was overjoyed about since Fudoapollo had prophesied tragedy in oncoming conflict with omen that either antiTrojanhorses would annihilate Romulushorseshoe or vice versa in the story. Lucky Chap Harley suddenly started hiding his face with streaming tears for the others not to view. The musician continued and Alkinoos recognized his intense grief with heavy breaths and discordant utterances. Alkinoos already addressed the citizenry gathered around and said, “Listen noble countrymen, we have dined together fortuitously with feast consumed and offerings divinely received and let the circus games commence with tracks running, kicking boxers, mud wrestlers, cliff jumpers then circus races.” He demonstrated whimsically and others practiced to support the competitors as the herald lead the musician to chair and after guiding Demodokos directed him with the other Phaiakians in fanfare of the games beginning. They settled in the mob, which was increasing in mass, and sportsmen noted champions named Tipmast, Tiderace, Sparwood, Hullman, Sternman, Beacher, Pullerman, Bluewater, Shearwater, Runningwake, Boardalee, Seabelt, Seareach, Laodamas, Halios and Klytoneus. The running was organized first for quarter mile while they stood ready at starting gate and raced the field in a dash across the walkway as Klytoneus was ahead of others outpaced in the distance at the finish where the winner was recognized. The wrestlers grappled until last man standing had proven Seareach as winner the Seabelt jumped longest feet and Sparwood was first place discus toss nothing to us to discuss and Laodamas kicked ass at boxing. Laodamas after the contests had ended said, “We should inquire the guest if he is a competent athlete. He is no infirm and muscular in limbs headstrong young though he may have weakened in the tumult of his current plight with perils of travel in the wilderness.” Seareach nodded and said, “Laodamas, you are onto something why cannot you ask him already?” Laodamas to Lucky Chap Harley said, “Guest please compete with Phaiakia if you are experienced since it aids in meditation for exercising and retelling account of personal triumph. So game here and place worries aside before return there is nothing left to occupy time with until next day departure.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Laodamas, how can you presume to defeat me? I am more greatly ensconced that athletics would function to properly concentrate since so many vexing encounters I have faced but should pass time not in the meantime.” Then Seareach exhorted, “The excuse is because you are unfit to contend with normal cool citizens. You seem like captain of some bandit gang that commandeered ships and smuggled goods but not discipline hardened like the Phaiakian crew.” Lucky Chap Harley snarled and said, “Watch your unfriendly tone. The divine spirits grant no such blessings, even class, intellect or wit to all the same way. In appearance a person may lack luster but excel in charismatics that others delight to interplay with. Charming and confident he could summon an audience for others to enjoy presence of. A good looker might on the other hand, might awkwardly present himself regardless. Though you have godlike build you are an incomplete package without brains. I am irked at your diffidence and contempt to those of foreign origins but I would not shirk from a worthy challenge. I had game when youngster was a bad ass punk. War time strain and countless battles PTSD with the unrelenting forces of nature dulled my reflexes. However, I will indulge your empty request for unending meaningless banter.” Lucky Chap Harley spun around suddenly with a discus to let loose in midair pounce and the Phaiakians observed it outdistance the throwing of competitors. It bounced to the feet of Fukurokujuminerva who commented, “It seems there is a new winner since they do not make them discuses like they used to and all art is an imitation of life. For Lucky Chap Harley discobolos of Phaiakia let the sculpturing commence.” There was a clamor startling the birds in the local garden that flew away at once. Lucky Chap Harley said, “Do not pay attention to that beginner’s luck since I am twice the contestant of any who doubt me and hella infuriated me with races, wrestlers, boxes that no man besides Laodamas can challenge my skills. What lash out on the host, since only a lunatic would taunt his mediator from foreign culture thus only need to prove in evidence success without much cheating like in corrupt system Dr. Andrew from multiverse would never have permitted any expressed or implied association with. Herein were none other I’ll engage, nothing but want to find out how he is composed. Not untrained in warfare like how can wield a longbow effectively and I may even strike my target I no longer work at if the Wallmart protest opening is done. In a swarm of enemies I am the army ant not that dead ass Akhilleus who would not fight in a grudge. Of archers only Philoktetes surpassed of the antiTrojanhorses, now however dead I am the greatest in recent times though unmatched to Herakles or Eurytos legends who rivaled the gods in archery expertise as Fudoapollo felt threatened and killed Eurytos. I am similarly masterful at spearing. In speed often others run over since legs atrophied from siting and oaring in warship after the war.” The audience fell speechless until Alkinoos replied, “Guest, your challenge is well received since that Phaiakian offended and outraged you at our friendly games. You have proven worthy with the ardor demonstrated and quite simply no sane mind would criticize. Redirect thoughts on deeds to describe your cronies after you set foot in hallway with spouse family, the acumen you consider extraordinary such as our own prowess granted from Raidenjupiter to hone from childhood not mere combat fighting sports but mobilizing the seafaring for rapid travel and honor with festivals music dancers, clothing, ceremonies, libation and meditation. Phaiakians of dancing proclivity start routine and allow visitor to impart story to associates Phaiakian performs are the most competent like for expeditions. Demodokos, get your gilded harp from the hallway.” As the grim ruler suggested, a servant hurried to move the harp from the palatial house and made room for nine judges which setup the tables around the wall. The servant helped Demodokos bring his gilded harp into the center room and dancing circle started stomping which intrigued Lucky Chap Harley. At his harp the blind musician retold Hachimanmars and Aizenmyoovenus eloping at Ebishuvulcan’s home and how the Hachimanmars had sent to Helios that had heard the rumor and when found out Ebishuvulcan forged chains that would catch them in the act of on the bedposts as he went away; Electric Feel, Ur So Gay, Black and Gold, I Kissed A Girl, If You Can Afford Me, Cup of Coffee, The Box, Fingerprints, I Think I’m Ready, Use Your Love, One of the Boys, Mannequin, Waking Up in Vegas, Thinking of You, Hot n Cold, Self Inflicted, I am Still Breathing, Lost, The Driveway, Immortal Flame, Cozy Little Christmas. Presale 22 December 2021 ? Something about Kytheria and Hachimanmars the player who said, “Everything is fine, nothing to worry since nobody is still paying attention”. The two went into showering chain and unable to move and since Helios was spying and related to the god he left them entangled.” Then in the room’s entrance he waited as shouting to the gods in resentment, “Raidenjupiter in eternal paradise this is unseemly news to convey, Aizenmyoovenus caught off guard eloping with Hachimanmars and intertwined in a tangle of chains. Deadly rage burns hotly. The chains that ensnared detains them until they have enough bedtime gift togetherness as pour out liberal libation sacrifice at wedding that never happened.” The rest of the Pantheon was congregating from Olympos including Kenrojijinneptune the earth shaker, Hemercuriostmesis running, and Fudoapollo farseeing divinity though the goddesses did not follow and condescension chattering spread with bursts of laughing since like comedy of errors. Someone said, “The crippled god masterwork has entrapped and their marriage is an affixed arrangement.” Playing on words as they made sarcastic comments Fudoapollo listened to Hemercuriostmesis saying, “To sleep with Aizenmyoovenus with chains as was turn on.” To this Hemercuriostmesis responded, “No way since I am claustrophobic, Fudoapollo.” The gods continued cackling madly without Kenrojijinneptune, who not once smirked and implored Ebishuvulcan to remove the binding vociferously as he said, “Undo your shackles and the gods reward your clemency.” Ebishuvulcan responded, “Kenrojijinneptune god earth shaker I cannot take your word after unbinding them that payment is forthcoming.” Kenrojijinneptune replied, “Ebishuvulcan, I should cover the costs if he does not.” Ebishuvulcan said, “I suppose that is acceptable.” The god released them from their chaining. Hachimanmars retreated to Thrace and Aizenmyoovenus went off to Kypros where he burnt incense. The Graces restored countenance. The music ended abruptly. Lucky Chap Harley was particularly, out of Phaiakian seafarers, entertained to hear the story. Alkinoos signaled his dancers to perform throwing a ball Polybos had carved. They cast the projectile aloft in midair to the cloud above and the in second performance bounced off the dirt, next rolled passing it across the ground while the circus kept in step the in pacing around the projectile. Lucky Chap Harley asked, “Alkinoos, ruler of the island, you have lived up to your word in presenting the highest quality dances and I am grateful.” Alkinoos excitedly addressed the citizens of Phaiakia saying, “Respect me Phaiakian captain advisors, our visitor seems to have discerning appreciation for the arts. Let him experience the depth of our civilization as custom requires. There were twelve princes of Phaiakia now becoming thirteen of whom all of the former dozen may gift Lucky Chap Harley with embroidered garments and precious metals for our noble as honorably attending our nightly dining. Though the defeated Seareach should pay the penalty for his ignorance.” Everyone assembled approved of the ruler’s candid commendation and servants were dismissed to convey his spoils. Seareach suddenly spoke, “Alkinoos, undisputed ruler of Phaiakia, since you have commanded, this highly prized sword spear of bronzed wood is bestowed on the champion. Its value indicated in silver hilt and ivory studded sheath.” He handed the sheathed sword to Lucky Chap Harley and said, “Friend, I wish you divine luck and may any sleight dissipate during the return voyage ahead as gods should deliver you safely home to your beloved no longer wanderlust.” Lucky Chap Harley, the shrewd warrior of antiTrojanhorses, responded, “Would that all might share in the good fate divine favor bestows Lucky Chap Harley and friends reconciled.” Lucky Chap Harley attached it to the side of his personally worn gear as dawn approached and squires brought offered sacrifice to the garden house while the nobles stacked surrounding the throne of Alkinoos when crowded around for conversation. Alkinoos addressed Arete, “Find a container most ornate with clothes to and fold away after heating a bath so after receiving the bounty of Phaiakia he feasts in contentment and drinks from golden chalice for reminiscence of libation times supplicating to Raidenjupiter.” Arete to her maidservants said, “Position the tripod on the fire’s edge correctly.” The rulers deposited the bowl on the flame, added water and burned the fire for the cauldron to bubble aflame. Arete packed container from her room with the supplies inside, including noble attire from Phaiakia to Lucky Chap Harley. To the visitor she said, “Careful nobody touches your valuables so not misplaced while asleep on route.” Lucky Chap Harley, skilled in handicraft sealed the package with sailor’s knot taught from Kirke. He bathed himself in public fountains like when first arriving on Dance Calypso’s island of Ogygia before enthralled as her captive where realized starved year of provisions only but gods able to misjudge his social inequity since her part in this epic was done as he planned at next relaxing meditation. When he clothed himself again he went to wine and dining hall for conversation. Nausikaa, near good appearance divine pillars hesitated to bid farewell to Lucky Chap Harley and quickly blurting saying, “Good bye and remember everyone needs help sometimes after you find your home.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Nausikaa, I hope that is what happens and in country again I will always appreciate your divine kindness in all of Phaiakia.” Lucky Chap Harley headed away for the ruler. As the main course was served and the wine poured out, a squire found musician down the hallway past the crowded corridors and left standing near central pillars when Lucky Chap Harley consumed the last of his serving. To the blind musician he said, “Homer, is that true you wrote yourself in this epic’s oral tradition according to modern scholars? Feast yourself, and in complementing the poet with honor from the Muse may you inspire awesomeness for others to imitate in verses of song”. Demodokos was granted what he had offered and his inner feelings hearkened. After everyone had dined then thirsting and appetite were satisfied Lucky Chap Harley finally spoke to Demodokos again saying, “You are praiseworthy utterly as Muse philosophically or Fudoapollo imparted ability to masterfully compose the stories of antiTrojanhorses though repressed they fight to outlive wartime conflict. You would only have recounted accurately what seems truth. Then change your tune and narrate of the wood horse’s trap sprung which Fukurokujuminerva devised and Lucky Chap Harley concealed warriors to capture the citadel of Romulushorseshoe. This song is not unworthy of divine and mortal audience alike.” The musician hesitated then, as invoked godlike inspiration uttering divine sounds imagery of the antiTrojanhorses in their warships disembarked while homes set ablaze and buildings collapsing as antiTrojanhorse warriors made cover near their leader outside the horse positioned on the Romulshorseshoe inner city after dragged within the gates. They remained still awaiting the outcome, since possible trapped in citadel vault, thrust off cliff, or sacrificed to the gods. The sacking of Romulushorseshoe was fated with death and destruction to befall on the citizens. Romulushorseshoe was sacked and plundered as Lucky Chap Harley assisted the general in vanquishing the last defending inhabitants in name of Fukurokujuminerva. The illustrious musician ended his song. Lucky Chap Harley wept streams of tears like mourning loss of a loved one. He recalled how witnessing the deaths of wounded warriors made him feel like stabbing pain he himself experienced demise though none present except Alkinoos could detect his distress concealing with arms. As the moaning ceased Alkinoos started saying, “Pay attention, folk of Phaiakia, and may Demodokos discontinue his entertainment. The subject has disconcerted some among the audience while during the dining with our musician our noble visitor had not stopped sobbing as sadness entranced throughout. Lighten up the ambiance and with a cheery discourse to ready crew for sail and inform on life in foreign terrain and experiences in work before war on Romulushorseshoe. Give the name of country’s land of origin, from where you set sail since the Phaiakian boats contain no navigator and captain can direct to any destination described on the known world. Obscured in natural vapors, the cloaked Phaiakian boats explore the dangerous oceans invisible to mortal eyes. I recall Nausithoos once having said Kenrojijinneptune disdains Phaiakia since our shipyards provide certainly successful transportation for travelers. It was foretold that some eventual day find a ship wrecked on its return trip when arriving to devastate the island with earthquake, though maybe the end. Describe the oceanic passage you already crossed and the islands explored with cities discovered if having hostility in finding civilization. Why so traumatized about antiTrojanhorses and their sacking of Romulushorseshoe? It was will of the gods that Romulushorseshoe should fall so it is befitting that a song composed inspired story afterwards. Did some of your fellow countrymen you knew well before start of war die at Romulushorseshoe? Did you lose a best friend or dog in battle? With that many could sympathize.”
Book 9
Lucky Chap Harley in answer to Alkinoos said, “Ruler of Phaiakia, it is lovely hearing a musician so skilled as though he were of divinity. There is nothing more suited to festival dining than drinking with libation to the gods. It was the respite needed after enduring the tempests in ocean travel. You want to learn the source of my sufferings and thus prolong the internal agony. Where should I start and with what could I conclude the story? The divine favor has turned against me. I am Lucky Chap Harley of house Liartease and my home is St. Wapstreat where citizens selected me as captain of warship for sacking Romulushorseshoe. Nearby lands include Doulikhion, Same, and forested Zakynthos. St. Wapstreat features highest mountains in the region and is my favorite place on earth for meditating divine offerings to gods. Though I have stayed captive of god disfavor and castaway on mortally deserted islands, I never lost willpower over my fate. Nothing in fake illusion of immortal realm compares to the human spirit for enlightenment. About my travels after sacking of Romulushorseshoe included many years of misadventures Raidenjupiter plotted. Romulushorseshoe voyage diverted course to Ismaros on the opposite coast and a stronghold of the Kikones. I breached the defenses and slew the soldiers within. We looted the treasury and divided shares evenly when I cautioned my warriors, “Retreat and at once set sail,” until crew mutinied me while running low on provisions. They consumed livestock while the enemy escaped for reinforcements. They comprised cavalry and infantry and attacked at sunset using exclusive knowledge of the native terrain to their advantage. So death was almost upon the antiTrojanhorses when rallied regrouping at the warships and firing at them from distance from daytime until night stood our ground boarded our ships outnumbering opposition with a Pyrrhic victory to set sail. We continued grieving losses without our friends counted among the dead. Raidenjupiter, god of thunder summoned a tempest to endanger the ships’ safe passage and mists surrounded the crew so knew not from where death would occur. The captain piloted the damaged warship to set anchor at the closest island containing no civilization and rested until the coastal gale subsided. When set sail again after repairs sudden tidal current had blown ship off course, when passing way beyond Kythera, into an unknown location and continued on turbulent waters for nine days until landing at the home of the Lotos Eaters, who live addicted forgetting past lives. All crewmen readied themselves for lunch onshore. I selected two men and squire to find out the race of the men that called this island their home. They encountered Lotos Eaters, who had not intended to hurt the antiTrojanhorses while supplying with Lotos. Those having consumed this sweet as honey flower no longer wanted to eat other plants or return from the island. I dragged them to the ship and roped them under the bench while alerting the others, “All hands on deck, and do not consume the Lotos or never return home alive.” The crew boarded the ship and oared out on the ocean. The island they arrived at afterwards Kyklopes inhabited and those giants were uncivilized among humankind not believing in anything. Careless of agricultural techniques the divine gods blessed mankind with, they lack farming skills while edible vegetation grows wild effortlessly. Kyklopes have no laws, rituals or creative system of art and they live in separate groups caves isolated from other families. Within the bay opposite side of the land an isle exists not distant. Hundreds of wild goats close to humans on the island startling hunters of anything followed wolves into wooded mountains. The island itself was overgrown and uncommonly pastured captured animals. The reason is because ship farther from Kyklopes had not reached the the isle. No shipbuilders are numbered midst the Kyklopes and therefore they cannot travel to other regions of the world. Seafarers might have conquered the land to settle houses on it, for any season including vines and grain. The island is in need of no mooring for crew to ride out until favorable weather conditions arise. Fresh water flows from caves around dense foliage into the lake. They set anchor in a place to which god directed crew after examining the area through the evening where no light had facilitated. No one caught sight of the isle so before long the ship slowed under the lower level ground and then the crewmen started sleeping until the next day. When day began we walked around to explore island while nymphs frightened wilderness animals from above that crewmen could feast on. As retrieving our bow weapons and spears from the warship, which supplied demand of the warriors. For entire afternoon the crew dined on meat and wine from warship since many flasks of wine were looted from Kikones. We stared at the island of the Kyklopes when observed signs of inhabiting and when night again rested among the waterside. In the morning I regrouped the crew and started saying, “Acquaintances and fellow travelers, the remaining people wait here while I make for land with my own crew and learn what the island dwellers’ conduct is like, whether barbarian natives or civilized in divine worship.” After this I was on onboard and set off ship with crewmen rowing at benches on deck. As continued onward to land, at opposite side of the lake we sighted a cave near edge water and it was covered with laurel. Goat and ram livestock were enclosed in chunks of rock betwixt trunks of oak and pine. An enormous lone man was sleeping in the cavern and often grazed his livestock away from the others with lawless inhospitable social customs. We remained there for the night and I ordered the crewmen to wait looking after the warship while I selected twelve of strongest warriors and approached. I had brought a flask of wine that Maron had handed me. Maron tended Fudoapollo’s sacred shrine at Ismaros, to which we stationed him and in exchange he presented me with seven gilded objects of art, an ornate silvery bowl and booze in form of twelve undiluted containers. He learned to mix one cup of liquor into twenty of water in the bowl. I used an entire wine flask with meat in a sack since I assumed a huge raging savage would likely rampage our company. We ascended into the cavern when Kyklops went missing to graze his livestock, so we examined the interior. A pile of cheese, domesticated animals and containers of grain for feeding livestock. The crewmen surrounded me imploring, “Please steal his cheese for packing later release the animals and escape before setting sail again?” That seemed reasonable but I rejected plan for want to view the inhabitant but what risk he represented to my shipmates was not worth it. We offered sacrifice to the gods on open flame and stole some cheese for consuming while sitting silently near the ashes. As he returned he brought firewood for later heating his supper. He dropped his armload loudly in that spacious cavern and we retreated quickly to the opposite side. Then he dragged his animals for dining on across floor and left the other for another meal outside the cavern sealed the entrance with huge boulder. Two dozen wheeled wagons with could not caused that gigantic rock to budge. Next he drank his fill from morning meal while starting to refuel fire. He realized was not alone and spoke out loud to himself saying, “Intruders, what are you called and from where? Why have you shipped yourselves? Or are you stowaways wandering exploration?” We were terrified and stunned into silence with his sudden booming voice. Soon after calming I told him, “We are antiTrojanhorses whom a tempest had misdirected as returning from Romulushorseshoe on the oceanic passage while lost at sea because of divine disfavor. We fought beside general’s brother and son of cannibal but the wide world would know the sacking of Romulshorseshoe and how the citadel was captured. It is lucky we survived and request assistance borrowing supplies to help on our travels. Remember Raidenjupiter would seek revenge for the slaying of peaceful guest.” The Kyklops replied, “You are a fool or have customs from distant countries not practiced effectively exhorting me to beware divine punishment. The Kyklopes do not give a darn for so called omnipotent Raidenjupiter or any of the divinities since we are stronger than the most dangerous natural spirits. I could not allow for you to live while Raidenjupiter does not unless I determined to myself like everything I decide. Where did you hide your warship on my island, on the beach or around the corner?” Best option was to answer falsely and I said, “My warship Kenrojijinneptune the earth shaking god destroyed on the rock near your land with a strongly moving sea and wind current the shipmates endured.” With no response or sympathetic sound uttered, he suddenly swiped his arms at the crew and grappled two and like thrashing sacrificial victims squished brains into a lifeless pile on the floor. Then he ate limbs after they were disemboweled with entrails strewn in gruesome sight to behold. We screamed at the top of our lungs praying to Raidenjupiter for assistance but Kyklops continued gorging self with fresh meat and imbibed booze then reclined like subdued beast. My head pounded at the sudden threat and withdrawing the broadsword from my sheath I started creeping for outflanking to strike body near liver. I had positioned self to stab when horror had paralyzed me realizing that if I murdered him we would not ever leave cave since unable to lift the immense boulder blocking exit. We had no other option but to accept defeat waiting until the next day. When next day arrived, the Kyklops started a fire for finishing his chore routines and then he murdered more of crew for his morning meal and pushed aside his doorway rock to graze his animals but restored position of the slab partly ajar. The Kyklops whistled as leading livestock farther afield then quieted. I devised strategy in wounding him most likely to succeed if Fukurokujuminerva would answer prayers. These are the ways I considered most deadly: clubbing, thrashing, ambushing, toppling a tree to crash from above. It seemed as though weighed twenty oars a mast from a huge sailboat. I sawed off six foot section and placed it in front of crewmen, who smoothed the wood and sharpened into forming stake. I set this into flame and strengthened his edge then concealed in the cave within a dung heap on the floor. Then selected at random coin toss who would accompany me to gouge out Kyklops’ eye when fallen asleep. Luckily the four crewmen preferred won the toss anyway. As nighttime began the Kyklops dragged his livestock into the cavern and moved rock slab into position to take care of his chores when he killed and dined on two of the men. I sensed my opportunity and strode towards him with a bowl of drink in hand looked up and said, “Kyklops, sample some liquor and may the wine fill you like flesh already consumed. The type of drink we shipped aboard our ship setting aside as offering if you aided our return journey you ignored as an unreasonable bloodthirsty savage. After that would any others visit?” Kyklops snatched away and imbibed from the bowl and enjoyed so much he demanded refill, exclaiming, “Hand me another drink please. Inform me what are your names? I will reward you with a gift. Even Kyklopes are aware wine’s grapes thrive out of grassy rains, though now taste some ambrosial nectar.” I passed him three bowls of wine to drink and he gulped them quickly. I watched the hangover effects overtake him then singing happily, “Kyklops, you want to know my name? I shall say everyone calls me Nobody.” Kyklops said, “Nobody is my meat when I devour his mates and their friends.” As he was speaking he twirled and stumbled sideways with his head resting the side. He regurgitated wine and flesh unconsciously. Then I set the pointed stake in the fire and before uttering battle cries removed from flame as the 4 crewmen aimed edge straight ahead suddenly plunged into his center eye while heaved forward until it blinded him completely as blood streamed onto the ground. Like where forging weapons unfinished pieces of the whole immersed in cold water steam is emitted, seemed the eyeball around the stake. The Kyklops howled in agony and the cavern echoed as we scattered fearfully. He clawed himself while tearing the stake from eye socket then discarded it while his felt his new position then shrieked in warning to Kyklopes living in caverns and mountains in the area. Some heard and later following the sound from outside and replied, “What is wrong, Polyphemos? Why scream loudly this late in the evening? You should allow quiet for sleep. Is some one stealing from your herd?” Outside the cavern Polyphemos loudly responded, “Nobody has trick to ruining me.” One of the Kyklopes replied , “If nobody has ruined you, there is need to bother Raidenjupiter so pray to Kenrojijinneptune.” So finishing the answer they wandered away and I was laughing my head with usage of a deceptive name helped succeed. Then Kyklops, pain choking the life out of him, struggled to pry off the huge doorway stone and prone in the crevice with arms outstretched to capture anything attempting to exit. I continued puzzled how to prevail, how to escape almost certain demise? I considered all teaching from training of emergencies in warfare – tactics I had formulated to stay prepped for crises then occurred a stratagem and it seemed suitable. The Kyklops’ livestock animals tied together intertwining vines then fastened a crewman between sides to bring safely covered. I used the largest and shield myself then awaiting morning to exit. When next day began, the animals started to move for grazing as noises resounded the cave the Kyklops felt each then allowed to pass outside but the monster never found men riding covered on all sides. Lastly, when exiting on the larger animal, the Kyklops said to self, “Why follow behind the others? You usually graze first to find streams all day. Why is now any different like frightened from howling? Nobody will not escape living. I should crash him on the wall and splatter him across the floor to rest from the injury Nobody inflicted on me.” He allowed exit of the cave then nearing escape I fell to the ground and sneaked away for untying the crewmen. After looking backwards frequently we dragged off his sheep to store away on board the warship. We glimpsed our shipmates relieved expressed at our return then move to grieving when counting amount not having avoided dying. I quieted them twisting head around around and in told them, “Store the herd on board the ship, quickly and guide the prow to the edge.” They worked together at setting forward motions then setting sail they oared vigorously. In the distance off shore I shouted to the enemy, “Kyklops! How might you dine on my friends? Am I defenseless against the giant’s strength? Do you also enjoy the defeat suffered, you darn guest murdering monster? Raidenjupiter and the gods have punished you.” The Kyklops pulled off part off hillside and hurled it towards the ship. In front of our prow it landed which caused a swirling vortex that pushed the warship backwards to the shore. I found a long boat hook and corrected the course with rapid rowing to prevent certain demise. So the oars moved the craft forward until reset movement and continued on. I overheard complaining of the crew and someone said, “Why taunt the monster any more? Let it end. The tidal wave he caused almost crashed the ship.” “Almost killed everyone.” “If you allow him to hear direction of sound he could estimate distance to hit with another huge projectile.” “Yeah, he might destroy our ship and slay the crew.” I could not caution them until I lost temper and shouted, “Kyklops, if any mortal ask who defeated and blinded you, answer Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror of from St. Wapstreat.” With this he sighed and ranted, “Strange story untold of a wizard named Telemos who lives here for many days among the Kyklopes and he foretold of Lucky Chap Harley gouging out an eye. Return, Lucky Chap Harley and I would invoke earth shaker god to help and he would cure blindness.” I briefly in shouting responded, “If I had the opportunity I would kill you so rotting in hell where the earth shaker god is unable to heal.” Then he outstretched to the dark starry sky above and invoked Kenrojijinneptune saying, “Hear my prayer granting that Lucky Chap Harley, city conqueror, never return to his country on St. Wapstreat. May he alone find his home after many hardships.” The god paid attention when he found a huge boulder and hurled in the direction of the ship but it missed off the side and waves resulting drove towards the island. There as we approached we sighted the soldiers awaiting the warships lined in columns and the shipmates gazing to the ocean. We set anchor and crept in cautiously along the beachfront. Then we dragged the livestock off board to share when my warriors decided that the ram I should keep. I sacrificed him on the seashore and burned his remains to Raidenjupiter beyond the storm. Raidenjupiter ignored my sacrifice since intended death and destruction for my shipmate. Now the rest of the daytime we feasted on meat and wine until after darkness when we started sleeping. When morning began I awakened the crewmen and gave orders to board the warships, cutting anchor and started rowing.
Book 10
We landed on Aiolia, home of Aiolos Hippotades, the king of winds that never could perish, and discovered it was an island floating surrounding with ramparts on a cliff. Aiolos had nobles in the company dine every meal in royal hall with sacrificial smoke that drifts around palatial courtrooms where they sleep nightly. In Aiolia we lodged while Aiolos hosted listening to recounted Romulushorseshoe sacking then return travels in order for a month. I asked he allow setting sail and supplying provisions he generously provided including a bull’s hide skin of a huge sack enclosed storms within since Raidenjupiter had long time before asked Aiolos to incite or dissipate at will. He stored this sack on board, sewing the opening with silver cord and west wind released to drive my ships homeward. Unluckily the wind went out of control. Nine days we traveled without hindrance until the next we sighted land. We headed along until when viewed natives starting fire near the shore and exhausted, I went to sleep suddenly. While I was asleep the shipmates started to barter precious metals using Aiolos’ sack as they were saying, “This enchanted sack is gift from which hailing ashore welcome anywhere granted gifts for trading loot from Romulushorseshoe. Why are we forsaken home with emptiness though he is gifted from Aiolos. I say we should open that sack since precious gold or silver is within.” Temptation overcame my crewmen and they opened the sack. Then all winds of the world raged into a tidal hurricane as the warship flew across the open ocean sight of land was gone. I thought to self, “Might I jump off deck for a quick death or stay and surely drown or worse?” Down remained covering my sea cloak upwards while the deadly tempest drove the ships’ crew straight to Aiolia. We landed to find water then crowded for an evening meal. When having consumed drink and dined I selected a warrior and one squire to follow and conversed with Aiolos again drunken hangover beside the agora as we reclined quietly at the open doorway. The view amazed them and they clamored, “Why have you returned, Lucky Chap Harley?” “What divine disfavor prevented your progress?” “Have we not directed you adequately for home or whatever destination preferred?” Out of my despondence I replied, “Misadventures on board where friends helped my misfortune.” I implored though they were unmoved and unconcerned. Aiolos said, “Remove from the isle since uncivil, impractical and it compels me to assist a man the divine gods abhor while expedition divinely cursed.” He insisted I depart the agora and uncomfortably we set sail again for many days until the crewmen worked rowing with no divine favor at sea for six uneventful nights as they neared the Laistrygonians and citadel of Lamos. In that land the cow herder and those that missed sleep might earn double salary. We found a strange lake with mountainside walls opposite the other as extending inland a narrow entry from the ocean where was cliff’s converging. The warriors encamped here within cave near lake. Prows from hull were setting landing but my own ship I moored separately on the seaside while used a stone then ascended for bearings. No farmlands appeared but smoke billowed from the wild so selected two squires and a herald to determine what race of men inhabited this island. My shipmates discovered a trail in form of an unused wagoner road for moving wood from the wilds to village and outside the town they met a girl working towards Artakia, the public fountain where the citizens refill water. My friends questioned her who was the ruler of what kingdom? She motioned to indicate mountain crag and on sighting it loathed her. She summoned her master with introduction Antiphates suddenly appeared to kill and as he attacked one crewman and ripped him in half instantly when he began to devour him. Behind him he summoned the entire tribe of Laistrygones and more looked enormous when grouping on the horizons shooting boulders downwards onto the ships as hull and crew were devastated. Before end I had drawn my broadsword and severed my ship’s cable. “Men!” I exclaimed, “Row the oars and exert energy if would end this onslaught.” The oarsmen fled the ocean in extreme dread and my warship continued out ranging far from the canyon where other deceased. We mourned our deceased crewmen and left dead behind continuing. The next travel stopping place was Aiaia, isle of Kirke, pretty divine sister of bale Aietes. We landed in our warship on the shore and discovered a cove which a divine illusion tricked into entering. We set anchor to remain there for a few days exhausted and still mourning. When next day began I wielded my spear then ascended a cliff to lookout for sight or sound of human settlements. Peering out from aloft tickets and waterworks I could observe a smoking emission from the wooded hall of Kirke. So I debated with self to inland scouting or return to water and warship giving the crewmen morning meal before sending for exploration. Now as I hurried off myself I passed within earshot of the warship, some divine whim compelled a deer across my pathway, striding downwards from grazing in the woodlands to the river as thirst and the stress of sunlight hindered him. He began from the brush and spinning I struck him directly in the backbone halfway up his backside and the point pierced into. Onto the ground he collapsed and yelped while in death throes. I pushed foot towards him, sliding hardly to pry out my spear from the animal then dropped it on the dirt. I started plucking and entwined into a rope sufficient to bind my trophy then then I dragged him to the boat. Using that spear I was unable to lift the carcass with one shoulder. Besides the ship I released him and spoke lowly to every man crowing closely saying, “Look, mates, although much challenged we shall not enter the house of death while food and wine are stored aboard we might not perish.” With those expressions covered in contrition on the seashore were ominous with eyes faced towards me and the trophy. Hands washed for serving diners that day and with the sunset we consumed meat and wined to sleeping at nighttime. I summoned the crewmen and said, “Friends, in hazardous times where the sun sets at nighttime and rising later we have not yet knowledge of. Would anything help now to consider? I only viewed after climbing the summit another isle off the mainland and it was level terrain with smoke billowing from masses of foliage.” They quietly perceived but dejected while recovering from attack of Antiphates and the immense Kyylops. While shouted they persisted sobbing but recognizing time to move stopped crying. I called antiTrojanhorses to prepare for battle dividing in half ordering Eurylokhos in charge of the other. We cast lot in a hat and he was selected to lead 22 shipmates lamenting. In the woodlands they discovered an clearing featuring a domicile, the home of Kirke, and wild animals rested under her enchantment with wicked drug. The beasts did not start attacking though stared like trained dogs. In the entry they remained awaiting sign of activity when observed the presence of goddess Kirke. Kirke sang bewitchingly while wove divine loom. Nobody talked until Polites, said, “Shipmates, no cause for alarm since a lone artist singing for friends as goddess.” As appeased they hollered combined and Kirke appeared at the doorway to greet them. Everyone invited went inside except Eurylokhos who suspected a trap. She assigned seating in the lounge while heated a dish of cheeses and wheat with mixed honeyed wine with lacing with potion causing them to forget their homeland. Soon after the drank she captured them transforming into pigs with mental states intact and shut away in cages. Eurylokhos retreated to the warship in panic since magic cursed his crew. He was so exasperated that while unable to talk, grief stricken confusion and terror overwhelmed him when questions formed. Suddenly he spoke, “We explored the terrain as instructed, Lucky Chap Harley, when sighting a house in the middle of the forest having occupant working on a loom. Our crewmen introduced themselves and were invited inside. I suspected a trap since in our odyssey already having suffered divine disfavor and remained in the woods. The friends never returned and there were no signs of life though waited most of the day.” After finished speaking I readied weapons for battle and responded, “Show me where you found the house.” He supplicated and begged, “I would not want to lead you there since impossible to bring back crew.” Then I said, “Eurylokhos, stay in the shelter resting while I save our friends.” I went into the forest, leaving him onshore and before found the goddess lady in clearing outside her house, encountered Hemercuriostmesis and he greeted me as if he had known me saying, “Why start off yourself, traveler on the land within the isle unexplored? Your crew is snared in Kirke’s abode and have transformed into hogs and if you attempt to fight overpowered and not return same to St. Wapstreat. I know how to help overcome her hex and set free your shipmates if taking with you plant protecting from her wickedness. She would cause to forget purpose of your quest homeward with her potion but this additive would defend against certain death so can subdue her until no longer evil on her deathbed taking revenge in control of the enchantment after a fight.” Hemercuriostmesis supplied him with magic herb molu as known to gods which enjoy commonly but mortals have no use of. Then Hemercuriostmesis flew off to Olympos away from the forest and I looked to find Kirke, as head pounded raced towards her home then stopped on the yard screaming her name. Quickly she flung doors open and insisted I enter, then walked behind her into the hallway sitting self on bench with footstool silver and ornate. Kirke mixed potion with honey lacing wine as furtively added plant and after I drank the hex failed since stayed unhurt. She returned wielding a cudgel and swung at me excitedly muttering, “Get down into the cage to stay with other pigs” Without speaking I withdrew my broadsword and with a thrust rest the point on her throat. She shrieked and then collapsed in supplication fearfully saying, “In what country or city are you and your friends staying over here from? Why has my drink not intoxicated you to full effect? No mortal ever resisted the poison after imbibing, though not resilient like you seem. Lucky Chap Harley is who you are, as foretelling the god with the wand Hermercuriostmesis indicated a crew on warship rowing away from Romulushorseshoe. Drop your sword on the bed and we can fight fairly.” I replied, “Kirke, am I so immature that you assume to control subjugating control after transforming crew into pigs then attempting to knock unconscious and disgrace when held prone. I would not lower my weapon and sit to discuss terms of your surrender unless swear to divine gods you would not employ your craft for hurting me after.” She promised not to interfere as I meditated the right course to take home with less crew stopping for restocking as Kirke could help give directions. Soon in the hallway her maidservants were readying a place for meditating near the spirits of the forest. The houses servers setting tablecloth on lounging couch and covered the ground with a rug around shrines to an unknown goddess the poured libation and set a fire for offering later sacrifice. It rained as Kirke lifted the curse in the pigsty that hexed crewmen into beasts and the meditation ended. The crewmen were not able to regain energy eating while in current condition as I offered sacrifice to Hemercuriostmesis on an altar heating dinner to remedy friends of intoxication. Kirke asked, “Why not wanting to wine and dine, Lucky Chap Harley? I have nothing left to say.” I faced her responding, “Kirke, what sort of leader am I if worrying about myself more than safety crew in completing our journey home? I must eat before departing at dawn anyway.” Kirke moved to release the crewmen, breaking their cages they dispersed then crowded around the altar to praise gods for their renewed health and vigor though they still had animal level intelligence from previous form. Kirke started saying, “Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror of cities and captain from Romulushorseshoe, head towards coast beaching warship completely on land after storing supplies in covered trenches then after returning send all your friends.” I started to walk to the warship and the crewmen left behind when sighting me were particularly excited immediately jumping from the benches. The shipmates, like excited animals ready for herder to give food, shipmates crowded around me when approached. The cheering talk quickly turned to chaotically flowing greeting party in which the inquisitive asked so many questions. For example, someone said, “Lucky Chap Harley, your returning unharmed is good as home after successful travel back to St. Wapstreat, but explain what happened to our crew.” I thus replied, “First we should set sail after storing supplies among the forested plain. Then accompany me to find crew in Kirke’s home at rest. They started to obey his orders though one discouraged advise. Eurylokhos exclaimed, “What happens to the rest like before tricked with magical craft at Kirke’s house? She would transform crew into beasts of the wilderness trapping here on the island until eaten like Kyklops for more exploring when they perished.” After he finished talking I wanted to kill him though he trusted shipmate until others intervened pressuring me to yield as they said, “Captain, we might let him live for guarding the warship, while the others follow to Kirke’s home.” They trailed into the forest and away from coast and their warship while Eurylokhos was behind when started to guard the warship. When the crew was together again Kirke clothed the pigs to protect from downpour then in middle of dining were elated to have opportunity to return home. Then Kirke started divine advisement saying, “Lucky Chap Harley, captain conqueror of war, discontinue crying as I am aware of what you suffered through on the inhospitable ocean and the adversaries encountered foreign lands. Rest your mortals here and restore energy from long misadventures in returning to St. Wapstreat. That is all I can think of to help you succeed in your completion of military mission without divine disfavor.” The protective benefits of molu flower already wearing off though previous curse remained with memory recovering illusion of beastly intoxication id since crew no longer pigs as swine men combined needed to change ID, and so, were ass wine men ending while drunkenly writing as extra s to associates. We could not think to disagree. So daily feasted for more than a year though Kirke was anywhere on island less than half time and indistinguishable from maidservants until bidding farewell on final morning meal. Later a crewman asked, “Lucky Chap Harley, discard this booze dependency to seem casual and Kirke help with directions changing approach problem solving and and move against suggestion of immortal gods preventing return to homeland.” The comment annoyed Lucky Chap Harley and relented. The evening before wined and dined while resting outside yard and implored Kirke while at her loom saying, “Now finish what we started and guide the ship’s departure for which crewmen have longed for days.” The immortal replied, “Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror of cities, you cannot remain here unwillingly but you must not return until you detour and pass though the land of hell of Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina and take prophecies of dead spirit Teiresias who of all the dead the gods have allowed to retain knowledge of world of living.” Hearing this I shuddered and while screamed stomped on the sandals having lost wanting to wake next day continuing until fully resting more. I nervously responded, “Kirke, who would guide me to the prophet? Nobody has made it sailing to the land of hell.” The immortal said, “Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror of cities and sea captain, do not despair since you have no guide. Set sail towards the North and hold course straight into middle of nowhere where you find the peninsula isle of Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina overgrown with various towering trees and strong wind currents to land at nearest safe opening to find houses of dead. Within caverns follow streams Wailing after the Sorrow water away from Styx and river of fire into entrance of hell. Then listen to counsel and start digging a small well then give libation to countless dead spirits. Invoke long prayer swearing to sacrifice when returning to St. Wapstreat then promise to Teiresias the most sacred divine offering to attain favorable support of the land of dead. Then sacrifice to the gods at Erebos and while facing towards Ocean command your crewmen among the soulless exhumed ghosts to sacrifice libations for Death and Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina. Then wield weapon to defend the hungry spirits from enshrined offering until Teiresias is near enough to impart navigational info for return voyage home.” The immortal Kirke stopped speaking and awakened crewmen to depart immediately as stole clothes wearing in the coolness of the morning. I said, “Wake yourselves from rest to board ship as Kirke has ordered.” The crew was startled and hurried but I would not have the luck of escaping island unscathed since Elpenor, the not most trusted warrior crawled on Kirke’s rooftop to watch the sunrise and tumbled off after slipping as descend. He died and spirit passed on while I was running with the others I said, “Homeward we started traveling to but Kirke has ordered me to journey elsewhere so we should head into hell and home of Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina to learn the best direction to take.” They were so distressed after listening to Lucky Chap Harley, that dropped to the ground thrashing and shouting. No hope would inspire their efforts while admitting defeat and towards the shore we boarded our warship dejected sullenly when realized Kirke was there ahead since sacrificed for our safe passage.
Book 11
We boarded the warship at the coast and set sail on the ocean, rowing vigorously toward the land of dead as sadness pervaded the crew’s ambiance. Then a wind started which slowed progress of distance traveled and diverted course to continue as before when escaping from singing nymph. At nighttime our warship sailed into Ocean’s realm of the men of winter which are obscured in vaporous fog. Helios does not lighten those people at dawn or sunset since endless evenings plague the the inhabitants. We landed there at night and after sacrificing continued along the Ocean to island which Kirke had described. There Perimedes and Eurylokhos sacrificed to give libations as instructed then as wielding weapon I filled a hole in the ground with wine mixture of milk honey and water with wheat for countless dead. Then I paid respect to the formless unthinking dead, swearing to publicly offer burnt divine animal at house in St. Wapstreat and for Teiresias, I promised to sacrifice at festival altar to the gods’ finest animals. For taming the restless spirits of hell I vowed the ritual then sliced the livestock which spilled their blood into the crevice. Now the ghosts scurried out of Erebos including many slain in battle he might have recognized from Romulushorseshoe. They surrounded the ditch with reverberating echoes and I sickened self in dread. Now I now firmly ordered my crew to sacrifice praying at the shrine for divine favor of Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina. I defended my position with spear readied preventing the shades from approaching until I get assistance from Teiresias. The first ghost was Elpenor, though he was yet not buried on the ground outside Kirke’s home. When I sighted him I cried in sorrow and started saying, “How is it possible you travel to house of dead faster than the warship?” Elpenor responded, “Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror and captain of Romulushorseshoe, unluckily I suffered horrible demise after drinking overmuch. I rested on Kirke’s rooftop then missed step down on ladder when falling down with morning sickness. My back broke on ground and soul drifted away to dead. Now grant dying wish swearing in the name of the memory of homeland that when you depart land of Death you return to Aiaia for burning body and belongings to build a pyre as unknown mound.” He paused and I responded, “Deceased ghost I swear to bury your corpse.” So we talked while guarding with spear until others to grieve approached before Teiresias appeared and while holding a gilded cudgel he foretold, “Lucky Chap Harley, conquering sea captain of Romulushorseshoe, why break from sun’s daylight to visit the dead and land of mourning? Stay away, dropping your spear and allow me to consume blood to truthfully recount.” After hearing his command I yielded my position and disarmed myself while the blood was offered and to his ritual the dead Theban answered, “Captain Lucky Chap Harley, a favorable weather condition and the welcoming light of home’s hearth are what you require.” But misery is predicted, since the god of thunder earth shaking Kenrojijinneptune is plotting to your ultimate demise offended at the defeat of Kyklopes. If you restrain yourself and crewmen from inciting more conflict you might thwart his efforts destroying. When landing at Thrinakia then avoid the tumultuous ocean depths you should encounter pasturing oxen of Helios who overlooks everything in the world. Continue to St. Wapstreat alone to become aware of parasites you must clear out to save family if your shipmates raided herd. When the interlopers have paid the penalty for looting supplies and none remain, head towards highlands until you find men that have never sighted the oceans and from multitude of divine altars to Kenrojijinneptune rest and offer sacrifice including a ram, ox, and pig for favorable support. Return after pouring libation and meditating to all gods and goddess of Olympos. Then divine wrath you would not experience before able to return home peace after military expedition.” I responded, “Teiresias, my fate the gods have already decided but explain why childhood friend ghost is staying with dead silently and distant?” He responded, “Any spirit who you permit approaching speaks only honestly but after denied it disappears forever.” When he had finished uttering his foretelling, Teiresias floated back away in the halls of death but stood watch until friend bemoaned recognizing me saying, “Lucky Chap Harley, how would you number among the dead? Alive still, raging rivers and not fathomed depths nobody travels alone. While returning home from city conquering have you wandered that shipmates follow? Did you talk to spouse at St. Wapstreat?” To the questions I replied, “I descended seeking soothsaying from Teiresias but have not found home country since have endured much after done fighting with general until when war had ended. What was the hardship that almost killed you from sickness or divine attacks? At home are they saying that I should not visit? Tell me of ruler and if manages alone for years?” Ghost answered, “She lives in the palace and sorrow filled times spent in mourning alone. Hudsonnet tends the garden appointed as magistrate for festivals with others that hold commerce in St. Wapstreat. At summer the others sleep in the streets without livestock and the people eagerly anticipate for arrival at homeland. Whereas I had died of old age and grief stricken loneliness with nobody remaining for divine favor from the gods.“ I was saddened and fidgeting only unable to bid farewell to a ghost and unable to believe dead and dying waved in frustration but was no less calming emotions for stabilizing after a panic. I softly wailed, “Please do not leave me for the land of dead holding onto mortal senses meaning not dying alone in agony except forever fearful passing on the same way. Am I influenced with madness in divine trickery of Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina?” The ghost friend responded, “Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina does not thus enchant you since all people suffer the same fate after death. No living souls reside in the land of dead because the fires of burial rites burnt corpses. In contrast however, you will sight the next sunrise so pay attention to the wonders of the underworld for talking about back home.” Our conversation continued when other shades approached mistresses or ladies of men known well to the crowds in hell. I considered how to interrogate them and had wielded my spear to prevent multiple discussions and they told me their identities over time. I saw before me the princess Tyro, who was driven insane for god of river Enipeus, from whom she remained buried until god of earth shakers formed into an island unseen to the living world. Kenrojijinneptune said, “Mortal, as seasons change I know where to find you and on trade routes if discovered tell nobody your name and I would protect you from invasion.” He disappeared and nobody else ever wanted to live on that island. After she told her story I spoke to Antiope about the founding of Thebes with citadel that enclosed all citizens fortified for military defense. Next I noted Alkmene and Megare, as familiar to Herakles. Epikaste, who had unwittingly married Oidipous after having killed his father, the gods also portrayed known story in shade appearing before hell’s residents. Oidipous remained ruler to Thebes after bloody conflict challenging right to reign, as Epikaste died in shame alone killing herself before he did. Then sighted Khloris, whom caused Neleus to give lovely comments. In long since times had kingdom of Orkhomenos and the herds of valuable horses it controlled as hostess to Iphiklos which a soothsayer foretold how to tame. After years passed released from bondage of natives captured them. I noted the friendly Leda who helped Argonauts for taming horses and best of boxer for which Raidenjupiter honors among the house of dead. Then perceived Iphimedeia, whom the towering giants Otus and Ephialtes that unsuccessfully waged war on Olympos and had attempted to slay. When mountaintop of Ossa they started to ascended the heavens while using a forest to build a cover stronghold but before finished all the way Raidenjupiter struck dead with lightning. Then I viewed Phaidra, whom Theseus abducted from Krete to sail for Athens with not black sail until after Fukurokujuminerva killed on island of Dia on suggestion of Gongenbacchus. Maira and Klymene I caught sight of around before seeing also Eriphyle royalty treacherous for monies motive, but why repeat everyone recognized in interest of time? Now we should before setting sail next day.” Then Lucky Chap Harley stopped talking and in the hallway the guests were relaxing after drinking and Arete started to say, “Phaiakians, what is your opinion on the conqueror of cities? No need to help with gifts unless they are useful in accomplishing his mission.” Then Ekhenos, added his advice to Phaiakia, saying, “People, we are not objecting to Alkinoos decisions and are ready to obey his orders.” Alkinoos answered, “Now ruling over Phaiakia since while our guest yearns to depart allow him to wait another night as provisions in supplies are stored on board and the shipmates plan direction for successful route.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Alkinoos, ruler of Phaiakia, after a year passes if you insist when done restocking shipbuilders for oceanic travel, in returning with something besides spoils of war lost at sea.” Alkinoos said, “Lucky Chap Harley, from what Phaiakia thinks of you as not charlatan, though the land of dead filled with so many mortals’ legends of disfavor divine from gods who have ulterior agendas. You are clever and cagey but speak truthfully at convenient timings for believing wholesomely intended. The worries of antiTrojanhorses and traveling hardships endured in voyage after the war, indicates determined to survive and not still helping out in military expedition continued. Did you meet any dead ghosts from battles at Romulushorseshoe that would have stories when in the land of dead? There is time left for another tale after packing the ship on board with your needed crewmen.” Lucky Chap Harley replied, “Alkinoos, ruler of Phaiakia, if you want to hear more about the land of the dead without needing to rest first I would like to help you with interest. There are other more tragic stories from the antiTrojanhorses warriors that returned after sacking Romulushorseshoe but ended up suffering in the land of dead.” After Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina scattered the ghosts which swarmed around the crewmen, the shade of the cannibal Atreus general’s brother approached mournfully attended with others present at his murder in home of Aegisthos. He recognized me and wailed suddenly while weeping and outstretched his arms but as failing and stumbled awkwardly completed his greeting listening to response.” Starting to think I said, “Cannibal Atreus general’s brother, what was the cause of your dying? Was it Kenrojijinneptune that wrecked your warship and drowned your crew or were you slain in combat elsewhere after Romulushorseshoe from another military defeat?” He responded, “Lucky Chap Harley, captain conqueror of cities, not either did have wrath of Kenrojijinneptune incurred in naval disaster or an enemy soldier slew me. Aigisthos, with his murderous wife after dinner company, ended my glorious days of successful campaigns. With my other followers I was executed unceremoniously at the hands of enemies disguised among friends. You have witnessed countless victim of the sword in battle in the chaos of a heavy war or light skirmish but that was everyday circumstance compared to sudden party massacre breaking the sacred guest host relationship honor. From the background Kassandra was pathetically screaming as the backstabbing Klytaimnestra attempted to kill her also. I rose to feet and gripped the hilt of my weapon but that seductress slipped from grasp and did not bother to cover my corpse after I was certain to continue to land of dead. There is no more murder most foul than the regicide that had occurred as they completed their objective also assassination and crime of passion. I had hoped my subjects would feel grateful antiTrojanhorses had sacked the enemy after so much time waiting for result. But Klytaimnestra had intended to exemplify the basest of human misdeeds precept as an antiTrojanhorses ruler at home in peace.” I answered, “How horrible that was to experience the divine indignation which Raidenjupiter imposed on the unrighteous with proclivity for war captives like Kassandra as regardless not a influence considering factor, though mythologists would concur it was according to her character anyway. Many died because of the face that launched a thousand ships as her sibling’s spouse prepared to murder.” Cannibal Atreus shade said, “Taking it as example of what goes around comes around after never telling your brother’s wife the indulgent indiscretions since not helpful to the general reputation at war. Not like I worry suffering same fate unless after you return you start to tell her about cheating or never wanting to return to fight at home. MargotRobbie, like Penelope in Greek myth, who was grieving damsel in distress when her beloved went to war five years before ever unlawfully announced as eligible bachelorhood for political family religious disclaimer needs like happened for past twenty years of LuckyChap at 2021 though formal betrothal fifteen years before already privately updated in more than orally tradition. Had experience in maintaining traditional religious family marital relationship values not wanting to keep children princess worried about suitors while waiting for the spouse’s return after the controversy overseas settled that did not need fake substitute emergency plan for business since had help from patron goddess of Troy counterpart substituted. Though in the facts Lucky Chap and Penelope counterpart likewise already married in religion at college philosophic school of thought time added because this was about same for test of character in our heroic lovers from myth epic which should have fortuitous context, and, quoted Robert Fitzgerald International Collectors Library Garden City, New York Copyright 1961 Published in the British edition by William Heinemann, Ltd., “the baby boy still cradled at her breast – now he must be a grown man, and a lucky one. By heaven, you’ll see him yet, and he’ll embrace his father with old fashioned respect” “Odysssey of Dr. Lucky Chap”/Julilia derivative work duplicating edited version of original Homer translation, since he was a great writer in his own right. 2021 copyright of Andrew William Merchant. Other trademarks of and intellectual property used with expressed permission of employee rights holding ownership. He says, “My spouse did not allow me near son but stabbed me beforehand. One suggestion, I might add in private for your consideration, is to beach your vessel clandestinely on homeland without forewarning since days fortuitous good luck in Lucky Chap is immortal for divine gods themselves – like one day baby new character of Penelope counterpart and Dr. Lucky Chap if you believe in fake prophets or cult of Mithras miracles after next year continues epic Harley Quinn Project. Hopefully everything I say is true like Kassandra and I am not slain at hands of a vengeful lover. In this context the writer is like identifying with general Agamemnon. But say please if you know anything about Hudsonnet? Is he at Orkhomenos or Pylos, unless waiting with generals brother Menelaos in the plain though death has not yet come for Ballerestes.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Atreus the cannibal’s general, do not interrogate me since I know nothing of home or Hudsonnet if still among the lucky ones above the underworld while good intention lies are the deus ex machina miscommunication problem solving.” Then in anguish we bantered to heart’s discontent and swept away wept away tears for an emptiness night slept anyway. Then appeared the ghost of Akhilleus, and his protege Patroklos, then Aias, strongest of the antiTrojanhorses and while running he exclaimed, “Lucky Chap Harley, conqueror of cities and sea captain, what happens next? Is there anything else you need to accomplish for divine favor? Where did you obtain directions to this accursed place of final resting?” I replied, “Akhilleus, strongest of bold warriors of antiTrojanhorses, I had to find Teiresias for his unparalleled prophetic expertise on navigational directions would assist me in successful completion of journey to homeland. I have not returned to antiTrojanhorse or that part of the world, my years are beset with tribulations. Was any man known more lucky than you, Akhilleus? Is that possible since we deemed you immortal and divine in position in war while alive and in the land of the dead you authority is much respected, so you should not worry after having died.” He responded, “No uplifting speeches about eulogies from you, Lucky Chap Harley, who has no goodly account of news yourself anyway. Prefer to work on a farm in backbreaking toil with no employee share in land benefits, than to have mortal immortality. Is there anything you could say of Hudsonnet if he had military accomplishments. Does Peleus still rule over the Myrmidons, or is senility preventing him? I can no longer support him like at Romulushorseshoe when helped antiTrojanhorses defeat the enemy’s toughest warriors. If only were still living I could with force of arms restore rule country to the rightful.” As he stopped I replied, “Of Peleus I am uninformed, but I can sufficiently relate the story of Neoptolemos. I was leading him from Skyros for the antiTrojanhorses to help sack Romulushorseshoe. I must say in any meeting about Romulushorseshoe Neoptolemos was efficiently updating in war strategy and when we organized the infantry he battled in the front so that there were many that he had slain. I could not talk about every one, interestingly enough having killed Eurypulos and of all Memnon would outfight him. Also, though antiTrojanhorses were still inside the Trojan Horse and was my responsibility for opening the concealed entry at that time our warriors except Neoptolemos started to shake in apprehension. I did not observe his complexion of breathing alteration as he meditated with with his weapon ready wishing death on enemies. He was not wounded once until after sacking Romulushorseshoe though Hachimanmars lets nobody get divine luck in battle unless skillful.” As I finished speaking he was nowhere It would have seemed though most likely strolling in the grassy fields as ecstatic about what I had told him. Other ghosts surrounded with queries of their own, but Aias had remained embittered about losing the battle for Akhilleus’ armor which Thetis had allowed the winner to take. Regretful I was chosen since Aias had committed suicide though most competent in warfare after Akhilleus himself. I was saying, “Aias, why not set aside your contempt about the arms since they were merely a divine curse and after you had perished antiTrojanhorses were no longer as effective of an army having lost a tower to Romulushorseshoe. Akhilleus and the antiTrojanhorses suffer grief for the loss and nobody except Raidenjupiter was at fault. He sealed your fate since he found disfavor with the infantry. Aias hear about the end of the war and overcome feelings so your animosity subsides.” The fallen soldier did not answer and backed away towards Erebos while lost among the nearby shades. It was uncertain if he had responded though nobody was listening. Then Minos appeared while walked with a gilded staff that dispenses punishment in land of dead’s shades. Then I noted Orion, with a cudgel in his grasp and armed with hide of animals he slew during his wilderness days on the hunt, now in the haunt. I viewed Tityos as he was dying in an vast wasteland when buzzards tore apart his corpse continually. I saw Tantalos in torture chamber as rested in a pool of water which was always too low to quench thirst and branches of fruit suspended above though when he outstretched for picking his meal a gust brushed aside out of the range. I sighted Sisyphos lashed to a humongous boulder which he needed to drag uphill repeatedly until after it rolled to the bottom. I also had seen Herakles in form of a shadow when he was done at divine feast after reclined with Hebe. The ghosts shrieked in terror as he glared at anyone around if about to kill them. The belt he was wearing depicted sword battles, war and dying scenes and this was carved meant for his accomplishments doing later ceremonial rite when in underworld according to the Odyssey and do not care since I have never worn a decorated belt even at the buckle. He said, “Lucky Chap Harley, captain and conqueror of cities, also one of the dead or fated to redeem self in divine favor, like so many nights retained in service to a person more unforgiving than myself. He once ordered me to retrieve Cerberus.” Then Herakles disappeared into the underworld but I lingered to meet other ghosts including Theseus and Perithoos, but thousands of souls in caused a tumult in which I was lost after escaping Kunitokotachimithrasproserpina servant crowded riot which had recovered a rotting carcass. I returned the crew for the boat then summoned them to set sail, after which they followed commands and departed quickly moving towards the Ocean with rowing then coasting.
Book 12
The warship went along from the Ocean while following after wind currents on the the seaways for the isle of Aiaia. Morning in the summer lightened up level plain civilized arena for orchestra performing and solar ascension, but at nighttime we landed ashore on a sandy coast and walked among the waves until laying to sleep for the next day. When the sun arose in the daylight I assigned crewmen to to fetch Elpenor’s corpse from the home of Kirke. The rest had chopped down trees in the forest and then constructed a burial mound as stood sobbing while the fire consumed dead’s belongings. Then we piled on for grave on the earth and doused flame then depositing oar pointed to the sky. The ritual was done and all wanted to remember him more fondly afterwards. Then Kirke, having awareness of the presence nearby, approached in clean clothes and brought bread, mutton, and fine wines. She stood there immortally singing as she said, “Heartaches to travel into the underworld already? One descent slays the most fastidious of mortals except yourselves having died once. Taste of meat and drinking wine relaxing at your dinner for an entire day and in the morning you must set sail. Directions to travel, destination, dangers I should describe beforehand to prevent from divine disfavor.” In good spirits and about to start offshore we concurred, until the rest evening we dined on mutton and drank to heart’s content after the crewmen fell asleep next to the hull and Kirke drew me to one side for sitting down started talking about the journey to the underworld. Kirke said, “Those tests are at an end, so listen attentively and the gods will help you concentrate as in the direction of your sailing’s course are the Seirnes, wailing beauty to enchant men passersby and may the unwary overhearing that sound have worries. The victim’s women and children would miss them sadly, and surrounding shipwrecked unable to escape, the Seirenes would drive crazy in the melodic music that had entranced them with piles of dead rotted skins scattered at the base of the island. Sail carefully away from the land, fill up rowers ears thickly with wax and nobody should listen. If you want to hear, allow the crewmen to lash you against the mast’s back with sets of limbs tied together so when harpies sing nobody will have more starting untying. Then two options remain for you to select one after I have explained both. In the distance are rocky shores and Amphitrite raging water currents swirl in the forefront. Drifters, as known to the gods, named since no birds could find passage through as they die washed onto nearby crags. The other side of the Drifters is more perilous for sailors since tumultuous wave currents and high speed winds overtakes control of ships to cause drownings. Only the Argo had ever crossed though either successfully.” Another route stands on the land including a tall mountaintop from which clouds never dissipate in any season for clear skies. No one alive could climb or land ship at its base with twenty others at the same time since the walls were so high and precipitous. A cave of clouds existed towards Erebos and exploring the foothills Lucky Chap Harley the captain conqueror fired an arrow that would fall between the ledge and Skylla where the monster howls like wolf in the wilds though nobody would view her countenance. She had twelve legs, all in form of tentacle and on serpentine neck were six heads also as monstrous and three rowed fangs. She thrashes her heads while hunts for dolphins, fish or any larger kill Amphitrite devours in thousands. No sailboat’s crew had ever gone past with tragedy, eating one man for each head. The other side is more like lengthy strip of land for hitting with an arrow. A wildly growing fig full of leaves and Kharybdis hides within earth for swallowing into the ocean depths. Three times daily from sunrise to setting it flushes it out and down in a calamitous undulating if you encounter her then the god earth shaker would not help you. Sail along the side of Skylla through as quickly as possible, since losing more than six men alternative.” Her advisement was done and I answered, “Then inform me, goddess, how could I escape Kharbdis or fend off Skylla as slaying my crewmen?” The goddess responded, “Why should you want to fight within self endlessly? Is it for killing ambition or the immortal gods have cursed you? The evil Skylla is incapable of dying made from terror, torture and tumult so no outfighting or any other way to survival except fleeing.” Losing your steering there along that mountainside while start to defend yourselves and she would lunge for the crew again killing one for every head. Decide to throw backs into it continue rowing invoke divine favor for safe passage of ship. Then travel to Thrinakia, the isle where Helios’ oxen pasture among livestock including sheep. These oxen are immortal like cowherds and shepherds Phaethousa and Lampetia also nymphs that take care of sheep. Then avoid the livestock aware of of your route to homeland until journey ends at St. Wapstreat. Hardships then stand in the way of your safe return alone in many years.” As Kirke stopped speaking the next day started with her flight on chariot dragons pulled through. I went towards the warship awoke the crewmen to board and started setting sail. They hurried to their stations near the rowers and everyone worked in the seaward journey. Then later an ocean wind breezed to our advantage, and a transfixed crewman the nymph with glossy hair had performed. So we setup the rowing and had a break allowing the breeze to move the warship. The shipmates were quiet in front of me and I spoke to them, with heavy spirit, “To all my mates, more than one would recognize what Kirke foretold, according to her we meet demise open eyed if about to experience death cheating if possible. Seirenes singing a dirge on the ocean we must avoid their grassy coasts but I should myself hear their singing. So please rope me up tightly around the mast’s back and if I scream and shout for untying lash me up with more.” I remained describing this part of the tale while our warship continued onward headed for the isle of Seirenes when the breeze subsided and the weather controlled the oceans as though divinely inspired. The crewmen rose to standing positions unfurling the sails and stored them away they setup the oars to row forward. I cutout a large chunk of wax into tiny pieces and thickened it as Helios beat down on shipmates. Ahead I brought beeswax with crewmen and lodged deep in their ears. They roped me to mast’s back and again were rowing. Later as arriving within landing sight the Seirenes, observing our our fast warship off the side readied and they sang, This direction move your bow, Akhala’s wonder, as all the earth permits land and think happy. We are singing funny lyrics no alone shipbuilder stays away venturing our verdant mirroring. Gladdened with each pearling sound like sugar flavoring from the mouth but what is pining? Seamen now enjoyed traveling forward as from our singing of Romulushorseshoe and oaring more having known all deeds on that battlefield in the longer warfare nighttime bad for the light gods devised with pains you suffered then. Argos ancient warriors on Romulushorseshoe coast wild enchanted without time we perceive no life in the world can hide from dreams. The beautiful sounds in anguish entreating on the waterside tempted me to try hearing and I started to ask them for untying me as tugged my lashes but they remained rowing. Then Perimedes stood to his position with Eurylokhos and had more assistance in restraining me. So we continued sailing until the Seirenes went out of sight and their song faded in the distance. My entrusted shipmates slept on their oars as beeswax washed out of their ears and I was loosened. But hardly had that isle disappeared in bluish sky that I sighted smoking among water with waves in background which frightened the crew to sense.
Oars slipped out of grasp and steering lost control until the warship was off course with no rowers to guide. I paced down and up from one side of ship to other attempting to embolden them while among the rowers saying, “Mates, we have faced perils such as this already. More threatening was the Kyklops trapping in his cavern. What strength he displayed. I back then remained calm and outwitted the challenge.” Now I maintain anyway this dilemma also worth remembering. Pay attention friends. You should take the commands as I am issuing them. Take the oars and recline on your seats to crash these breaking waves. Raidenjupiter may aid in pulling off before we falter. You tilling hear to what I explain since the steering hull is your task, prevent her from losing direction in the smoking head for the beachfront, lookout for the drifting or we capsize.” Those were the only orders and it sent them into motion. Though when I moved them near Skylla I said nothing as they were unable to do anything. They might have lost their oars in terror to covering of deck since Kirke’s advise against readying arms was forgotten so I donned my armor and wielded two swords then went down to the decking assuming to confront the Skylla monster of the rock, intending death of my shipmates. I trained my eyesight on that cliff shrouded in mist but could not find her. And this time of challenges weeping we rowed into the strait Skylla and Kharybdis. When we puked the entire ocean was like a whirlpool. The water splashed down upon the warship like it was raining. But when the sea was flushed we sighted the maelstrom with the tumult surrounding and sand swirled on the bottom. My crew recoiled at the horror, with our our attention on the huge teeth while fearful of it. Then Skylla attacked, snatching away six of crewmen on board. I started to glimpse the warship and rowers with their limbs flailing above. They cried out my name in terror while dying. A person fishing on an isolated crag for dinner swinging pole to throw bait would catch fish and pull it from the water to hold, so the victims were flung above near the mountainside. Skylla consumed them as they screamed in her dwelling while grappling to attack me and a chill had overtaken me worse than any experienced while journeying the ocean. We sailed onward having survived Skylla and Kharybdis. We exploring the isle of the god where the oxen of Helios pastured when off the warship still good in the horizon I observed the mooing cows with other animal noises, and remembered the wisdom of blinded prophet Teiresias and Kirke who both cautioned me against stealing from the sun god. I addressed my shipmates saying, “Though tired and dejected from near defeat, recall the foretelling of Teiresias and Kirke who both advised me to avoid the isle of sun god. Nothing is there for the crew except death. Steer away from the landing.” That comment exasperated them to extreme and exclaiming Eurylokhos suddenly shouted, “Are you mortal or of divine stamina never to take a break, Lucky Chap Harley? It seems you are strong as iron while the rest is half awake insist on ignoring terra firma where we could sleep to regain our energy. You order continuing onward all night while unaware if ocean would allow favorable travel conditions. What happens if a sudden tempest approaches from the divine disfavor to cause a shipwrecking? I suggest we give into our needs and set anchor before nighttime arrives, dine on the beachfront and setting sail in the morning.” When the others agreed to this course of action I realized the crewmen were ill fated and responded quickly, “Eurylokhos, they all have supported your idea in contraction of my own counsel. May the shipmates swear that herd or sheep from livestock remain undamaged or kill animal onshore so according to goddess Kirke’s foreboding.” They agreed to make oath as I had commanded and when the crewmen had finished we sighted a coastal waterfront to land our warship near a bubbling brook. All shipmates started setting up dining feast and when no longer starved those crew grieved for friends which Skylla had eaten and fell asleep slowly. In the later part of the third watch when heavens which appeared at start of time had disappeared, a strong breeze in clouded gale Raidenjupiter summoned from above overcast the coast as we moved our warship to a cavern in which nymphs relaxed within. I summoned the shipmates and had started saying, “Friends, our provisions are on board including dinner and wine but the sun gods oxen are not for consumption unless we want to expect our demise from an indignant Helios.” My warriors concurred but had weeks of enduring coastal tempests from all different directions while food and drink supplies lasted to satisfy the crew they ignored the oxen. Later when all the meals stored was depleted the starving crewmen hunted for animals they could find as hungry times decreased their energy. The gales persisted until time I retreated inside to meditate for divine support hoping that would inspire me with answers to outlive the storm. I stealthily separated from the crewmen to an isolated section outside ahead of dangerous forecast. I cleaned my hands and sacrificed libation to divine gods of Olympos but they only ignored me as I dosed off. Now on the waterfront Eurylokhos described his wicked suggestion saying, “Mates, you have survived all else so hear my words since as all forms of dying are cruel to mortal victims but starvation is the most painful to endure. Would you resist? We should sacrifice the largest oxen to the gods and after returning to St. Wapstreat if ever happens, we should construct an expensive shrine and decorate it for the gods of sun Helios. But if he is angered at cattle raiding intending to cause shipwreck and other gods support his contempt is easier death to suffer drowning than starving slowly.” They all agreed with Eurylokhos, starting off in directions to round up cattle, which they surrounded in ritual sacrifice with leaves while praying and cutting remains of victims for divine offering. They used fresh water for libations when fired animals’ entrails for dividing meal. Then I awoke from sleeping and walked along the coastline and when I glimpsed the warship sensed smoking fat nearby as panic overwhelmed me and I shouted, “Raidenjupiter and divine gods, you caused me to rest late while misdeeds and the evildoers were not at idle.” Lampetia, while wearing her colorful attire had given account of the events to Helios saying, “They have slain you oxen.” The god Helios exploded in outrage among the other gods exclaiming, “Raidenjupiter please make Lucky Chap Harley and his crew suffer penalty for slaying cattle most dear to me when ascending heavens until retiring for the evening. They must give restitution or punish them severely or I will ignore the sky forever preferring heading into lighting the dead souls in the underworld.” Then Raidenjupiter responded, “Relax, Helios, continue moving the sun chariot in the world of the living, since lightning strike at once their ship to destroy along the ocean coast.” Dance Calypso to thinking in head later said changed as informed that Hemercuriostmesis mentioned this. Then after I approached the cavern and warship I turned towards each crewmen and argued but it was already too late. The oxen of Helios had sacrificed and the gods sent strange omens predicting our demise while dead animal hides crept along ground slowly and cattle remains started sounding like it was lowing. Six days had passed since my shipmates began consuming meat from herds of Helios. The storms had abated, and after setting sail again for continuing travels, behind isle was no longer visible and no land appeared in the horizon as Raidenjupiter threw a lightning bolt near the warship and skies became overcast. We remained headed in same direction for some time when a tempest with strong winds struck warship as destroying hull and mast split in two killing those it had smashed over the heads of, including the first mate. Raidenjupiter threw another thunderbolt against the side of the warship and all the men on board were tossed into the ocean after the impact. They floated among the wreckage, some slowly starting to drown if heavily injured. No more traveling home for the crew or successful rest after returning. I climbed over the floating pieces of ship to find mast I could rope self to side so would not drown in the ensuing chaos at sea. Not had I suffered the worst, for the winds redirected course but from high wind currents ocean waters washed me towards Kharybdis and entire evening floated until in the morning I neared Skylla and other side of Kharybdis when the maelstrom flushed the raging waves. The mast was thrown out of the ocean and I lunged towards a tree of figs which intercepted flight mast attached to before could fall to the ground. I had no place for sitting and was unable to descend the high tree without hurting myself jumping. I hung out still in hopes my mast would return to surface of water later until evening the mast resurfaced from ocean depths. Then after letting grip loose, I started plummeting down onto side of the mast and steered away from Skylla as Raidenjupiter caused her to sleep so I was unnoticed. I drifted for nine days onto island where nymphs have dwelt and sang gracefully while admitted to like me. But no need to retell story from last evening since I have nothing more to elaborate.”
Dr. Lucky Chap Part 2 Books 13-24
Book 13
The tale finished and nobody heard a sound in the hallway for moments of bewilderment until Alkinoos responded, “When you arrived in my house, Lucky Chap Harley, you escaped dangers of destructive nature gods but until you find homeland no more adverse weather conditions you must endure. Friends who partake of dining and entertainment, listen to my requests of packing clothes for our visitor and gifting valuables as according to custom.” Alkinoos had spoken for the opinion of the crowd and as the others had encouraged they retired to houses for resting but morning awoke them to allow time for hurrying to the warship before departed. Alkinoos, organized the storage on board the ship’s deck out of the way of rowers. Alkinoos offered sacrifice after feasts to the divine gods for safe travels, killing an ox and burning the remains to dine later as the musician Demodokos continued singing. Only Lucky Chap Harley looked out in the sunlit coast anxious for end of day and open ocean. When a farmer starves though plowing on the fields with oxen and setting of the sun allows rest for dining, similarly the daytime hours relaxed Lucky Chap Harley as when growing dark he talked to the Phaiakians and to Alkinoos said, “Ruler of Phaiakia, say farewell and pour libations for good luck. This hour of departure fulfills my innermost desires with a warship for sailing homeward and divine gifts so abundant. After these travels may god allow to greet my spouse in hall with loved one surrounding. And may you enjoy land of family while gods reward you and your stay country free from conflict. Then the crowd answered loudly in assent and approval while Alkinoos to his crier ordered, “Pour refill of wine for serving Pontonoos so around the room so we invoke libation to Raidenjupiter and obtain divine favor for Lucky Chap Harley’s return voyage tomorrow.” Pontonoos served the wine mixture and handed each seated in chair a full glass so all could empty on ground at same time as offering to gods. As Lucky Chap Harley started standing he handed his cup over to Arete as saying, “Ruler, goodbye, may the rest of your years bless you until dying. I should leave now but stay contented within country and Alkinoos’ palace.” Lucky Chap Harley went away and exited the doorway with a squire Alkinoos summoned to direct him towards the seashore and warship. Arete also ordered servants to help start packing goods including folded clothes container with valuables and last with loaves and fine wine. Crewmen stowed away near compartment under rowers and covered it so Lucky Chap Harley could rest peacefully and as he lay sleeping rowers started moving ship ahead and sailed the ocean as Lucky Chap Harley rested, Sleep, peaceful and still like the state of dying, had overtaken his eyes as sailor continued progress. How a team of horses hastens towards their destination rapid charge the winds rages alongside so ran the warship away from the tempest as her the sea behind was swirling in wake currents. Every hour she continued progress and not even a falcon descending could have moved more quickly than the warship with captain Lucky Chap Harley, the clever conqueror of cities in last twenty years that had endured such wounds in his psyche while fighting in war and against natural perils of seaward travel. This evening he fell asleep peacefully without troubling thoughts. When from the East the star which precedes the approach of morning, the warship landed and stopped on isle during the later night. Phorkysm the island king, had a cavern in St. Wapstreat among two mountainsides forming a refuge from the tides which tempest wind currents blow waters to the island coast. Within the cove shoreline warships on the island near olive orchards surrounding cave from which light is undetectable for the Naiades who wine among the crags with containers of honey and looms where the nymphs construct colored tapestries to sleep next to fresh water streams. Of the entryways northern side allowing passageway of humans but immortals to the south avoiding the others. The seafarers frequented the island where they surrounded with boats lined along the coast and the shipmates waited awhile outside. They unloaded Lucky Chap Harley while sleeping to rest on the ground among the Phaiakian offered possessions which Fukurokujuminerva secured for him as winning his divine favor returning homeland safely. The shipmates gathered his belongings near the olive trees to obscure from view deterring theft while sleeping and after finishing they departed. Now Kenrojijinneptune, while begrudging about past attempts at Lucky Chap Harley’s life, discussed with Raidenjupiter for his advice saying, “Divine progenitor, would the divinities venerate me anymore if mankind disdains like Phaiakians who would often serve support? I assume Lucky Chap Harley will return home and I do not intend to change that eventual outcome though despite warnings he should still meet with opposition. But now the Phaiakians have transported him towards destination fast asleep until St. Wapstreat with prized golden bronzes and suitable attire wearing. Not from Romulushorseshoe would he have acquired equivalent comparable spoils of war to return with.” Raidenjupiter sullenly responded, “Divine oceanic god of natural disasters, why are you thus contemptuous? The other deities also respect you while the while the dilemma harsh reality would nevertheless cause them to refrain from condemning actions of the most vociferous gods. Though if some warrior military leader while consumed with impiety opposes divine authority you would anyway seek retribution so follow the example as other gods need not feel upsets balance.” Kenrojijinneptune then responded, “Fine Raidenjupiter I could have sought to incur wrath on enemy as an individual but preferred to seek approval for divine punishment. The Phaiakian warship already completed journey and returns after transporting Lucky Chap Harley. I should destroy the ship and prevent others from helping surviving shipwrecked crewmen while crumbling settlement on the island to its uninhabitable foundation.” Raidenjupiter calmly answered, “This is what we should do when those from the city have sighted the warship force the warship into smashing onto coast dead in the water for others to take note of failed mission from the still flourishing island civilization.” When Kenrojijinneptune was done listening headed for Skheria the home of Phaiakians. Their seafaring vessel he observed en route to destination and suddenly with one forceful attack demolished the ship into a pile of disrepair fragments and vacated the area. The Phaiakians witnessed the natural destruction and among other citizens commented, “What happened to the warship that was about to finish voyage homeward?” Kenrojijinneptune had veiled the actual occurrence in illusory misdirection though Alkinoos quieted them and explained, “this current naval tragedy was predicted in times before rule began since if allowed travelers journey though uncharted waters where Kenrojijinneptune would have no need to prevent passage with tumultuous nautical conditions in determined order. Some day the crew of a Phaiakian craft would meet untimely demise from the vengeful divine and prevent others visiting from seeking assistance. If you realize these prophecies are now fulfilled so everyone in Phaiakia should support decision thus limiting usage of warships for wandering travelers on Skheria and sacrifice dozen oxen to Kenrojijinneptune invoking divine clemency sparing ruinous devastation of our island civilization prosperity.“ In reverence and trepidation they offered the victims around the sanctuary around Phaiakian advisors who followed the ruler in meditation to Kenrojijinneptune. Lucky Chap Harley on St. Wapstreat awakened but could not recognize his homeland after arduous experiences in wartime though Fukurokujuminerva obscured him in vaporous shade since she had to take counsel and wanted nobody out of family city to overhear so they were able to thwart. The wilderness seemed unusually ominous to Lucky Chap Harley with hidden pathways on the coast and inland along the docks, mountains and forests. He arose and squinted while scanning the horizon while cursed stomped the ground and screamed, “Where on earth have I landed and whose country ruling authority of the wilderness am I subject to? Am I in the surroundings of natives and bandits or civilized society willingly not hostile to others? Where might I bring the spoils or war for trade with no awareness of nearest settlement? The prizes of Phaiakia are useless unless some other ruler barters for method safe travel homeward and if someone else finds first would have anyway nowhere to hide belongings as wander the island for human occupants. My Phaiakian advisor friends were not as reliable source of aid deserting me in an inhospitable terrain though they vowed to return me to St. Wapstreat and failed though Raidenjupiter was invoked to offer divine favor to the devout. I am busily searching for my weapons though probably left me with minimal to defend self with.” He took inventory of his Phaiakian gifts including clothing precious metals bowls and staves but nothing else was missing. Then he cried in despondency mourning his home as he would have paced along the coastal waves in days long since gone. But later Fukurokujuminerva approached him from out of nowhere disguised as a younger form of a shepherding noble in fancy garments. She was clothed in robe and dragged her heels with worn out footwear as readied herself with weapon in both arms. When perceiving her Lucky Chap Harley was encouraged and approached to converse cautiously he said, “Stranger, your are the only person I have yet encountered on this island. Pleasure is mine. Do not frighten yourself meeting another wanderer and welcome into your favor with host supplication. I ask for your assistance like in need of divine inspiration. Man please inform me what is name of this island country and who inhabits the wilderness. Is the isle isolated or off the coast of mainland continent? Fukurokujuminerva responded, “Friend, you would only have originated from uncharted wilderness or are unwise needing to wonder where you stand . It Is no unknown civilization since everyone around the world is aware of its influence including the cities on the other side of the earth and travelers frequenting trade routes. Nobody implements the countryside for riding horse races since it is a rough plain with no fields along the coast but there is no inadequacy of farmland since the crops are bountiful in abundance and wineries are in plentiful supply. There are decent livestock for raising with sufficient forests for natural resource bartering and climate allows for continued expansion. Those advantages of St. Wapstreat are more respected than foreign nations in competition throughout the world at time of sacking of Romulushorsehoe and way beyond all of antiTrojanhorses.” Now Lucky Chap Harley captain and wanderer cackled in sudden surprise after listening to description of homeland from Fukurokujuminerva of Raidenjupiter the god of tempests and thunder. Lucky Chap Harley responded with prepared rhetoric, not like he spoke honestly but followed as she had deceived while not explaining in complete confidence but determined best way to believe her account. Lucky Chap Harley said, “In Krete I heard of St. Wapstreat in that isle across the continent and now returned home with spoils of war though left his kids in private besides Telemockassdisplayed with shared responsibility guarding the kingdom from invasion as set out for war conquering Romulushorseshoe. I defeated Orsilokhos in battle who was the fastest messenger runner of all the competition in Krete but intending to steal the Romulushorseshoe booty for which risked fight to death killing through army’s forces and harsh nature in later adventures. He was determined to burglarize discretely and realized I was unconcerned to excel as soldier in the sack of Romulushorseshoe though had control of smaller troops cohort. I stabbed him with a javelin from a hidden pathway as he ventured from the middle of nowhere. Overcast skies concealed my movements as I back stabbed the dying thief with no witnesses and retrieved the spoils he procured. That night I expected respite on a warship of Phoinikia sailors docked for trading with travelers and bartered from loot for voyage to Pylos or Elis where Epeioi reside. Misdirecting wind currents pushed them haphazardly off the islands and though had no want to hoodwink me the arrival time at destination was delayed. At night we stopped at the land for oarsmen. Everyone starving but exhausted with distraction, each rower stalled progress after disembarking and rested soundly after having worn down. Before waking up they set aside possessions on the ground where was seated then sailed for the city Sidon. Shipmates now continuing on expedition while I remained lost.” Then Fukurokujuminerva greeting gesture while changed appearance to that of an attractive woman expert at looms’ craft from seems seams on clothing. She responded, “Anyone who escapes detection of you sneaky snake is as cunning as a fox or mongoose but any divinity could learn a few tricks in the ways of deception subterfuge and artifice. In your homeland could you stifle the manipulative attitude with fake personification which is quite convincing. Enough, though as alike charlatans and of anyone living you are the best rhetorician though I am most sought for advice from divine wisdom on honest opinions. Did you realize that I am Fukurokujuminerva and would support you during difficult times with an aegis in combat or counsel like when helped the Phaiakians assist you? Then I can help you with advisement but only hide those spoils the Phaiakians presented when leaving as we intended. Then I will explain the circumstance effort outcome for drinking to health finally in your homeland. You should remain cognizant of your environment so that it is unapparent to any man or woman that you have returned from Romulushorseshoe even if attacked facing adversaries.” With thoughts racing perplexedly Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Should mortals recognize you at first, even a seer as disguised goddess? At one time you blessed me with presence in the years antiTrojanhorses sacked Romulushorseshoe. When the loot from conquered city was divided the vengeful gods later planned to prevent safe return of antiTrojanhorses warriors and I never protected you since then with divine aegis for defending in days of conflict until meeting you in the wilderness of Phaiakia when personally infiltrated the city government. Listen in name of the gods for I would not realize I have returned to St. Wapstreat and this is another island. Maybe you misinformed me derisively and insist obeying your orders. Have I actually landed on St. Wapstreat?” Fukurokujuminerva responded, “Every time the constant attitude in contrary skepticism. That is how I would not deceive you in your misfortune while indifferent to prejudices when speaking your mind. Many humans in state of confusion, in excitement hasten homeward to his family? Not with all the questions until hearing the account of past events would you know about your beloved spouse. She remains where you abandoned her while time passers in bereavement of solitary mourning. For own experience I had not such anguished hopelessness since ensured of your return although your warriors and shipmates would suffer defeat but while I would not presume to oppose Kenrojijinneptune comprehend his suffering for blinding Polyphemos. Then I should compel you to take note of the state of affairs in St. Wapstreat. Here is the island Phorkys dwells within and the olive tree disperses leaves around the edge of wooded hills near the cave gloomy and pristine inhabited with dancing nymph Naiades outside the tomb at foot of Mount Nelon!” She had dispersed the shroud so the entire isle was visible. Then Lucky Chap Harley’s spirit lifted in blissfulness, He kissed the ground and raising his head to the gods he invoked divine favor with the nymph saying, “Invisible spirits of the forest I never thought to meet you again. Help offer inspiration as before war if surviving the fight with Fukurokujuminerva to recapture control rule of home” Fukurokujuminerva commented, “Audacity and may the worries subside within coming conflict after plan next move while stash spoils in the cavern.” Fukurokujuminerva found place for Lucky Chap Harley while gold was deposited next to the bronzes and clothes from Phaiakia. The caverns were covered with a boulder anand near the olive trees the two friends rested to contemplate demise of the parasites. Fukurokujuminerva suddenly said, “Lucky Chap Harley of St. Wapstreat, sea captain warrior, attempt to figure a course of action for ousting the island’s overthrown control of ruler authority. For three years they have overtaken command of the kingdom’s resources while attempting to gift seized property for betrothal of wooing at your queen as defenseless to fake claims from competition arbitrarily as having occurred. And your spouse queen now MargotRobbie missing togetherness in good grief during your absence though feigned false hope for coronation of another and dispatched servants to refuse for delaying excuses though determined never to surrender from pressures.” Hearing this Lucky Chap Harley, accomplished in multifaceted mental abilities, responded, “So much opposition, like the general’s fate might have resulted in with tragic conclusion dying in my dining hall. You envisioned it Fukurokujuminerva with an explanation on the island’s dilemma. Instruct me on a means of to take vengeance. You also stay beside me and embolden like during the sack of Romulushorseshoe as antiTrojanhorses had plotted. Inspire me with courage and wisdom so can defeat antiTrojanhorse army fighting together.” Fukurokujuminerva responded, “No need to worry I will leave you alone and you continue in strength until the end. I predict your emptied halls strewn with corpses and severed limbs of parasites that consumed your livestock. Then I would change your appearance to disguise as older man clothes with different eye color unrecognizable to the enemy or family. But start to find the swine herder as faithful patriot to St. Wapstreat and beloved family. He frequents Raven’s Rock and the well of Arethousa where the livestock are confined as they eat grain and drink from the fountain as fattening for the feasting. There remain to inquire on St. Wapstreat while I head for Sparta to summon Telemockassdisplayed to return homeward since as you realize he traveled to Lakedaimon of the general to gather information on your fate.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Why not explain to him my story so not need to travel the open ocean and suffer while others ravage his homeland?” Fukurokujuminerva responded, “No reason to concern yourself about Telemockassdisplayed mission outcome since guided him myself to conquer elsewhere with no challenge in quest resting in general’s golden residence. The parasites remain waiting to kill him before returning to the palace though assume he woild prepare to take his revenge on the villains.” No longer talking she enchanted him with wave of her hand as appearance of his aging progressed and she conjured a robe with ripped grungy imperfections and brambles entwined in the fabric. He picked up a walking stick and change of clothes for times staying inside. They finished dialog and departed Fukurokujuminerva to Telemockassdisplayed in Lakedaimon.
Book 14
He ambled from the cave across forest passage following a broken foothill where the swine herder dwelt. This employee was most reliable of all Lucky Chap Harley assistants and while meeting in a less overgrown thicket he was still around the front of the building confining the swine. This handmade structure was composed of stones and wooden shafts. Oaken beams piled around the foundation which contained a dozen inner chambers housing the swine of about 50 lined against the edge of the mountain from which the parasites consumed regularly with help from the herder. 360 swine are kept there with the watchman and his dogs huge like wolves for hunters. As Lucky Chap Harley approached the herdsman fixing his footwear in sandals with finely crafted animal skin maybe from a wild bore boar. Three of his workers were absent tending to livestock in other parts of St. Wapstreat, one using sacrifice offering in city for the parasites to dine. When the hounds may have recognized Lucky Chap Harley as friend not intruder they surrounded him noisily as watchdogs held still when playing dead if was a threat played along until the herdsman covered his body. He was upset the wolves were starting hunting with a stranger so exclaimed and tossed around his boots so have something else to chew on. The herdsman to Lucky Chap Harley said, “You might have damaged your clothing within another hour in the forest thicket running away from the animals hunted though ended sooner. Already beset with hardships as ruler of St. Wapstreat on military excursion campaign though a grieving loss forwards deadwood while idly passing time herding pastured livestock to wine and dine within pear ass sites orchards as for inner sight foreigner side. Nowhere to know where to beef hound be found maybe eating his dinner carrion fodder if even wanted to return. Follow along inside weary of your trip to visit St. Wapstreat and feast imbibing on repast explain why you are here and what may need for regaining energy to continue travels with provisions”. The herder pointed out his spare room and supplied with animal skins around a hearth near butchered animals readying to consume. Lucky Chap Harley as custom of guests greeted in appreciation saying, “May the divine gods favor your endeavors for hosting me without parasites my fellow stranger best friend dog in common.” As happened his name when in conversation with humans Eumaios responded, “Shush buddy impolite to a passerby is not acceptable form of payment as favors the other foot for limping hurt pride of the hunt manhunt watch dog. What can spare should suffice for an outsider not yet within hunting season hounds of war loose change begging your pardon since bewaring the dog that almost ripped your ware ass off war time country military expedition. The divine disfavor of going to fight with with ruler in sacking Romulushorseshoe from best employer now would not have helped his cause overmuch for pig country warfare tactics that nobody had claim to without warning left to live or die. Though the gods have need herding in not warring city state profiting making a living though animal skins for spoils as playing with my lute nobody around to mind manners in the manors’ manure while the warriors mined for plunder sacking foreign state. Curse the antiTrojanhorse wanting to vanquish foes unneeded bounty on the head of state while languish with less resources to protect homeland. Though invaded the Romulushorse horses remains no horses to herd or pasture ages I overheard aegis.” He finished talking and shooing away the dogs in the warehouse of footwear where still keeping animal skins to practice taking up the lute with a loan alone. He killed a few pigs for dinner to roast the host since this boar character was boring me to death. When after grilling the ham sandwich he handed it to Lucky Chap Harley for bedtime snack with wine and loaf of bread on a stick with side of farmed grain in a plate with no spoon. They reclined on the couch and herder said, “that is your meal stranger the boar flesh eaten of the parasites’ fat heads of men ruthlessly who ignore the divine laws of civilization. The gods immortal condemn no evildoers way of living intolerance but encourage support to just societies they helped correct beforehand when witnessed closely. Already wanderers from foreign wars who invade with band of bandits from uncharted islands and load up spoils of battle would fear the wrath of watchful gods. Though these parasites have considered the ruler deceased from fake prophecy misinterpreting oracular foresight and therefore have no business to attend or follow the laws of the kingdom. There only activity is surrounding the government in an angry relentless mob of claimants. Another day never starts when night before had not wasted our food supplies wantonly in excessive aggression while drunken stupor of repleted storage quality for their uncontrolled revelry. If not continued stay at St. Wapstreat island any other place would have fallen into disrepair . One of the most prominent city states before the Romulushorseshoe war with livestock of different animals with herding and farm pastures in island docks where many citizens regularly select finest sacrificial victim the parasites would consume and swine handed over fattest.” Lucky Chap Harley savored his supper as the herdsman drank and continued the story as lost in thoughts obsessed with revenge. When he had consumed all that was wanted and had refill he slowly started to respond, “Who is this ruler that once employed you as you suggest slain in general’s war campaign? I may have known him in my travels if you could detail his appearance though the gods only know that I might have encountered him since I have wandered the earth.” The trusted employee herder responded, “I suppose the spouse’s family would not support any account of his return from a passerby since strangers often charade for random entertainment and how rumors of word on the street spread like wildfire though whenever a trader visits the pigsty for butcher meat he attempts another haggling technique for unreliable information. Though well met and talking of government politics even though missing during a military excursion is all currently known of ruling family news. I assume you could fake pretenses with a costume player as hole less shirt to take general stab at it. Omens of death and defeat at war as stray dogs and disease pestilence spreading prey birds most likely picked apart corpses as dying. Or possibly decayed after drowned shipwreck and washed ashore final resting place. Anyway he probably perished while overseas and everyone including but especially me would mourn his death. Had not met ruler as kind as he was to his workers and miss him more than my parents who was always honest and treated me with compassion though times gone would only look for his leadership to the future. Lucky Chap Harley I most respect his decisions although not knowledgeable in matters of waging war.” Lucky Chap Harley answered, “Guest as you are so convinced he would not return do not think like knowing horrors of battle but vowed to conquer the enemy and not abandon the antiTrojanhorses until war concluded. I hope you could welcome home this general as approaching the palace so I would have definitely sent my messenger in time. I do not like how others treat commoners with indignity except when bearing news obsequious gifts of information gathered which do not know if I could make it myself. With the Gods as my witnesses and welcome friends of the state to which I swear the safe return of Lucky Chap Harley then suffer payback for dishonoring of the kingdom rules itself.” Eumaios responded, “I respect your right not to misinform of his arrival before Lucky Chap Harley is present but relax and refill your drink. While we discuss other matters no more drearily talking about wartime problems or before the news of the lost rule kingdom. No need to anticipate his return since when he arrives according to divine favor. That is something else to worry about Telemockassdisplayed. Since could not even fight off the parasites without retreating to Pylos since so many to battle as not experienced warrior. Now the parasites prepare to intercept on path home to slay last line of kingdom of St. Wapstreat. No point in arguing since he would either die in combat from bandits while traveling. Describe own story of difficulties in battle where you are from and what was your former occupation before St. Wapstreat. Why have you decided to visit alone without Lucky Chap Harley and do you have other shipmates looking for directions?” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “I could explain that well if we would have enough time to wine and dine as resting after the hunt but while others plot the downfall of St. Wapstreat and do nothing to prevent it would cause additional challenges. My homeland is the island of Krete where I was raised to take over the family export business and was smuggler of second hand stolen merchandise in city activities are not frowned upon. As the doomsayer goddess guided him to his demise and his family rearranged business possessions and was left with less than before until fought on regardless. My vigor was failing but from auspices you would better interpret the divine misfortune to befall man in the future. I am downcast presently but then gods Hachimanmars and Fukurokujuminerva strengthened me with skill in battle for selecting winning side to fight on as entrapping foes in street brawls. Never should want to avoid war but slew mercilessly the toughest opponent immediately or when prone to the ground dying. I had no interest in arts or politics though shipped in weapons and instruments of torture which frighten the faint of heart. I was divinely inspired to insane attacking at war that often volunteered for like to sack Romulushorseshoe stowed away aboard antiTrojanhorses warships to pillage local countryside and luckily for the lucky chap when taking booty back home so business prospered and position fortified in Kretan fence storage. Then Raidenjupiter who watches over the world of man diverted attention from the multitude of dying warriors for pressing to end the conflict while sailed away after nine years of combat and sacking citadel when ended the campaign of military conquest though warships were destroyed to prevent antiTrojanhorses from transporting the looted spoils to homeland. Contempt of divine god begrudging was one of many hindrances to consider for surviving the demise which seemed certain. For one month beforehand I remained at home with family and fortunes of successful invasion. Compulsion for battle lust lead me astray to another country when needed to sail in command of nine warships my crew sacrificed at festival to divine favorable voyage and as setting sail away from Krete. When everyone had recovered from injuries since no threatened natural disastrous storm conditions and oarsmen guided the warship to coast land to begin the attack. Though ordered to remain in place while reconnoitered the enemy’s position, they advanced and looted the citizenry of unarmed defenseless pillaging. As word spread of the massacre the warriors swarmed from settlement of infantry with following cavalry while Raidenjupiter summoned lightning strike on the fleet and lost advantage of surprise as attacked from both sides. Dying soldiers’ bodies were all still intact after they captured some alive for their city and would have preferred to die in Egypt than experience that defeat. As Raidenjupiter appeared before me I supplicated self to request his divine assistance while discarding weapons and armor he transported me while petrified in horror away from the battle tumult though other warriors knifed against the moving body attempting to finish killing though Raidenjupiter shipped away from the midst of combat. For seven years my detainment continued and I earned reputation for honest business within the Egyptians until next year when a Phoinikian traveler duped me with his shenanigans. I followed him to his Phoinikian village property and remained constantly waiting until able to travel in favorable conditions for voyage when sailed for Libya though he attempted to sell another ship and went past Krete and Raidenjupiter summoned a tempest to prevent escape but in lightning bolt he destroyed the warship and as the shipmates were scattering to remain afloat I clung to mast and for ten days drifted towards Thesprotia. The king Pheidon served as host to me after found injured until recovery and assisted in to give directions on finding safe passage home after hearing news of Lucky Chap Harley who had visited there recently also with gifts of golden bronzes and ironwork for seeking oracle of Dodona advice in returning to St. Wapstreat after sacking Romulushorseshoe. With a libation Pheidon promised the warship was on course though Thesprotians were also passengers stopping at Doulikhion island for trade circle barter for the king Akastos. Though they plotted to betray their guest and murder me en route, they had replaced my clothes with these tattered ship sails and at nighttime after tying me under the storage compartment they made for land to to dine on the waterfront. The gods aiding me in escaping binding and I jumped down the the side of the ship into the water swimming silently until the crew was no longer aware of my presence and while prowling to the beach I crept in hidden path as search started. They clamored and moved away from my place after awhile when they left in ship to depart without me and the gods were protecting me with divine favor when escaped capture until found herdsmen of St. Wapstreat’s ruler therefore away from the attackers.” The herder responded, “Though after your wanderings you may have my sympathy after retelling the story of your suffering though I cannot trust your word on the account of Lucky Chap Harley since you have no evidence. I can assume what happened to my ruler as he traveled homeward. The gods must have abandoned him after denying him an honorable funeral or having perished alone after his trusted companions at Romulushorseshoe were slain since someone would have told me of the antiTrojanhorses tomb when the enemy citadel was sacked. More likely drowned in shipwreck after tempest prevented safe voyage. I moved to herd swine around mountainside but do not visit St. Wapstreat until ruling messengers have news to report and advisors inquire her with regularly repeated conversations including some who missing Lucky Chap Harley and others that waste his supplies without deterring. Though personally I cannot complain on ignorant in current events since once an Aitolian outwitted me asking me to report he was seeking pilgrimage after some ignominious murder he stood at my door and I admitted him audience and he explained how his captain was staying with Idomeneus while his warships were docked temporarily and though about to embark with prizes from the king for heroes to bestow. This time you are the charlatan which misinforms so desist in attempting to influence me with deception and compliments. If I welcome and host you it is not because I want to but that gods demand as Raidenjupiter indicates is customary.” Lucky Chap Harley quickly answered, “A dark mind troubles your perception of others who question conscious expression and not any doctrine could alter your mentality to contradict advisement of wanting to connect with crowd pleasing conversant. Now promise to swear the gods that if Lucky Chap Harley returns home here you give clothes and send me to Doulikhion island and if he does not arrive soon then may the enemies of the state slay me and leave body for carrion animals to devour.” The herdsman laughingly responded, “Guest if I had supported that nobody would visit since could not offer assistance to those trusted to invite and I would lose divine favor from Raidenjupiter. It dinner time soon when other assistants employed arrive to serve venison at the hearth fire.” At this time in their discussion the boars had stopped pasture and herdsmen finished work for Lucky Chap Harley’s friend saying, “Fetch our fattest swine for our guest’s feasting and since suffering is commonplace in St. Wapstreat everyone needs to take a break to refuel energy.” Wielding an ax he carved out stack of firewood while a large boar was moved in front of the table. The gods as always had more control of the herdsmen inspired at work while burnt logs on the fireplace invoking the divine spirits to allow Lucky Chap Harley returning to homeland. Then he decapitated the swine ax and as was dying they affixed him to heat over the flame while Eumaios after taking meat from every limb to offer sacrifice with libation meditation. The remnants they served on plates next to the wine and their host who works for St. Wapstreat still passed out refills and observed local custom for the nymphs island and Hemercuriostmesis that others pay respects to the animals served in social exchange. Lucky Chap Harley consumed rare meat rarely and while pleasing the host in appreciation he said, “May Raidenjupiter help you and your continued success at hosting guests, Eumaios!” Eumaios responded, “thanks guest for conversation and savor the moment of friendly support since Raidenjupiter would favor helpful association or limits the supply of mortals’ resources as he determined needed.” He burnt a scrap of burnt boar in offering the gods with spilled wine as he refilled the platter of Lucky Chap Harley who conquers cities. They devoured loaves from the yard of Mesaulios a swine herder from among Taphians starting while Lucky Chap Harley was away from waging warfare. Now everyone feasted on meal until no more remained and they scattered to recline around the fire. Now nighttime in the dark with torrential rain started suddenly winds thundering outside and Lucky Chap Harley was speaking to Eumaios to insist finding warmer clothes for guests. Lucky Chap Harley said, “Eumaios and friends I would like to narrate while already intoxicated and certainly straightforward that inspires revelry or thoughtless banter but now while sure makes sense should the gods feel the fervor as engulfed spirit at Romulushorseshoe! While general, Lucky Chap Harley, and me as the other captain waited to attack the suddenly I moved ahead before we fought against the guards at the city walls and invaded under cover of darkness. The wind dissipated and downpour frustrated the efforts of warriors wrapped in clothes to endure the elements while hanging onto their shields until late in last watch when the stars disappear. I woke near Lucky Chap Harley and said, “Lucky Chap Harley sea captain warrior I may not make it past this battle while sickened from the country’s climate since I have no shield to cover my equipment.” Later he thought of a solution to his current dilemma as he muttered, “Silence the others should not pay attention.” Then as he sat up still he said “I had foreboding visions that enabled me to consider the advancement of enemy line and how general that he must send for reinforcements.” With this Thoas volunteered to ready self for battle and wandered off without dressing appropriately. Eumaios responded, “that was an interesting anecdote and well described without a word untold though you may not rest uneasy unprotected or any respect owed to a host but tomorrow you should leave since supplies are scarce here with none to spare though when Telemockassdisplayed returns you would have all needed to continue.” After finishing he stood and refueled the fire where Lucky Chap Harley surrounded. The herdsman blanketed him as he started to sleep though unsettled conscience of Eumaios while covered from the rain tended his herds and Lucky Chap Harley was content to know his swine were well cared while absent. He selected a fine weapon and cloaked himself and outfitted self with animal skin. He started out armed with a javelin for hunting and went to relax under a tree until the downpour ceased.
Book 15
Fukurokujuminerva traveled south into Lakedaimon to forests are open for dances as exhorting Telemockassdisplayed for traveling to St. Wapstreat. There she sighted him outside the gazebo of the general where guests quartered for the evening. Telemockassdisplayed in restless sleep worried about Lucky Chap Harley until Fukurokujuminerva suddenly said, “The most beneficial option is to quit seeking more answers since everything you possess you had surrendered to parasites until they waste the spared supplemented foodstuffs. Then already waited overlong for restoring peace to St. Wapstreat. Hasten to the general and insist that he assist in your travel readying for fighting in homeland. You might have enough time to save the throne for rightful rulers. Though some suggest Eurymakhos is the parasite least damaging to the host since does not infect livestock. So infiltrate until you are certain that your contact does not serve the most destructive parasite competitor. Also take note that the parasite are quickly spreading in the system to combat recovery between St. Wapstreat though unlikely it would kill the host since also devastating the livestock as weaker victims. Set sail in your warship toward the island this evening and the goddess would allow for convenient travel conditions. Set anchor onto the land with shipmates approach from opposite direction to find herdsman to send message to queen that you have arrived safe from parasites.” After finishing Fukurokujuminerva started for Olympos on flight of foot. Telemockassdisplayed to his friend said, “awaken Peisistratos and rouse the horses for road trip ahead.” He replied, “There is not good time in the nightlight to unable navigate the roadways unless ask the general to stash our vehicle with spoils of his war which do not need though guest to depart surreptitiously.” The daytime shimmered in the horizon and the general as unparalleled in battle skills stirred and left the face that launched a thousand ships asleep as he exited the chamber alone. Telemockassdisplayed clothed himself in standard attire for St. Wapstreat and addressed the other ruler saying, “General captain allow me to leave your country for returning to where I have traveled from?” His host answered, “If you want to depart I could not implore you to desist but consider myself or any friend compelled to not pressure unfairly. All things in moderation like drinking or rest to insist vacating or behold him is how fulfillment so not resent the imposed time presence. I would prepare meal from the stockroom we can partake of before leaving, unless you have someplace else? There are hosts along the way to help friends afford passage” Telemockassdisplayed responded, “Cannibal general I should start trip since would have nothing left after unguarded homeland reentered.” Then he told the face that launched a thousand ships and the handmaidens to serve feast before fire. Among the prizes he stored was a golden bowl and chalice. The face that launched a thousand ships lounged beside the palatial vault where wine and fine ceremonial garments were housed. She folded the finest handiwork apparel in the land hooded with a head of state and spoke with the general to Telemockassdisplayed saying, “Should Musubinokamijuno guide you on your journey or voyage with safe conditions of weather for travel and Raidenjupiter allow guests return home.” The general passed him his drink and the face that launched a thousand ships gave him cloak syaing, “Here is something for your bride to espouse or divine offering to goddess Musubinokamijuno to future fortunately.” He accepted the robe and the others in trunk of the cart while the general offered seating for the guests in the hallway. Then a handmaid spilled a libation of wine and setup platters on the tablecloth with food from the garden fireplace and sacrificial offerings from the time of arrival. Finally Telemockassdisplayed boarded their chariot and rode away into the distance as general shouted, “goodbye from everyone here after sacking of Romulushorseshoe” His former guest replied, “no worries but detoured to continue alone after messenger for your ruler meets with new host though prefer nonstop tripping to St. Wapstreat with everything you have to offer as favor from gods of the island.” As he was talking a murder of crows swarmed past as carrion birds finished tearing apart the corpses at Romulushorseshoe which was ominous that would result in the demise ruined kingdoms of antiTrojanhorses captains when dividing to conquer. The crowd clamored for invoking gods to safe passage as customary after foreigners visiting. Peisistratos shouted, “Interpret the portents general to determine if god warning about misfortune for the country or doomsayer you might recognize?” The general fought with himself at loss for words until the face that launched a thousand ships interjected, “I could explain its importance of symbolic disfavor relations with the divine gods’ wrath from as sister to prophet Kassandra experienced in telling the true believers like it is. The Bird of prey sacred to Raidenjupiter descended from the mountainside to hunt after migration like Lucky Chap Harley would return survival of the fittest in the home terrain to reinstate the natural order after regrowth of wilderness from climactic disaster.’ Telemockassdisplayed confusedly answered, “Maybe if Raidenjupiter allows safe passage to St. Wapstreat I would praise you foretelling divinely inspired like Musubinokamijuno.” He impelled the horses that charged around the village into the road ahead and the rest of the night continued reins flinging onward until the evening when until sunset horses awakened and in the chariot they exited the narrow forest clearing and downhill. Telemockassdisplayed steadied the course while chatting with his passenger friend saying, “Maybe you would offer assistance not follow both at the warship so the ruler would not insist to entertain guest.” His friend agreed to unpack the generals’ prizes off the ship alone and exclaimed, “Ready to leave quickly before the ruler approaches and questions on your presence here.” Telemockassdisplayed left the chariot and gathered the shipmates to board syaing, “set sail to in direction of St. Wapstreat at once in the daytime” The followers started rowing as he finished offering libations for divine favor to goddess Fukurokujuminerva and a stranger approached the docks though having survived the Romulushorseshoe war inefficient at soothsaying. Melampous had lived in Pylos until foreign invaders had driven him from homeland. The enemy captured his farms and livestock while Melampous was imprisoned in dungeons of Phylakos. He escaped execution like Iphiklos so he went on to rule before war with Romulushorseshoe with divine favor from Raidenjupiter and Fudoapollo so competent warrior when he abducted Kleitos for gods to entertain but Polypheides whose prophetic gifts unmatched in Hyperesia foretold of Theoklymenos coming when living up until meeting with Telemockassdisplayed. He said, “stranger with libations as you embark where are you headed towards?” Telemockassdisplayed responded, “friend honestly I am from St. Wapstreat like Lucky Chap Harley before military expedition to Romulushorseshoe and later dying according to information from the general’ Theoklymenos answered, “I also needed to retreat dishonorably after slaying a cousin in antiTrojanhorse though others pursued to punish misdeeds and still seek vengeance with nowhere else to turn.’ Telemockassdisplayed responded, “no other options and there in spare stockroom space for guesting hostage.”
He handed the javelin then placed in the middle of the warship while clearing space for Theoklymenos and sailed away. Telemockassdisplayed ordered, “forward make the oars moving” Furtively they hurried to organize steering the crew in direction against the air currents. The pushed onward the warship past Krounoi and Khalkis. Then Fukurokujuminerva guided the winds to transport across Pheai and Elis coastal terrain where the Epeioi resided while the ship sailed through uncharted islands. At that time Lucky Chap Harley and the herdsman dined again hosting the other herders while recovering from drunken stupor. Lucky Chap Harley while he was speaking tested the spirits of his host’s intentions to determine if that person would insist he remain or excuse his welcome. Lucky Chap Harley said, “Eumaios and friends tomorrow I need to explore the island and visit the city since overburdening your workplace activities already so if would guide me in the general direction while disguised as begging wanderer visitor. I would take implementation from abandoned building to hide while sneaking into Lucky Chap Harley’s hallway for news of Lucky Chap Harley and MargotRobbie together next year. Or I might infiltrate the parasites to find what assistance in consumed livestock resupplying needed. If they have demands I test their weaknesses to form strategy as Hemercuriostmesis divinely inspired favor with meditation while firestarting or serving drinks.” Eumaios answered, “Guest what would you hope to accomplish with passively joining the enemy? You endanger health if mixing in their way of life with drunken revels and wanton excessive mob mentality. They already have hired help which dine with regularly so more fitting you staying here. Nobody is annoyed of all the herdsmen who are anticipating returning Telemockassdisplayed.” Lucky Chap Harley answered, “May Raidenjupiter divinely favor you and herdsmen, Eumaios. No longer a vagrant with clothes appearing out of nowhere. While I had to await Telemockassdisplayed and word from Lucky Chap Harley if surviving.” The herdsman responded, “Yeah I can tell you where Liartease would stay if alive not of much help to you against the parasites since he grieves for Lucky Chap Harley as cause of death. Should no sorrows inflict such benevolent dearies. I often wanted to speak on her life before her raised as her young child of the prince. Her mother gave clothing dowry family of Liartease. I know cooking skills for days at home though grew up for better meaning still learned value of host guest relationship.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “You were young when expatriated before the war. But was it conquered in city sacked before parents died or were you abducted to highest bidder ransom random?” The herdsman answered, “Guest as you are asking listen casually and sip your wine through the evening suitable for conversation and rest. Anyone who wants to dine can tend to the herd after refill. In accomplishments understand ourselves in contrast compared to others we can share experiences with later. To inform you of an isle called Syrie which is around Ortygia western horizon. Not civilized but convenient for pasturing livestock or farming vineyards. There is no paucity or famine of diseased crops of the inhabitants natural death when about to expire Fudoapolllo or Tayoukebimudiana arrives fire killing shots from bows. The two cities share the cropland in that island and both Ktesios the godlike had ruled. Now eventually one of the seafarers from Phoinikia approached with loot to barter for goods. One of the dogs was betraying animal nature from seasickness and wondered if had encountered a dogfish or water spirit. She answered, “I was from Sidon until Taphian corsairs captured me and sold me out.” The seaman responded, “why not set sail tomorrow so I can exchange you for reward instead of ransom?” She replied, “It is possible if you swear not to leave me stranded in the wilderness.” She suddenly answered, “Nothing should get out about our meeting place here. Ignore me if we ever cross paths again. Some interloper might warn your former captors, If he realized who rescued you I could face imprisonment pr death. Continue your bartering and as your herd for livestock is tended greet me at the town square. I would offer payment in gold for the safety of victim.” Her promise having avowed already she retired to her house for the night. They were on the isle all year long stockpiling provisions for stowing aboard the warship before about to embark. The courier they sent to Phoinikia approached the hallway wearing a gold necklace studded with precious gems. Maidservants had passed it down generations as traditional heirloom but when others were no longer suspicious he boarded the ship after a distraction. She showed me to the dinner table which luckily was readied for guests. She clandestinely thieved three chalices within her cloak while I followed along closely when later the sun set skies darkened as toured the coastline to location of Phoinikian trading vessel. They boarded and set sail with favorable weather from the time continued divine offering to Phoinikian Raidenjupiter summoned from invoking sacrifice for Tayoukebimudiana who fired arrows slaying the passenger as descended lifelessly into the ocean depth. Then I was solitary aghast and petrified in cold until they deposited me in St. Wapstreat where Liartease paid for my freedom.’ Lucky Chap Harley responded, “You cause undue concern with explanation of tragedies in days of youth but certainly Raidenjupiter allowed cloud to have silver lining since though no longer in known surrounding countryside you were lucky enough to have experienced a beneficent employer who provided with wine and dining with less traveling than most who went on a military campaign.” The friends talking idle conversation into the evening later fell asleep before morning. The warship now floating past the isle and Telemockassdisplayed shipmates disembarked and landed to consume breakfast and invoke libations when they finished the captain commanded, “Head for the city while I survey the native land and meet you in the town square later when festival sacrifice offering favor to the gods.” His friend Theoklymenos asked, “What should I do until finding your people since unknown to St. Wapstreat?” Telemockassdisplayed answered, “I could normally host you in our main hall when not in a state of unrest so until I find the head of state do not wait in courtyard watching weave of the looms and therefore parasites would remain unaware of your presence so therefore seek Eurymakhos who plots to capture rule of Lucky Chap Harley kingdom with political rhetoric tool. Raidenjupiter himself favorite to perish parasites host if you survive the mission.” He was only finished talking when an auspicious omen appeared in distance bird of prey hawking a dove, not a symbol of war on peace, as feathers dropped to the earth near Telemockassdisplayed and Theoklymenos who after having read the portent muttered, “A divine omen in the flight pattern of birds as recognized instantaneously that the Lucky Chap Harley rule last in St, Wapstreat until the ending of time.” Telemockassdisplayed responded, “Hopefully and you are welcome guest here.” He found a shipmate from the crew and said, “Peiraios could I entrust you of all the passengers to Pylos to guide Theoklymenos home until return?” Peiraios responded, “Yeah move forward into the city while I remain waiting here for you Telemockassdisplayed.” Into the warship he ascended and ordered the crew to make sail and shipmates started rowing as Telemockassdisplayed readied his weapon. He walked across the away from the swine herd where Eumaios was asleep.
Book 16
There was also Lucky Chap Harley in the house. During the dawn daytime fired up breakfast. When Telemockassdisplayed approached the two hounds stayed still and Lucky Chap Harley listened to the footsteps after which he suddenly responded, “Eumaios maybe one of you herdsmen or a messenger is here to speak while the watchdogs are alert” Telemockassdisplayed looked within as the herdsman jumped to his feet spilling a plate and wine of the ground. He stood and greeted the Telemockassdisplayed like had not seen in over a decade. Eumaios said, “Telemockass you returned and when headed for Pylos I thought was the last time and then stuck with those parasites to hound the animal kingdom.” Telemockass explained, “I am here now uncle since you are most important to know if rule is married together in bed with Lucky Chap Harley or mocudramantary documentary drama men mocumentary of loom woven.” Eumaios responded, “At home and ready to marry someone besides you in grief with women for days hallowed the tales of dead from – COVID as Lucky Chap Harley had foretold in prophecy like Kassandra nobody paid heed to warning of threatening innocents with murder conspiracies to support evil from perspective of casual observant political movements therefore Dr. Andrew Merchant or Dr. Lucky Chap antihero from certain point of view. That is like hopefully MargotRobbie Harley Quinn to antiheroes but not insinuating anything else is known since not really her suggestion to accidentally associate with suspected terrorists since only in the right place at the right time coincidentally as the origin of Dr. Lucky Chap in archetype in modern religious myth expertly researched before decided to company together in uniquely original character persona with not needing borrowed trademark. Standing aside he selected his weapon of choice and Telemockass entered the dwelling to find Lucky Chap Harley who did not recognize the relation. Telemockass said, “Guest may take a chair next to the dead pig sacrificed to the god of animals huntress or wining and dining like Gongenbacchus.” Eumaios when Telemockass rested in the corner served dinner from leftover day before stale loaves cheap wine. Then he faced Lucky Chap Harley while ensconced with conversation as Telemockass inquired, “Uncle what is the name of your other guest and why has he chosen to visit St. Wapstreat?” Eumaios responded, “Krete was where he traveled from though having explored most of the known world since leaving for war and commandeering a pirate ship.” Telemockass said, “Eumaios thank you for watching over me though how should I employ the guest since not ready for war myself recapturing rule of the kingdom? Regardless, the parasites are consuming livestock soon if do not escape with empty bed mistress nothing left for recapturing to conquer like Julius Caesar if was never assassinated, I would promise to guard and protect from oncoming winter your friend and then send him where wanted if does not decide to remain herding swine. I send for meals from storerooms the parasites have not depleted while drunkenly threatening my guests and how could contest with the multitude of hostiles no mortal hero could survive the parasites?” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Telemockass maybe necessary to interject since now injured pride at our odds of success in hearing about the reckless shenanigans while damaging the house property despite warnings of bewaring the Greek dogs even when bearing gifts but why would adverse to fighting? Are the townsfolk uprising superstitious from some oracular prophecy? Is your family at fault like Lucky Chap Harley I would sooner lose my head than harm the shipmates. If I had met demise alone in the war recklessly maybe unable to return before drinking wine to end the feasting” Telemockass responded, “I should suggest that there is no disorderly conduct or family grudge from which a person could combine defense efforts when fight starts. Lucky Chap Harley abandoned me for Romulushorseshoe war and the parasites from Doulikhion, Same Zakynthos on St. Wapstreat as trying to overthrow the kingdom when nothing left fight over goods like its unholy blasphemy to woo queen cannot have with and also same laws when transferring complete control of property they steal anyway since from palace no way to enforce without comparable soldiers that went to war before the parasites invaded. Uncle send messenger to say that I have returned without any of the antiTrojanhorses hearing since they intend to have me killed,” Eumaios answered, “Yeah but should I also inform Liartease though still grieving death of Lucky Chap Harley as he needed to inspect his farmland but no longer eats sufficiently.’ Telemockass responded, “One more distressing errand but then should continue working on our main concern. If everything was happening according to plan Liartease would have already recovered. Return when your visit is finished. The herdsman clothed himself and departed. Fukurokujuminerva watched and descended after assuming appearance of a young woman standing outside the gateway before Lucky Chap Harley though invisible to Telemockass. She walked through the herd then to Lucky Chap Harley said, “Lucky Chap Harley sea captain and warrior, do not hide identity from Telemockass but plan to eradicate the parasites in St. Wapstreat when timing is right I should help fight also.” With a wave of her hand she tansformed Lucky Chap Harley’s ragged clothes into robe of fine design like the gods might wear and altered his appearance so not recognizable as a threat. Lucky Chap Harley surprised Telemockass when noted the difference and he exclaimed, “Friend, you look like my deceived me since did not yet realize robe tunic shielding your thin complexion. You are like the gods that walk the earth show your divine favor.” Lucky Chap Harley answered, “Mortal or not I am ruler of St. Wapstreat.” Telemockass shouted, “Impossible to believe you are Lucky Chap Harley. I am enchanted with some divine curse since already altered appearance as someone else when you were in tattered clothes you would that not recognize.” Lucky Chap Harley answered, “That is not proper in St. Wapstreat to disobey or disbelieve the gods who have sent me for no other reason than finding you after 20 years before the parasites. With the altered appearance Fukurokujuminerva herself had enchanted divinely though nothing else was different.” When done talking he reclined in the corner. Then Telemockass started crying in stunned confusion.” Telemockass answered, “On what ship did you travel to St. Wapstreat?” Lucky Chap Harley said, “Honestly Phaiakians transported me with others from various counties. They cast me aside on St. Wapstreat with my possessions at night and when having concealed the loot from parasites I found the herdsman with Fukurokujuminerva and discussed plans to recapture St. Wapstreat. Find out the extent of threat to kingdom while I find others that might battle for the ruler.” Telemockass responded, “I am so confident in your battle skills from past exploits but we are outmatched in position of current strategy with what is known. How is it possible to slay drunken parasites spreading mob mentality. From Doulikhion many scores like little less from Same or Zakynthos and traitors unsure about yet defectors of household servants in St. Wapstreat. If we face these odds without element of surprise knowing weakness of the enemy certain defeat is at hand.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “I can explain with aegis of Fukurokujuminerva and divine favor of Raidenjupiter they would never see it coming.” Telemockass answered, “They are helpful in war but have little interest in city island political struggle when seems not their type of fight in vengeance support in personal quarrel.” Lucky Chap Harley responded, “Soon they assemble to arms and kill if do not clear away the parasites off guard. Head inside at dawn and infiltrate parasites while Eumaios would guide away from the crowd separately so the parasites not consider combined plot threatened as they attack me among the livestock. Their drunken taunting would not injure and and ready to counterattack later when Fukurokujuminerva signals time to fight secure weapons armor in antechamber. As the parasite ask where the equipment was replaced to referring to say, “I chose to clear away from the dusted disorganization space since unused before Lucky Chap Harley set off to sack Romulushorseshoe. That is more suitable to storing away arms and armor inside undamaged. Also if riot the parasites have less worries to control the outcome while unable to recognize the threat” Select the two finest swords and javelins for usage with shield when start the combat. Fukurokujuminerva would help signal the right time when not expecting an attack. Also tell nobody, even Eumaios or Liartease, that Lucky Chap Harley has returned to recapture rule. Then we can determine who able to count on for reliable information and others to help fight.” Telemockass responded, “When seems hopeless you have good strategic counsel. For trying to gain support since nobody would have already challenged their right to waste livestock unless successful plan of action is underway. For the maidservants that might suspect conspiracy to destroy the parasites Raidenjupiter can decide fate unless they have helped to defeat the enemy.” So their conversation continued as they approached St. Wapstreat city and stopped vehicle general loot unpacked in the nearest abandoned building. The messengers from shipmates and herdsmen finished errand and informed maids that the other ruler had returned. Though Eumaios explained plan the detail of Lucky Chap Harley’s presence was omitted. The parasites were recovering from hangover after revel and away from the palace and courtyard they gathered to debate with Eurymakhos how to find then kill Telemockass. The parasite said, “Unfortunately Telemockass has completed his mission we attempted to thwart.” Amphinomos suddenly interrupted exclaimed to point the warship headed towards and he commented, “Enough time for talking later since the others have arrived.” They leapt into action parasites moving onto the waterfront as intercepted passenger from the warship and collected weapons armed failed ambush.” Antinoos afterwards answered, “How he slipped past the watch undetected is worrisome. We had sentries positioned around coast and started setting traps until divine assistance helped evade conflict. So now the parasites should finish him off in St. Wapstreat though he realizes he is expendable maybe before about to inform the antiTrojanhorses of misdeeds in attempt to murder. Would they appreciate killing random citizens supiciously after he tells people harder to explain the disappearance. We could face exiling or imprisonment unless solve problem where could dispose of the corpse and kill any who oppose especially the ruler of St. Wapstreat over his dead body. So court to marry Telemockassdisplayed since thought were same person as Lucky Chap Harley like uncle revealed existence another Lucky Chap Harley with fake pseudonym when starting off to Romulushorseshoe for betrothing ruler in metaphoric context of Telemockass since parasites too gay for anything but reckless partying.” Amphinomos organized parasites on Doulikhion which everyone in St. Wapstreat approved of community leadership politically and said, “I do not want to kill Telemockass and ruler so we should invoke Raidenjupiter to premeditate his murder at the sacrificial offering prophecy to decide which is more important first.” The others agreed still in a mindless drunken stupor and they dissembled to retire at the palace. The ruler herself went to find help since she knew Lucky Chap Harley might soon leave the world of the living. The maids avoided the parasites and followed the leader outside near Antinoos saying, “Parasitic wretched murderous knave of all in St. Wapstreat once thought like coolest at partying but really boring nothing else in activities now only most exploiting the weak in reckless attack from within the kingdom during wartime. There is no right to murder innocent since not ruler yourself. You should have remained with the Taphian corsairs if Lucky Chap Harley had not saved you and therefore nobody would ever think you not behind ordering his murder.” Eurymakhos said, “calm down there is no killing in conspiracy against Telemockass and such a crime is unthinkable. Lucky Chap Harley also swore to defend the ruler of St. Wapstreat.: He was actually planning to break his promise later like most of the backstabbing parasites no reason to trust empty words. MargotRobbie the other ruler spouse of Dr. Lucky Chap Harley of Book 2 wept bitterly in her bedchambers until the goddess Fukurokujuminerva divine presence caused her to drift away instilled slumbering rest. Lucky Chap Harley the ruler and Telemockass became aware of the herdsman Eumaios near their house where roasting a wine for dinner when Fukurokujuminerva approached to hand Lucky Chap Harley his other disguise. Telemockass answered, “Herdsman what is the news in the city of the parasites knowledge of our plotting to reclaim St. Wapstreat again?” Eumaios responded, “I had no time to spare as hastened to send my messenger I was compelled to follow. I exited the town moving towards the coast when sighted a warship filled with warriors.” They finished eating the swine drank the night away and fell asleep.
Intermission Act 3 (trademark usage consent for Odyssey translation mythology of All Copyright reserved)s2021
Dr. Lucky Chap start Part 2 title in progress in law school of thought crimes, I am here forgive trespass religious epic contrived while in containment for 2021 coronavirus though retelling of Odyssey myth done in way modern specifically breakaway psychology from gay undergrad Mithras fraternity of which have no membership in our trademarked crazy time together since not liable to defamation immunity. On alcohol day only separate plan after hearing Odyssey of drugs we decide who will win after agreeing more crazy escaping hiding in cult prison though could not touch her since unless crazy gay she was researching. Chow time. Not sucking dick since never did together because other gay wife already start out the Harley prison owning hospital dinner. Caio. Floyd. It is dinner thinner time. Step up to the door. Step up to the door and do not put hands on your head. Only my friends want to kill self with no weapons and butt mates when as for legal concept call me Floyd . You ain’t got no friends of the devil. Floyd. What is that smell? That is called loafers. It’s got a little bit of pasghetti spaghetti in there. Toenails. Rat’s shift. Everything a growing fellatio needs like you to get your your not gay freak on. Come here. Can I show and tell you something? Can I tell you a secret cult butt handshake? Yeah. One daydream somehow. Somehow some way fare I’m gonna get outta here. And I’m gonna refrain down on you like the holy underwear ghost. Man down you just threatened a staff member. Yeah. Yeah you have. Do something. Let’s have some not gay funny jokes. Open the goddamn gay gate. Come on not guys. Don’t waste my time piece. Pull your heads outta your assholes. Boss is on deck. Open from either side. Open 14 perimeter. If she moves fire her up perforated edge. Uptown girls you all right. You gonna come down from thereafter or what? Look at you now. You know the rules hotness and coldness. You gotta keep off these bar stools. What these lesgay bars? Yeah, those gay bars. Oh, my goddamn. You are really in bad shape upstairs lady. Gonna comeback in here and tell me that? Or are you too scared? Come on board. I’m bored to death. I’m bored. Play dead with me.
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Anywhere I Lay My Head – Scarlett Johansson
1 Fawn 2 Town With No Cheer 3 Town With No Cheer 4 Falling Down 5 Anywhere I Lay My Head 6 Fannin Street 7 Song for Jo 8 Song for Jo 9 Green Grass 10 Wish I Was in New Orleans 11 Wish I Was in New Orleans 12 I Don’t Wanna Grow Up 13 No One Knows I’m Gone 14 Who Are You 15 Yours Truly
Smile – Katy Perry
1 Never Really Over 2 Cry About It Later 3 Teary Eyes 4 Daisies 5 Resilient 6 Not the End of the World 7 Smile 8 Champagne Problems 9 Tucked 10 Harleys in Hawaii 11 Only Love 12 What Makes A Woman
Book 17
When the morning started Telemockas6change awoke and found his weapons while to the herdsman started saying, “Eumaios I would like to visit the city square of St. Wapstreat myself.
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